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Default May 12, 2022 at 10:42 AM
  #41
Guess I have always taken the approach that if a Holiday doesn't apply to me or my situation that I just ignore it & don't let it bother me one way or the other. Saves a lot of personal grief. I feel good that others do have family to celebrate with but I also appreciate my own situation with a mom who died years ago & my daughter lives 1000 miles away and neither of us have money to waste on traveling. Life is what it is & we can be thankful for things we do have vs bemoaning what we don't have

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Default May 12, 2022 at 12:57 PM
  #42
I certainly was not an angel mom, I battled severe mental illness yet my daughter has forgiven me and we have an excellent relationship. My own mother never received help for her problems and was pretty selfish but all three of us have a good relationship with her. I think eskies suggestion is an excellent one. Bitterness doesn’t help one live a happy life.

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Unhappy May 12, 2022 at 01:34 PM
  #43
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Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
Guess I have always taken the approach that if a Holiday doesn't apply to me or my situation that I just ignore it & don't let it bother me one way or the other. Saves a lot of personal grief. I feel good that others do have family to celebrate with but I also appreciate my own situation with a mom who died years ago & my daughter lives 1000 miles away and neither of us have money to waste on traveling. Life is what it is & we can be thankful for things we do have vs bemoaning what we don't have
It's hard to "just ignore" anything if you're constantly bombarded with reminders everywhere. Store displays, random people saying "Happy _____", TV commercials, billboards, signs on bustops, signs on buses, "well-meaning" friends, weather forecast, local headlines, calendar icons on my phone, etc. One would have to barricade inside and not to listen to or watch anything at all, except one's own music. And a "holiday" can last days or weeks now. There's no going out and "just ignoring" it. Other option is to not go out.

Don't call your dentist to make an appointment, don't order takeout to be delivered, don't pick up your package at the post office, etc. etc. You'll be greeted with "Happy____".

Yes life is what it is----which is unpredictable at best. Be "grateful" and then have that rug pulled out from under you too. It happened many times. Walk a mile in someone's shoes first.....walk that mile.

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Mothers  who  weren't  so  "angelic"

Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here.


Mothers  who  weren't  so  "angelic"

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Last edited by nonightowl; May 12, 2022 at 03:07 PM..
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Default May 12, 2022 at 02:05 PM
  #44
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It's hard to "just ignore" anything if you're constantly bombarded with reminders everywhere. Store displays, random people saying "Happy _____", TV commercials, billboards, signs on bustops, signs on buses, "well-meaning" friends, weather forecast, local headlines, calendar icons on my phone, etc. One would have to barricade inside and not to listen to or watch anything at all, except one's own music. And a "holiday" can last days or weeks now. There's no going out and "just ignoring" it. Other option is to not go out.

Yes life is what it is----which is unpredictable at best. Be "grateful" and then have thatrug pulled out from under you too. It happened many times. Walk a mile in someone's shoes first.....walk that mile.
I have walked in those shoes but we each have a different way of dealing with the walk.

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Unhappy May 12, 2022 at 02:11 PM
  #45
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I have walked in those shoes but we each have a different way of dealing with the walk.
My point. That's what life is too: People who don't deal with things the same and maybe forced gratitude or positivity isn't for them. Glad you have family but no amount of gratitude or positivity is going to bring back anyone or change anything.

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Mothers  who  weren't  so  "angelic"

Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here.


Mothers  who  weren't  so  "angelic"

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Default May 12, 2022 at 03:10 PM
  #46
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My point. That's what life is too: People who don't deal with things the same and maybe forced gratitude or positivity isn't for them. Glad you have family but no amount of gratitude or positivity is going to bring back anyone or change anything.
No one said it will but I am not going to change my positive outlook or what I do to appease those who don't have it.

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Unhappy May 14, 2022 at 10:51 AM
  #47
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No one said it will but I am not going to change my outlook or what I do to appease those who don't have it.
Same...on outlook.

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Mothers  who  weren't  so  "angelic"

Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here.


