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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2021
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 589
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Sep 26, 2021 at 08:34 PM
#1
My divorce will have been final two years in December. I haven't seen my ex in over two years. Yet, their memory has never left my side. I still, daily, think about them. Granted-- it's not about who or where they are now. It's the memories of things I wanted, should have had with them. I know it's unhealthy but I don't know how to let it go. I loved with all I had to and it wasn't enough. If it's not an active thought it's dreams.
Has anyone else gone through this? How did you finally move on? Any advice? |
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 Yaowen
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,618
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Sep 27, 2021 at 10:25 AM
#2
Dear Winds ThatBlow,
Sorry that is happening to you. It once took me 13 years to get over a lost relationship and we were not even married, so I can definitely empathize with you. What finally helped me was some advice a psychiatrist gave me. He told me to make a list of everything I didn't like about the person, everything that could have been better in the relationship but wasn't. I was to read that list at least three times a day. I don't know for sure, but I think that finally freed me and gave me some closure. I hope you can find something that helps you. Sincerely yours, Yao Wen |
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| Brentus
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 Brentus
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
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Sep 27, 2021 at 08:12 PM
#3
Quote:
You mentioned that you haven’t seen your ex however you refer to other things like they and them. Are you talking about children? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2021
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 589
3 959 hugs
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Sep 28, 2021 at 09:27 AM
#4
Quote:
Actually, as embarrassing as it is to talk about, I am not talking about children. I miss my dog terribly that lives with my ex. The plurality of the pronoun involves her as well. |
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sarahsweets
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
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Sep 28, 2021 at 08:43 PM
#5
So Sorry things are being so hard also! Please Do not give up!
  Hugs. i agree with the other wise and wonderful posters about making a list of the things that may have been improved in your Marriage and perhaps seeing a therapist also. i feel like that may Help you if you haven't been seeing one already. m. Unfortunately it can take time to truly Grieve so do try your best. Find some distractions and try to spend some more time with Family and Friends if possible. m. Do what is possible to focus on your Life right now. Be Kind to yourself and other people obviously. i apologize if this post isn't really useful but i Hope things will improve for everyone nonetheless obviously. Everyone deserves to be Loved. m. Do try your Best. Be Generous. Love. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @WindsThatBlow, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!     
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jan 2011
Posts: 574
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Sep 29, 2021 at 05:43 AM
#6
I understand. I have been divorced for 20 years and still think about what should have been. All we can do is honor our feelings. xo
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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2021
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 589
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Sep 29, 2021 at 08:02 PM
#7
Just wanted to take a moment and say thank you to everyone who responded. I appreciate your inputs. Thank you again.
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