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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
3 6,991 hugs
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Nov 27, 2021 at 02:24 PM
#1
It’s not anything serious that happened, but I just found it a bit odd. Mum did something I asked her not to in front of me, the other day, but bringing it up earlier tonight just got me a serving of gaslight.
She lied, saying she didn’t do what she did and tried to make out my perception was off. I know the truth, though. I let it slide, at the time it happened and what she said tonight, as I should be moving out soon and I know this behaviour of hers won’t change, but why not just admit it and apologise? She complained enough about my dad behaving like this, and I do try to own my mistakes/poor choices. |
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 Bill3, Discombobulated, Have Hope, unaluna, WovenGalaxy
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Posts: 2,014
10 
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Nov 28, 2021 at 10:45 AM
#2
Unfortunately, for some people it is too 'threatening' to their ego function to admit to a fault or wrongdoing. So, they lie even if they are blatantly caught in the lie. It is not rational but a defensive, emotional reaction..
I see it like a young child who gets caught in a lie, lips smeared with chocolate and denying ever having touched the chocolate! Or you know, a child turning their back on you thinking you can no longer see them because they can't see you. |
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 Bill3, RoxanneToto
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
Posts: 1,692
3 6,991 hugs
given |
Nov 28, 2021 at 01:06 PM
#3
Thank you for your reply, Rive, it makes a lot of sense thinking about it like an emotional response. I know that my T would also say it’s part of her attempts to keep me in the “child” role I served in our (kinda toxic) family dynamics without fully realising, which is something I’m trying to break free of!
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| Bill3
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
8 199 hugs
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Dec 01, 2021 at 06:50 AM
#4
Quote:
Admitting a wrong doing is admitting you're not perfect which is someone a compulsive liar doesn't want to do even though they have no problem calling you out on stuff and may even appear happy when doing so since it makes them feel good., glad you are moving out soon so you don't have to deal with that behavior and I hope to move out soon myself. |
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Bill3
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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