Mothers  who  weren't  so  "angelic"

"Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time."
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Default May 15, 2022 at 07:03 PM
  #48
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Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
Guess I have always taken the approach that if a Holiday doesn't apply to me or my situation that I just ignore it & don't let it bother me one way or the other. Saves a lot of personal grief. I feel good that others do have family to celebrate with but I also appreciate my own situation with a mom who died years ago & my daughter lives 1000 miles away and neither of us have money to waste on traveling. Life is what it is & we can be thankful for things we do have vs bemoaning what we don't have
I’m one of yours. Or even more radical. I celebrate when and what I feel like or have something to celebrate. I’m not bothered by people celebrating certain things on certain day but I can’t care less.
It was different when I was an adolescent and a young adult, I felt very bad because of I somehow felt forced to celebrate things when I had a social phobia I couldn’t handle it even a bit. It was a torture.
Now, I can’t care less.
Anyway, I can understand who and how other people may feel triggered.

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Default May 15, 2022 at 07:06 PM
  #49
I don’t want a day of the woman. I want equality of rights and go on the progress to change stereotypes. Day after day. Every single day in the year.

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Default May 16, 2022 at 03:21 AM
  #50
There is far too much commercialism.

We now seem to have grandparents day, teachers day, pets day. No one's come up with the idea of single persons day (yet!). All excuses to make money out of gullible people...

There's still much to be done for women's equality. Not only due to attitude but perception, cultural differences, ability. Yes, there are more and more women with careers in male dominated sectors (airline pilots, military, science, medicine), but there's still a long way to go. Sadly, we've had two female prime ministers here in the UK and neither did anything notable for women.

Unfortunately, it's sometimes too difficult for mothers to realise that their daughters do not want to be an instant replica of them. Although she's happier towards me now, because I've taken her clothes shopping, I know my mother is plotting the next put down where I'm concerned.
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Unhappy May 16, 2022 at 05:56 PM
  #51
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There is far too much commercialism.

We now seem to have grandparents day, teachers day, pets day. No one's come up with the idea of single persons day (yet!). All excuses to make money out of gullible people...

There's still much to be done for women's equality. Not only due to attitude but perception, cultural differences, ability. Yes, there are more and more women with careers in male dominated sectors (airline pilots, military, science, medicine), but there's still a long way to go. Sadly, we've had two female prime ministers here in the UK and neither did anything notable for women.

Unfortunately, it's sometimes too difficult for mothers to realise that their daughters do not want to be an instant replica of them. Although she's happier towards me now, because I've taken her clothes shopping, I know my mother is plotting the next put down where I'm concerned.
SO true.....even the founder of Mother's Day was appalled at how commercialized it got. You're right about how there is not single person's day but everything else exists. The US is a very family or couples oriented culture.

How many times do you hear "Tickets for two" or "Dinner for two" like everybody is part of a couple. And all I hear is "feeding families" like single people don't eat. We have one income, if any.

My gym has signs out, "Bring your friends and family in for a free workout with a trainer" and stuff like that. One time there was a guy handing out passes and when he said that, I told him I don't have any friends or family. The look on his face was priceless. And he was speechless.

"Families are hurting." So are single people. Everybody is, with all these high prices.

You're right how some mothers try to live out their dreams via their daughter(s). And I agree with everything you said about women's rights and opportunities. They seem to really be under assault here in the US, especially these days.

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Mothers  who  weren't  so  "angelic"

Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here.


Mothers  who  weren't  so  "angelic"

"Okay, enough photos. I'm a very BUSY Business Kitty, so make an appointment next time."
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Default May 17, 2022 at 06:29 AM
  #52
Not all people who spend money on those days are gullible....some just take a chance on that date to honor their mom or dad cause they live far away throughout the year.

Hmmmm, we hate people generalizing about mental illness, yet we think it is OK to do it about others?

What is wrong with a family oriented society? I prefer it to what this country is turning into even after growing up in a very dysfunctional family & being in my own dysfunctional family for 33 years.

