[FridayT]

How exactly would you have approached your partner?

Supposed your partner who had been supporting you and caring for you for years, spent his entire income, time, energy and his sanity on you. Not only that, worked day and night to bring home the paycheck and do all of the household chores while you sit around and do nothing. After having taken care of you in the hospital sacrificing weeks from work which ended up nearly getting you evicted, you’ve both are in deep need of help. What to do?

Kill your partner with a sword?
Tell him that he’s the worst provider?
Comfort him, offer support and have both of you work together?

There’s only one bed available in the apartment, you were asleep in the chair. It’s uncomfortable. You had allowed your partner to sleep in the bed because it’s uncomfortable for him to sleep in the chair too. You now wanted to sleep in the bed. He was just now up and was on his phone or tablet looking at something. What to do?

Yell at him to get out of the bed so you could sleep? Also, ignore that he just tried to greet you in an affectionate way, because f him, right?
Glomp onto him and kiss him and tell him you would like to sleep on the bed, if that is ok?

[Rive.]

There is a difference between supporting someone and enabling someone. One partner killing themselves for another, at the detriment of their needs and boundaries, mental sanity or even emotional well-being is *not* support. This is not a healthy relationship. What Partner A is doing is only teaching Partner B that they can sit back and do nothing. Sorry but the responsibility here goes both ways.

Instead of killing Partner B or yelling at them (after all, Partner A taught Partner B that this behaviour was acceptable anyway): the relationship dynamics need to change. Partner B who is luxuriating in their partner doing everything for them needs to get their butt in gear. And Partner A needs to stop doing every single thing for Partner B.

That is, IF Partner A wants to stay in the relationship.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by FridayT

How exactly would you have approached your partner?

Supposed your partner who had been supporting you and caring for you for years, spent his entire income, time, energy and his sanity on you. Not only that, worked day and night to bring home the paycheck and do all of the household chores while you sit around and do nothing. After having taken care of you in the hospital sacrificing weeks from work which ended up nearly getting you evicted, you’ve both are in deep need of help. What to do?

Kill your partner with a sword?
Tell him that he’s the worst provider?
Comfort him, offer support and have both of you work together?

There’s only one bed available in the apartment, you were asleep in the chair. It’s uncomfortable. You had allowed your partner to sleep in the bed because it’s uncomfortable for him to sleep in the chair too. You now wanted to sleep in the bed. He was just now up and was on his phone or tablet looking at something. What to do?

Yell at him to get out of the bed so you could sleep? Also, ignore that he just tried to greet you in an affectionate way, because f him, right?
Glomp onto him and kiss him and tell him you would like to sleep on the bed, if that is ok?

Support each other emotionally. Could you both shared the bed together?

[FridayT]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

Support each other emotionally. Could you both shared the bed together?

We're now divorced and I am no longer with him. Also, we never share the bed together ever since we met because I'm a snorer and he tosses around in bed anyway.

[BigBubba]

Originally Posted by FridayT

Supposed your partner who had been supporting you and caring for you for years, spent his entire income, time, energy and his sanity on you. Not only that, worked day and night to bring home the paycheck and do all of the household chores while you sit around and do nothing.

This is what you do to get divorce Mistakes men do pretty often when they try waaay too hard. Women dont need servants, they need men. Such a shame.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by BigBubba

This is what you do to get divorce Mistakes men do pretty often when they try waaay too hard. Women dont need servants, they need men. Such a shame.

Funny how you automatically assumed that OP is a hard working man doing too much and the ex is a woman.

OP’s ex, who didn’t treat OP right and refused to pull the weight, is a man

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by FridayT

We're now divorced and I am no longer with him. Also, we never share the bed together ever since we met because I'm a snorer and he tosses around in bed anyway.

I am glad you are done and hopefully can rebuild your life

[FridayT]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Funny how you automatically assumed that OP is a hard working man doing too much and the ex is a woman.

OP’s ex, who didn’t treat OP right and refused to pull the weight, is a man

We're both men. I am the only one who worked, I was the caretaker, provider! I was the one who does the shopping, the cleaning, the cooking, the laundry and more while he never worked, doesn't do anything in the apartment except complain over every tiny little thing and ordered me around. I had to take time off work to care for him for weeks which ended up losing income for the rent and food. I had to ask my parents for help. I didn't like asking them to help because I felt like a lousy son who was begging for help even though I hadn't asked for help for 7 years. My ex husband tried to brain me with a weapon and had called me the worst provider when I told him I have no money for food or rent.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by FridayT

We're both men. I am the only one who worked, I was the caretaker, provider! I was the one who does the shopping, the cleaning, the cooking, the laundry and more while he never worked, doesn't do anything in the apartment except complain over every tiny little thing and ordered me around. I had to take time off work to care for him for weeks which ended up losing income for the rent and food. I had to ask my parents for help. I didn't like asking them to help because I felt like a lousy son who was begging for help even though I hadn't asked for help for 7 years. My ex husband tried to brain me with a weapon and had called me the worst provider when I told him I have no money for food or rent.

I knew you are both guys. I just thought it was funny how it’s automatically assumed that a hard working one is a man and a lazy one is a woman.

I am so glad you are done with this terrible person

[Fuzzybear]

I'm glad you're done with this person.