[Usy111]

was in a relationship with a girl about 6 years ago, we were only together for around 4 months and things were going well until I found out she was engaged. One of my friends found out and when I confronted her she denied it but I found out it was true after seeing him on her social media so I deleted her off everything even though she tried messaging me just before her wedding. She eventually ended up getting divorced a year in to her marriage, that was around 4 years ago. Around last year we got back in touch and we got back together as she seemed to have changed a lot, but a while in to the relationship she revealed that she did have quite a few boyfriends before then and that she had slept with someone. I was understanding and things seemed to be going fine after and we even planned for marriage, but then I noticed how much of a rush she was in to get married and how she said she always misses me. But lately we have argued a lot and she has really wound me up to the point where I didn't want to speak to her, she knew I wanted my space but to get my attention she ended up blocking me off everything. When I asked why she blocked me she said she didn't want me to have access to her if I can't commit to her, even though she has a lot of random guys on there! She eventually unblocked me. My own family wasn't happy about my relationship as my mother wasn't keen on her but I eventually persuaded her to accept (I realise now how stupid I was). A few months later, I noticed her being open again about other guys but instead of saying anything I stayed quiet. Because there was a guy that she used to talk to that got in touch with her, he was actually a married man so I don't know why he was reaching out to her but what bothered me the most was that she would complain about him getting in touch but she never blocked him to stop him from getting in touch with her, it felt as though she liked the attention. When she asked why I was quiet, she insisted that I can talk to her about anything so I told her that I wasn't happy with how open she is with other guys, she then went on to say how she didn't want to be with someone that is insecure as her ex husband was the same. I was quite annoyed at this point as she has said herself in the past that she is insecure too and she always had mood swings and emotional issues due to her endometriosis which I was always understanding of, it hurt that she couldn't be understanding of my mental health. So then she went on to complain about me not committing to her, at this point I had enough of it and said that if she wants to end it she should do it now so she went ahead and blocked me off social media. She didn't block my number but now I have blocked hers so she can't get in touch with me. I told my mother that we had broken up so she shouldn't get in touch with her mother to sort wedding arrangements, at that point my mom informed me that she rang her mom a couple of weeks ago but she said that she was busy and and that she would ring back later which she never did. I was tempted to unblock her and have a go at her for saying that I was the reason things weren't progressing. But I though forget it, I no longer want anything to do with her anymore. Its been over a month since she blocked me, I have missed her a lot and was tempted to try to get in touch with her. Im hurting so bad but I am trying to get in touch with her but I know deep down there's no point. I noticed today that she has now unblocked me on social media. I don't get why she would unblock me especially when she was the one to cut me off first. What should I do?

[Yaowen]

What a confusing and distressing situation. The whole thing must be a crushing burden to bear. Wish I knew what to say that would help.

[divine1966]

Was this all online ordeal or actual in person relationship, if you don’t mind me asking? It seems like there’s a lot of “blocking and getting in touch” but no mention of actually doing anything together?

[Rive.]

Im hurting so bad but I am trying to get in touch with her

Why? Why would you do that to yourself?

[*Beth*]

I'll be honest...it's very difficult for me to read your post because it has no paragraph breaks. Too hard on my eyes.

[Bill3]

She has given you every reason to stay away from her. She lied to you about being engaged and her behavior towards you has not changed in the many years since then.

My advice is to permanently block her and never get in touch with her again.

[Have Hope]

No one should get married under such circumstances. She seems needy and wants a lot of attention from men. To block you because you won't commit? How immature. She also cannot be trusted because she was engaged in the beginning without telling you about it. If she can do that once, she can easily do it again. Keep her blocked and do not pursue this relationship. It's an immature relationship and is unhealthy. Let her go and try to move on from this. Take it as a lesson learned.

[RoxanneToto]

Mixed messages are actually one message - stay/run away. Cheaters rarely ever change, they just learn to hide it better. You’re apparently still of use to her, but it’s in your own best interests to walk away and go no contact. It will feel like a wrench to you, but it’s much better than being with someone you love but is disrespectful, gives you no reason to trust them but gets angry that you don’t.

[Buffy01]

Originally Posted by Usy111

was in a relationship with a girl about 6 years ago, we were only together for around 4 months and things were going well until I found out she was engaged. One of my friends found out and when I confronted her she denied it but I found out it was true after seeing him on her social media so I deleted her off everything even though she tried messaging me just before her wedding. She eventually ended up getting divorced a year in to her marriage, that was around 4 years ago. Around last year we got back in touch and we got back together as she seemed to have changed a lot, but a while in to the relationship she revealed that she did have quite a few boyfriends before then and that she had slept with someone. I was understanding and things seemed to be going fine after and we even planned for marriage, but then I noticed how much of a rush she was in to get married and how she said she always misses me. But lately we have argued a lot and she has really wound me up to the point where I didn't want to speak to her, she knew I wanted my space but to get my attention she ended up blocking me off everything. When I asked why she blocked me she said she didn't want me to have access to her if I can't commit to her, even though she has a lot of random guys on there! She eventually unblocked me. My own family wasn't happy about my relationship as my mother wasn't keen on her but I eventually persuaded her to accept (I realise now how stupid I was). A few months later, I noticed her being open again about other guys but instead of saying anything I stayed quiet. Because there was a guy that she used to talk to that got in touch with her, he was actually a married man so I don't know why he was reaching out to her but what bothered me the most was that she would complain about him getting in touch but she never blocked him to stop him from getting in touch with her, it felt as though she liked the attention. When she asked why I was quiet, she insisted that I can talk to her about anything so I told her that I wasn't happy with how open she is with other guys, she then went on to say how she didn't want to be with someone that is insecure as her ex husband was the same. I was quite annoyed at this point as she has said herself in the past that she is insecure too and she always had mood swings and emotional issues due to her endometriosis which I was always understanding of, it hurt that she couldn't be understanding of my mental health. So then she went on to complain about me not committing to her, at this point I had enough of it and said that if she wants to end it she should do it now so she went ahead and blocked me off social media. She didn't block my number but now I have blocked hers so she can't get in touch with me. I told my mother that we had broken up so she shouldn't get in touch with her mother to sort wedding arrangements, at that point my mom informed me that she rang her mom a couple of weeks ago but she said that she was busy and and that she would ring back later which she never did. I was tempted to unblock her and have a go at her for saying that I was the reason things weren't progressing. But I though forget it, I no longer want anything to do with her anymore. Its been over a month since she blocked me, I have missed her a lot and was tempted to try to get in touch with her. Im hurting so bad but I am trying to get in touch with her but I know deep down there's no point. I noticed today that she has now unblocked me on social media. I don't get why she would unblock me especially when she was the one to cut me off first. What should I do?

Wow! It sounds like she is very confused about what she wants in life and is playing with your emotions. I would suggest that you get into touch with a therapist who can help you heal from the emotional pain she has cause you. They say that once a cheater is always a cheater. You weren’t wrong in breaking up with her and who knows what she told her mom. It sounds like she been cheating on you the whole time. Take it easy on yourself.

[Nammu]

Keep her blocked and don’t communicate with her. Don’t look to see if she has you blocked just ignore her. Move on with your life. The suggestion to see a therapist is a good one. Work on you and being your own person so you don’t fall for this again.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Bill3

She has given you every reason to stay away from her. She lied to you about being engaged and her behavior towards you has not changed in the many years since then.

My advice is to permanently block her and never get in touch with her again.

Good post