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BigBubba
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Default Jan 08, 2022 at 06:10 AM
  #1
Is it normal for people not to text back once we're technically "done"? I've exchanged few messages with female coworkers and I feel ignored. Though I used to have problem with texting with women in general. In all cases we've barely spoken with each other outside of work. I didn't have any intentions rather than just putting in a good word after we've finished our project.

Both parties are in their late twenties (me and coworker). The exchange went like this:

Quote:
Me: Hey, you. Thanks for coming yesterday (afterparty). How did you like the end result? (of the project we've finished).

Her #1: Thanks for inviting me. I loved it. It's gonna be awesome if you don't add wrinkles to their faces haha (the models looked too clean, according to some people).

Me: Nah, they looked great and it stays as is. Thanks for your input.

Her #1: Thank you so much.

Me: If there is anything on your mind when it comes to things we could fix or change, let me know. After so much time spent on this I don't see things clearly anymore.

And radio silence.

The conversation #2:
Quote:
Me: Hey, thanks for coming. The project looks good, according to people I've spoken to. Your name came up - lots of good words. Some folks pointed out few things they would change. I'll look into it.

#2: I'm glad. Comments are important, but I would focus on pros (professionals). They can see things that random folks won't. And the success of the project is in pros' hands.

Me: Some of them were pros. But I'm glad random folks liked it, after all they are the ones who will pay for the product haha
The end.
Am I overthinking this or do they don't wanna talk to me?

EDIT: Oh, and I'm not their boss. I'm higher than they are in the food chain but only in this one project.
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Default Jan 08, 2022 at 06:35 AM
  #2
Personally, your last texts in those conversations seemed like a reasonable end to the conversation to me. In the first one, you told her to text you if she had any ideas. Maybe she doesn't have any ideas, so doesn't feel the need to text.

And in the second one you weren't asking a question or anything that I would think needs a response.

Anyway, that's how it looks to me. I won't speculate on whether these women do or do not want to talk to you, as I can't read minds.
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Default Jan 08, 2022 at 07:15 AM
  #3
It looked like the end of conversations for me in both cases.

At some point all conversations stop or texting chain will go on forever
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Default Jan 08, 2022 at 10:49 AM
  #4
I agree with the others. I would add that the way they spoke to you sounds completely reasonable, not in any way suggesting to me that they don't want to speak with you.
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Default Jan 08, 2022 at 11:51 AM
  #5
Both are clear endings of conversations. If someone from work texts me, we discuss the work issue and that is the end, and actually unless it's an emergency, I don't want anyone texting me on my off time. If this is normal at your company, continue on, but I prefer email so I don't feel I need to respond immediately.
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Default Jan 08, 2022 at 01:04 PM
  #6
I text with several co workers but conversations always drop until next time something comes up and it might resume in the future
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Default Jan 08, 2022 at 01:50 PM
  #7
Thank you, everybody. I know this might seem silly, but it's pretty big to me. Your POV helped me a lot. Thank you.
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Default Jan 08, 2022 at 04:02 PM
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Not silly! Communication could be confusing and unclear. And it helps to hear other people’s perspectives
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Default Jan 08, 2022 at 07:35 PM
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Not silly @BigBubba

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Default Jan 08, 2022 at 08:13 PM
  #10
You gotta find other ways of meeting chicks. Meetup is still doing zoom n stuff - do you belong to any tech orgs that have meetings? Altho two techies getting together sometimes creates an aspie kid. Maybe join a running group or a gym.
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Default Jan 09, 2022 at 03:51 AM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
You gotta find other ways of meeting chicks. Meetup is still doing zoom n stuff - do you belong to any tech orgs that have meetings? Altho two techies getting together sometimes creates an aspie kid. Maybe join a running group or a gym.
I wasn't trying to meet those two. I'm their supervisor on daily basic, so I'd have to be crazy to go down that road. And I don't need help with meeting women, I'm doing fine. Thank you.
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