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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,092
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#161
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Things with my husband have been drastically different than during our first two years of marriage. He has made great strides in changing the behaviors that were abusive, toxic and harmful. I feel like I have a very different person now that I am married too. We had a very bad day a couple of months ago and that blew things up for me, causing me to question the relationship all over again, but it's calmed down since then and it's been smooth sailing. A part of me is still wondering when the other shoe will drop, though. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Bill3
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Bill3
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,092
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,628 hugs
given |
#162
My husband's mother is visiting us, and has been in town since the day my father died. I feel that my mother also needs my company, and I am torn between the two. I did not join my husband and his mom for dinner last night because his mother wasn't feeling well, so my husband brought her dinner to the hotel and ate dinner with her there while I stayed at home.
This morning I announced to my husband that I will be joining my own mother for dinner this eve after work. He seemed surprised as well as dismayed and asked, "so you're not going to come with us to Bernard's?" Bernard's is his mother's favorite local Chinese restaurant. I said no, and almost felt guilty for it. But I should not feel guilty for needing time as well with my own family, even while my husband's mother is visiting. My father just died and I am grieving. I cannot spend every night with my husband's mom, when my own mother needs me too. And, I need my family around me as well right now. My husband should be able to understand this. These are difficult times for sure. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Starlingflock
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,376
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9 1,277 hugs
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#163
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,092
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,628 hugs
given |
#164
Quote:
It's my husband's 50th bday on Monday, and we're going out to a very nice restaurant with his mom, former nanny and best male friend. My mother was also invited, but she has declined because of her covid concerns. So, I just need to spend time with mom at her home, or doing something else that does not involve a public restaurant. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Bill3
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Posts: 2,014
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#165
You are right. Your mom (and you) are the priority. Your husband ought to understand that.
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,092
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,628 hugs
given |
#166
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Bill3
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,376
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given |
#167
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UnawareBS
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