Married female friend situation

divine1966 · Nov 25, 2021 at 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBubba

Limit. I want her to be someone I've worked with, someone I know.

Then don’t answer the phone if you want limits. Don’t respond to texts and calls at random times. Respond once a week and get off the phone after few minutes. Or you might be more direct and tell her you are busy and you’ll get back to her in few days.

She might not know you have a problem with it as you seem to be available and willing to participate.

Bill3 · Nov 25, 2021 at 10:16 PM

Quote:

Limit. I want her to be someone I've worked with, someone I know.

Not someone you spend many hours on the phone with each week.

If it were completely up to you, roughly how often, and for roughly how many hours, would you want to speak with her by phone each week? Note that zero is an acceptable answer if that is what you want.

sarahsweets · Nov 26, 2021 at 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBubba

I never said that. I said that IF SHE PLAYS ME TO GAIN SYMPATHY, I'LL DITCH HER RIGHT AWAY. Because I dont allow people to play me. Simple as that. Men are just as screwed if they try playing games with me )

I guess my confusion lies in the fact
That you are looking for her to play you ? Like I’m not understanding in the whole gaining sympathy thing or job advancement. If you are uncomfortable and the very first time You wondered if you were being played - you should have stopped long calls, texts, I may have missed it but do you currently work with her? Or was it in the past ?

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BigBubba · Nov 26, 2021 at 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

I guess my confusion lies in the fact
That you are looking for her to play you ? Like I’m not understanding in the whole gaining sympathy thing or job advancement. If you are uncomfortable and the very first time You wondered if you were being played - you should have stopped long calls, texts, I may have missed it but do you currently work with her? Or was it in the past ?

In the recent past. I'm just curious of what is going on - I think thats why I didn't stop this. I had some serious trust issues back in a day so I thought explaining this situation to myself was neccesarry as my goal is to take control of my trust issues.

Molinit · Nov 26, 2021 at 09:32 AM

You can stop this situation from continuing by being very busy when she calls during business hours and answering the work-related question and saying "sorry I have a meeting" and by not answering calls after business hours and only returning the call if the message left indicates it is a dire work-related reason. Boundaries are needed here.

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Molinit Grand Member Member Since Nov 2015 Location: Michigan Posts: 841 8 84 hugs given	Nov 26, 2021 at 09:32 AM #25 You can stop this situation from continuing by being very busy when she calls during business hours and answering the work-related question and saying "sorry I have a meeting" and by not answering calls after business hours and only returning the call if the message left indicates it is a dire work-related reason. Boundaries are needed here.
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