partner annoying me

pinkvilla · Jan 22, 2022 at 06:10 AM

My partner tries to take meetings right in the middle of the living room instead of in his office, tries to switch on loud appliances at mornings .I have specifically told him that these things annoy me a lot and ruins my mood. I would prefer him take the meetings in his office and turn on the appliances in the evening time,

He seems to not take it seriously and thinks I am being fussy.Genuinely these things ruin my day and I have told him that. I have some ocd and anxiety issues. I don't know what to do other than move out for these silly reasons. The fact that he does it inspite of him knowing that it bothers me,infuriates me inside. He acts like nothing has happened and comes up with a reason like it was just the normal thing to do. Any suggestions on how to handle this behaviour?

Marie123 · Jan 22, 2022 at 07:10 AM

I would say to him: Why do you persist in doing something that you know upsets me? Maybe he wants to aggravate you for some reason

Mendingmysoul · Jan 22, 2022 at 03:29 PM

Do you have heightened sensitivity to sounds ? I asked because I have. When requested to turn down noises a notch, others have always told me noises they were making were normal or I was just overreacting. Later I found out I am more sensitive to sounds.Specially in certain times of a day.
In any case your partner should be more understanding of you.

Crazy Hitch · Jan 24, 2022 at 03:37 AM

Which appliances is he using in the morning? Perhaps meet him half way and if it’s something like him throwing in a load of laundry maybe you put it on in the evening for him?

If he’s taking a phone call in the lounge at the spur of the moment can you move to a different room?

The concerning thing for me is that you’ve stated that these are enough to make you want to move out which raises red flags for me suggesting that the issue is a lot deeper than this is not typically things that would make or break a relationship. I think there’s more to it than that.

sarahsweets · Jan 24, 2022 at 06:12 AM

I can’t imagine wanting to move out due to something like that although I don’t wanna invalidate how annoying it is. It is annoying that he’s doing it anyway. But I don’t think I can wrap my head around how much anger you have.

RoxanneToto · 07:57 AM

It doesn’t sound like he’s respecting your wishes, and this is likely what you’re angry about, understandably.
He doesn’t have to understand exactly how what he does affects you, to understand that he should try and meet you in the middle and find workable compromises. You spoke up, and seem to have been ignored.
I mean, in theory he can take a call anywhere in the house, but!! he should take them elsewhere. If I were in business, I wouldn’t take calls in front of people I lived with. It’s rude, at best, and what if some of it is meant to be confidential? I don’t know what his business is, but he should still consider that.
Agree it could be you’re more sensitive to noise, but there again, your husband should be meeting you halfway. If these appliances have to run while you’re up, try and find a different time to put them on, perhaps.

Rive. · Jan 25, 2022 at 08:40 AM

He is very inconsiderate to say the least. You ask him and he ignores your needs and wishes.

Either set firmer boundaries or yes, moving out (i.e. you setting former boundaries) might make him realise this is no way to treat a partner. Maybe then, he might come back to his senses and be sensitive to your needs.

Mendingmysoul · Jan 25, 2022 at 02:42 PM

He knows,and he still does it.Looks like he is disrespectful of your needs.That reminded me of one of my uncle.He knew loud noises irritated me and used to play rock band loud very early in the mornings while we got together during holidays.It was so loud that the walls used to shake.I tried hard not to complain because nobody had complained. I always wondered if it was intentional on his part.Later I simply stopped visiting them.In your case it's your partner. I understand how you feel.Hugs.

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Marie123 Veteran Member Member Since Jan 2011 Posts: 574 13 29 hugs given	Jan 22, 2022 at 07:10 AM #2 I would say to him: Why do you persist in doing something that you know upsets me? Maybe he wants to aggravate you for some reason
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Mendingmysoul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 907 4 807 hugs given	Jan 22, 2022 at 03:29 PM #3 Do you have heightened sensitivity to sounds ? I asked because I have. When requested to turn down noises a notch, others have always told me noises they were making were normal or I was just overreacting. Later I found out I am more sensitive to sounds.Specially in certain times of a day. In any case your partner should be more understanding of you.
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sarahsweets Threadtastic Postaholic Member Since Dec 2018 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!) 5 192 hugs given	Jan 24, 2022 at 06:12 AM #5 I can’t imagine wanting to move out due to something like that although I don’t wanna invalidate how annoying it is. It is annoying that he’s doing it anyway. But I don’t think I can wrap my head around how much anger you have. __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society.
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Rive. Magnate Member Since Sep 2013 Posts: 2,011 10	Jan 25, 2022 at 08:40 AM #7 He is very inconsiderate to say the least. You ask him and he ignores your needs and wishes. Either set firmer boundaries or yes, moving out (i.e. you setting former boundaries) might make him realise this is no way to treat a partner. Maybe then, he might come back to his senses and be sensitive to your needs.
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