I personally prefer my single life now but I as a single socialize with both families & singles. I do my thing & I don't waste my time letting external crap effect my life of make me miserable.

As for women's rights.....I have always had equal rights as a female since I was a kid in the 50's long before it was a "thing". I had every right I went after. They weren't always just handed to me, but if I was willing to go after them, they were there & still are. That was both in the city & farming country. Lol....there are people I don't see as equals until they PROVE that they are as far as capabilities but they are given a chance. People who do crappy work I hire them to do will never be hired again, male or female.

I just don't see the inequality around me, so not sure what you all are seeing?

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Default May 17, 2022 at 12:39 PM
  #53
My parents have a lot of faux daughters and sons.They all wish my parents on father's or mother's day.I usually don't. But when ever I call after those days,my parents never miss a chance to tell me how many people have called them to wish mother's or father's day. Well,they put up the facade of nice human beings, almost angelic to those faux daughters and sons. The more those people call and wish,the more perks they get.Extended family and others have figured that out a long time ago.More perks to those who scapegoats me.I just wish they were just human towards me.
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Default May 22, 2022 at 07:29 PM
  #54
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Not all people who spend money on those days are gullible....some just take a chance on that date to honor their mom or dad cause they live far away throughout the year.

Hmmmm, we hate people generalizing about mental illness, yet we think it is OK to do it about others?

What is wrong with a family oriented society? I prefer it to what this country is turning into even after growing up in a very dysfunctional family & being in my own dysfunctional family for 33 years.

I personally prefer my single life now but I as a single socialize with both families & singles. I do my thing & I don't waste my time letting external crap effect my life of make me miserable.

As for women's rights.....I have always had equal rights as a female since I was a kid in the 50's long before it was a "thing". I had every right I went after. They weren't always just handed to me, but if I was willing to go after them, they were there & still are. That was both in the city & farming country. Lol....there are people I don't see as equals until they PROVE that they are as far as capabilities but they are given a chance. People who do crappy work I hire them to do will never be hired again, male or female.

I just don't see the inequality around me, so not sure what you all are seeing?
This is exactly the problem, differences between women and men, are still there but in a subtle way.
There are many stupid commentaries a woman has to face because they are not said to a guy but a woman.
If a woman is a victim of a rape or molestation, it’s always considered all characteristic surrounding this fact: Where she was, what she was wearing? what time she was there? Some politicians (the worst among the worst even dare to ask these stupid questions on public)
A woman have to take in all the sights from men and any stupid thing they want to tell them.

I was approach from behind and I got scared only because a guy got horny. Pick up a ****ing melon and f@ck it.

Do you see the picture of females in the media and in which way they are used following a stereotype and the used made of masculinity, again following a stereotype in the mass media?

This is the problem. It’s so subtle that it’s not easy to be perceived but still is present around.

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Default May 22, 2022 at 07:56 PM
  #55
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This is exactly the problem, differences between women and men, are still there but in a subtle way.
There are many stupid commentaries a woman has to face because they are not said to a guy but a woman.
If a woman is a victim of a rape or molestation, it’s always considered all characteristic surrounding this fact: Where she was, what she was wearing? what time she was there? Some politicians (the worst among the worst even dare to ask these stupid questions on public)
A woman have to take in all the sights from men and any stupid thing they want to tell them.

I was approach from behind and I got scared only because a guy got horny. Pick up a ****ing melon and f@ck it.

Do you see the picture of females in the media and in which way they are used following a stereotype and the used made of masculinity, again following a stereotype in the mass media?

This is the problem. It’s so subtle that it’s not easy to be perceived but still is present around.
Exactly why I believe in the concealed carry training & qualification or self defense classes for women. At least then they have a fighting chance against the slimeballs in this world....but the slimeballs are NOT the majority of men out there & the good ones should NOT BE VILIFIED

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Default May 25, 2022 at 04:56 PM
  #56
Very much agree! I see how some men are also having a bad time because of the stereotypes that are supposed for men and women.
I’m totally with you.

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