Lost Them All

I was on a hobby writing site and had been a part of the community for nearly three years. A few months ago I got involved with one of my closest friends...only to find out she is narcissistic. It wasn't visible when we were friends, but once we became romantically involved, things changed dramatically in a really horrible, alarming way. I've never really had anyone give me nightmares before her, and I have had a number of unhealthy relationships. Because of her, I also lost all my friends. A lot of them took her side. A lot of them backstabbed me. I found out my one friend, they were flirting together behind my back.

All I could do was walk away from a hobby I once seriously loved and was passionate about. In a community where I was very well known and popular, though after our break up and my fall out with the other "Friends" that seemed to lessen.

I'm just sitting here like...yeah, I once again lost everything. I realize there are other websites out there for connecting with people, which I will pursue. But this is a sad one to let go of. I feel like I need to go somewhere that no one knows me. Being betrayed, several times over...by people you really loved and trusted. That's hard. That's very hard. My trust issues are off the roof and my self-esteem is slow low right now. I'm trying my best to move on and recover from the abuse I went through with this person.

I'm really sorry that happened to you. Things like that shouldn't happen to people. It is heartbreaking that you are going to have make changes like the ones you mentioned. I hope you find good people in your future. Wish I knew what to say that would help.

I appreciate your compassion, that is good enough for me. Thank you. I think everything we go through is a lesson, and I'm going to be working on myself, so that I can learn how to make healthier choices with friends and avoid narcissistic, manipulative, controlling people...or people who take advantage of you. I found some of my friendships were more transaction based. And while my feelings of anger and betrayal with all of them are valid, I feel some accountability for choosing them. I really want to learn how to attract and choose healthy, non-toxic people.