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Default Feb 06, 2022 at 04:42 AM
  #1
Hi,

I'm trying to go home to the USA. I decided to go back to take care of my mom. I feel ok about this. I was having dreams about her taking care of me still. So, I felt bad. I hope I can help her. She is disabled and hard of hearing now. I have to take her to her doctor's appointments. So, I have a lot to do. I'm also going to try to work as a peer counselor to get myself out of the house once in a while. I am ok overall with my situation. I thought my brother was doing a bad job taking care of my parents but he is doing his best it seems. He is overwhelmed and needs help. Thus, I decided to go home. I am looking forward to seeing my parents again. I know they are not in good shape but no matter what we are family.
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Default Feb 06, 2022 at 05:51 AM
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Good for you and I hope your brother will start to feel less overwhelmed by things good luck with the peer counselling!
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Default Feb 06, 2022 at 08:26 AM
  #3
Good plan. Helping one’s parents in old age is an honorable thing. “We are family” it says it all. Now there will be two of you helping them and hopefully offering each other some type of support .

Good luck with your return home.
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Default Feb 07, 2022 at 12:41 PM
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Good luck with your move and remember to look after yourself too.

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Default Feb 12, 2022 at 06:15 AM
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Well, my parents don't want me to go home. So, I will stay here. They disowned me. They don't want me to ever go back to the USA to them. So, I will stick it out here. I quit my job since my mother said she would help me though. Oh well, she broke her promise again to me. This is not the first time. Also, I keep asking my brother to allow me to go home to see my parents. He keeps saying that he needs permission from my mother to do so. It sounds like an insane asylum at home that I feel better staying here by myself.
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Default Feb 12, 2022 at 04:35 PM
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Default Aug 05, 2022 at 11:38 AM
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I came home to the USA to check on my mother and returned without their knowledge. My mother has lost about 30 pounds and had not been to a doctor for almost two years. So, I called 911 and the paramedics took her to the hospital. She is demented unfortunately now. She puts money in the trash and cannot remember where she put things. I am here at home but she keeps saying I'm sick, not her. The situation is tragic but my father and brother ignored her medical care until I returned. I was furious for awhile but am now ok with her condition since my brother is now taking her to the doctor. If I had not returned, she would have died I believe. It is sad but I am happy I returned. Also, I thought something was odd that she would say one thing then another thing that opposed it. My father and brother are too busy with work. However, for them to ignore her care is too diabolical. So, I'm glad I returned.
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Default Aug 05, 2022 at 01:46 PM
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I'm sorry you are dealing with this. At least now she is getting medical attention.

You are a nicer person than me. My mother also has dementia and I live abroad. She's always been a piece of work and made it clear she does not like me as a person. Like you, she essentially disowned me some years before her diagnosis, putting the responsibility of "dealing with the problem child" (me) on to my dad. I have an aunt pressuring to go to the US to visit her, but I'm not budging. My father and my sister, who is her favorite, can deal with her.
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