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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 14
2 |
Sep 11, 2021 at 01:12 PM
#1
My wife suffers from bi polar disorder she has always had her ups and downs but lately it seemed to get much worse she was always crying or upset then last week I found out she has been having an affair with her ex she says she loves me but she's not in love with me anymore and he's the only one who makes her feel sane I don't know what to do or if there's anything I can do she's been gone for 5 days and I feel so alone
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 astoldbyginger, Photonate, Soupe du jour
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2014
Location: Betelgeuse
Posts: 1,472
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Sep 11, 2021 at 09:26 PM
#2
Do you think she would come back, and if she did, would you take her back?
I'm sorry this is happening to you. __________________  You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd |
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 14
2 |
Sep 12, 2021 at 08:08 AM
#3
I don't know it's the second time it's happened the last time she was drinking heavily this time she's sober I feel like I tried she wouldn't except my help I really don't know anything right now especially with this other man in the picture
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| Photonate
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2014
Location: Betelgeuse
Posts: 1,472
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Sep 12, 2021 at 12:45 PM
#4
Quote:
Regardless, this will not be over for some time, so start doing things that make you feel good about yourself. I'm in the process of walking away from a 30 year marriage. It's very surreal and frightening. I don't know at what point everything changed. We've always been tight up until about three years ago. __________________ You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd |
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| Photonate
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 14
2 |
Sep 12, 2021 at 01:10 PM
#5
She came and got her stuff today she got really upset I was to but I kept my mouth shut I feel like she really doesn't want to leave but feels like she has to she's always been very easily manipulated it just feels like this guy is using her emotions against her she say he's the only one who can help her I offered to do counseling therapy what ever it took but she believes he's the only way
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| Open Eyes, Photonate, Werewoman
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 14
2 |
Sep 14, 2021 at 11:12 AM
#6
I'm trying to get through this its so hard I miss her everyday I have to pretend I'm ok for my boys but I'm dying inside I spent 20 years loving her I'm lost right now I don't see how everything can change so fast I know bi polar effects a lot of her way of thinking but I don't know how she could just walk away from her family our kids a devastated they don't even understand it
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| Photonate, Werewoman
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Posts: 2,011
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Sep 15, 2021 at 02:36 PM
#7
Get support by all means - from objective people such as a mental health professional. And do what is best for you. Always.
Unfortunately, your wife is suffering from a mental illness. She does not get a free pass but at the same time, she is not the devil incarnate. Last edited by FooZe; Sep 18, 2021 at 12:16 AM.. Reason: Administrative edit to bring within guidelines |
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 lizardlady, Werewoman
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 14
2 |
Sep 15, 2021 at 05:59 PM
#8
Thank you I am talking to a therapist. Just helps to vent somewhere else sometimes I'm worried about what might happen to her and missing her at the same time trying to comfort my kids and be strong is hard as hell have to hide my emotions most days and not knowing where things went wrong is almost to much
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| Open Eyes, Photonate, Werewoman
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 841
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Sep 16, 2021 at 09:14 AM
#9
Okay, she isn't worried about you so why are you worrying about her? Your children need to be #1 priority here and they should be taking all the energy you are wasting on her.
Please explore in therapy why you are so enmeshed in that relationship. |
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
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Sep 16, 2021 at 06:27 PM
#10
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I wish I had a man who loved me like you love your wife. She's so lucky. And she's throwing it away. She'll wake up and regret her decision. Than you will have moved on. I'm sad reading this.
__________________ Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P.  Daughter: 20  Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs. |
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 14
2 |
Sep 17, 2021 at 06:27 AM
#11
Im doing everything I can for my kids I'm worried about her because I've always been there when things get bad in her head I know I shouldn't but it's hard to shut off how you feel I suffer from rheumatoid arthritis so after an 8 to 12 hour work day I'm struggling to move and I still have to cook get kids to and from school and do chores at home so I don't have time for friends or anything else and if I did I'm In to much pain anyway that's not a sympathy plea I've learned to live with that when she is good she the sweetest person on earth I still can't get her smile out of my head she could talk for hours about nothing but when she was bad she slept most of the day and would cry the restive held her many nights trying to make things better
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| Bill3, lizardlady, Open Eyes, Photonate, Werewoman
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Aviza, Werewoman
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 14
2 |
Sep 19, 2021 at 01:23 PM
#12
Guess it doesn't matter know she's filing for divorce
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| Open Eyes, Photonate, Werewoman
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,111
(SuperPoster!)
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Sep 19, 2021 at 04:28 PM
#13
When it comes to mental illness often even the individual suffering struggles to understand.
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| Werewoman
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Werewoman
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 14
2 |
Sep 19, 2021 at 06:42 PM
#14
I think a lot of our struggles are from communication I work a lot and struggle to get around when I'm home and she felt like she couldn't talk to me
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| Photonate, Werewoman
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 4,887
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Sep 20, 2021 at 06:36 AM
#15
I don't know what you can do if her mind is made up. Would she go to a couple's counseling session with you to work on anything? It sucks, I'm sorry this is happening.
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| Werewoman
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2014
Location: Betelgeuse
Posts: 1,472
9 1,217 hugs
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Sep 21, 2021 at 07:36 AM
#16
Wait, SHE cheated on you and had a kid with another guy and she's divorcing YOU? Sweetheart, your life is about to get a whole lot better, even though it probably doesn't seem that way now.
I wish you all the best. You deserve to be happy without her. __________________ You're only given one little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. ~ Robin Williams Did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? ~ Pink Floyd |
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 14
2 |
Sep 21, 2021 at 08:09 AM
#17
She cheated didn't have another kid though the kids are mine and they stayed with me and I don't know what she's willing or not willing to do right now I've never seen her like this her bp episodes are usually spaced out once or twice a year it seems like she bouncing back and forth through episodes over a matter of days she's depressed and angry one day and bouncing off the walls the next I need to get her help but this other guy is blocking my every attempt I'm afraid if it goes on to long there will be nothing anyone can do
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| hvert, Photonate, Werewoman
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 841
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Sep 21, 2021 at 08:22 AM
#18
You don't need to do anything for her. Make sure she is ordered to pay child support. You have children to take care of and they should be taking all of your energy. Please get therapy - your fixation on "helping" her is not healthy. She isn't caring about dumping children with you.
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 14
2 |
Sep 21, 2021 at 12:30 PM
#19
I don't give up on people that easily especially someone I love she is there mother and in my mind helping her is helping them regardless of her actions they need her I can only see it hurting them if she's not ok
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Werewoman
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Junior Member
Member Since Sep 2021
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 14
2 |
Sep 23, 2021 at 02:01 PM
#20
Well now her aunt has convinced her she isn't bipolar so she's quitting her meds
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| Werewoman
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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