My wife has left me I'm so lost

Molinit · Sep 23, 2021 at 03:33 PM

No contact except for child health or transportation. Don’t ask her anything regarding her. She is an adult.

divine1966 · Sep 24, 2021 at 05:13 AM

It’s her responsibility to seek help from her psychiatrist snd her doctor and her therapist. It’s not your job to fix her especially since she is the one left to be with another man. What can you do here? Nothing. At this point it is your responsibility to take care of your kids. Not worry about your ex. And I agree with the other poster. File for child support. She must contribute.

sarahsweets · Sep 24, 2021 at 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mtrman

I'm trying to get through this its so hard I miss her everyday I have to pretend I'm ok for my boys but I'm dying inside I spent 20 years loving her I'm lost right now I don't see how everything can change so fast I know bi polar effects a lot of her way of thinking but I don't know how she could just walk away from her family our kids a devastated they don't even understand it

I have bipolar and I have been married and faithful for over 27 years. I think bipolar affects alot and during mania- sure risk taking behaviors take place but I dont think its typical of someone with bipolar to cheat.

sarahsweets · Sep 24, 2021 at 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mtrman

Im doing everything I can for my kids I'm worried about her because I've always been there when things get bad in her head I know I shouldn't but it's hard to shut off how you feel I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis so after an 8 to 12 hour work day I'm struggling to move and I still have to cook get kids to and from school and do chores at home so I don't have time for friends or anything else and if I did I'm In to much pain anyway that's not a sympathy plea I've learned to live with that when she is good she the sweetest person on earth I still can't get her smile out of my head she could talk for hours about nothing but when she was bad she slept most of the day and would cry the restive held her many nights trying to make things better

Have you heard of codependence?
What It’s Like to be in a Codependent Relationship with a Bipolar Partner | by Nikola Grace Radley | Fearless She Wrote | Medium This is a very good article to check out.

Mtrman · Sep 25, 2021 at 10:09 PM

I'm not saying it's just bipolar I think this guy just got to her at a vulnerable point she has been depressed for a couple months he told her he had training in helping those suffering from depression so she talked to him while I was working I didn't know until after when I found their messages he eventually told her he had feelings for her kicker is he has training as a 911 dispatcher

sarahsweets · Sep 26, 2021 at 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mtrman

She cheated didn't have another kid though the kids are mine and they stayed with me and I don't know what she's willing or not willing to do right now I've never seen her like this her bp episodes are usually spaced out once or twice a year it seems like she bouncing back and forth through episodes over a matter of days she's depressed and angry one day and bouncing off the walls the next I need to get her help but this other guy is blocking my every attempt I'm afraid if it goes on to long there will be nothing anyone can do

Wait she left her kids ?? Don’t get me wrong I’m sure you’re a capable father it’s just so unusual to have a mother or any parent for that matter to just leave the children. You don’t need to get her help. I can appreciate that you want to, that you feel responsible to do it, and you are used to cleaning up her messes. You can’t do it this time. She has clearly demonstrated she has no regard for the sanctity of your relationship.

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sarahsweets · Sep 26, 2021 at 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mtrman

I'm not saying it's just bipolar I think this guy just got to her at a vulnerable point she has been depressed for a couple months he told her he had training in helping those suffering from depression so she talked to him while I was working I didn't know until after when I found their messages he eventually told her he had feelings for her kicker is he has training as a 911 dispatcher

I hate to say it, but vulnerable or not this guy didn’t “get “ to her. She let him in.

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Werewoman · Sep 26, 2021 at 05:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

Wait she left her kids ?? Don’t get me wrong I’m sure you’re a capable father it’s just so unusual to have a mother or any parent for that matter to just leave the children. You don’t need to get her help. I can appreciate that you want to, that you feel responsible to do it, and you are used to cleaning up her messes. You can’t do it this time. She has clearly demonstrated she has no regard for the sanctity of your relationship.

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People just leavetheir children everyday. I'm sorry to say there's nothing at all unusual about it. I'm retiring after 20 years as a CASA. I worked many cases of child abandonment. They don't get them back, either. They'll get visitation if their home is safe and healthy but few want them back.
I know foster parents get bad press sometimes, but they are the angels who come down and scoop them up, carry them to a safe place, and give them a loving home.

divine1966 · Sep 26, 2021 at 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Werewoman

People just leavetheir children everyday. I'm sorry to say there's nothing at all unusual about it. I'm retiring after 20 years as a CASA. I worked many cases of child abandonment. They don't get them back, either. They'll get visitation if their home is safe and healthy but few want them back.
I know foster parents get bad press sometimes, but they are the angels who come down and scoop them up, carry them to a safe place, and give them a loving home.

Yeah sadly people dump their kids all the time. Both men and women. And there are many who don’t even visit their kids after dumping them on others.. Whole bunch of kids are raised by other relatives with both parents being absentees and many are raised by one parent while the other one is pursuing who knows what in life. Sad

Molinit · Sep 26, 2021 at 09:51 AM

OP, you are so totally in a codependent relationship with her. Please get a therapist ASAP. Your need to fix her (what you call "helping") is interfering with you taking care of the business of divorce. You should be driving this train and you are allowing her to. Get an attorney tomorrow and file. She needs to be paying the required amount of support for these kids while she isn't living in the home and also after divorce.

Get in the driver's seat here. Get therapy so you can repair yourself and not attract another broken person. She is most definitely broken.

Doingfine07 · Nov 14, 2021 at 06:22 AM

Crazy World these days!
Move on… Your life would be better.

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My wife has left me I'm so lost

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Molinit Grand Member Member Since Nov 2015 Location: Michigan Posts: 841 8 84 hugs given	Sep 23, 2021 at 03:33 PM #21 No contact except for child health or transportation. Don’t ask her anything regarding her. She is an adult.
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Doingfine07 New Member Member Since Nov 2021 Location: Wolfforth,TX Posts: 1 2	Nov 14, 2021 at 06:22 AM #31 Crazy World these days! Move on… Your life would be better.
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