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FridayT
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Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 55
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#1
How exactly would you have approached your partner?
Supposed your partner who had been supporting you and caring for you for years, spent his entire income, time, energy and his sanity on you. Not only that, worked day and night to bring home the paycheck and do all of the household chores while you sit around and do nothing. After having taken care of you in the hospital sacrificing weeks from work which ended up nearly getting you evicted, you’ve both are in deep need of help. What to do? Kill your partner with a sword? Tell him that he’s the worst provider? Comfort him, offer support and have both of you work together? There’s only one bed available in the apartment, you were asleep in the chair. It’s uncomfortable. You had allowed your partner to sleep in the bed because it’s uncomfortable for him to sleep in the chair too. You now wanted to sleep in the bed. He was just now up and was on his phone or tablet looking at something. What to do? Yell at him to get out of the bed so you could sleep? Also, ignore that he just tried to greet you in an affectionate way, because f him, right? Glomp onto him and kiss him and tell him you would like to sleep on the bed, if that is ok? |
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Buffy01, Fuzzybear, hvert, RoxanneToto, Yaowen
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Buffy01
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Magnate
Rive.
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Member Since: Sep 2013
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#2
There is a difference between supporting someone and enabling someone. One partner killing themselves for another, at the detriment of their needs and boundaries, mental sanity or even emotional well-being is *not* support. This is not a healthy relationship. What Partner A is doing is only teaching Partner B that they can sit back and do nothing. Sorry but the responsibility here goes both ways.
Instead of killing Partner B or yelling at them (after all, Partner A taught Partner B that this behaviour was acceptable anyway): the relationship dynamics need to change. Partner B who is luxuriating in their partner doing everything for them needs to get their butt in gear. And Partner A needs to stop doing every single thing for Partner B. That is, IF Partner A wants to stay in the relationship. |
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RoxanneToto
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Buffy01
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#3
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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Member
FridayT
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Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 55
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#4
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BigBubba
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Member Since: May 2021
Location: Europe
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#5
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Legendary Wise Elder
divine1966
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#6
Quote:
OP’s ex, who didn’t treat OP right and refused to pull the weight, is a man |
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Rive.
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divine1966
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#7
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FridayT
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#8
We're both men. I am the only one who worked, I was the caretaker, provider! I was the one who does the shopping, the cleaning, the cooking, the laundry and more while he never worked, doesn't do anything in the apartment except complain over every tiny little thing and ordered me around. I had to take time off work to care for him for weeks which ended up losing income for the rent and food. I had to ask my parents for help. I didn't like asking them to help because I felt like a lousy son who was begging for help even though I hadn't asked for help for 7 years. My ex husband tried to brain me with a weapon and had called me the worst provider when I told him I have no money for food or rent.
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divine1966
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#9
Quote:
I am so glad you are done with this terrible person |
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Fuzzybear
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#10
I'm glad you're done with this person.
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