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Old Today, 12:32 PM   #101
Starlingflock
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It really bothers me that he said Iím a waste of breath. That means someoneís life doesnít matter. I wonder if he has violent thoughts about me. He did go inpatient for those types of thoughts.

I told him this morning itís makes me very uncomfortable that he said that to me. He was very dismissive acting like im being ridiculous. Then Iím trying to explain how thatís a bad comment. As if itís not obvious!! I said if he is having violent thoughts I want him to get help and I donít want to be in a dangerous situation.

Iíve suspected that he thinks making me a cup of coffee or mowing the lawn makes up for everything else. I was right. He said to convince me that Iím ridiculous ďthe first thing I did this morning is make you a cup of coffee.Ē

I said emphatically ďthat doesnít make up for it! That doesnít make up for it!Ē

He continued out the door to buy cheese.

He starts a new job next week (where heíll make quite a bit more money than me), so I think he is more full of himself than usual, which displays as aggression.
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Old Today, 02:59 PM   #102
Open Eyes
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Ok so let him work and get paid well, hope he can keep this job so he can pay bills. Separate yourself from him and donít poke the bear as it just leads to him saying more bad things.

When someone is toxic, they will put you down when you call them out if you pay attention any positives are really for his own ego and not because he actually cares.

Itís time to accept that he is not going to be the person who genuinely cares about and respects you.

Actually a lot of divorces take place in you age group of early forties. You deserve some happiness in your life.

Last edited by Open Eyes; Today at 03:12 PM..
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Old Today, 03:46 PM   #103
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
Ok so let him work and get paid well, hope he can keep this job so he can pay bills. Separate yourself from him and donít poke the bear as it just leads to him saying more bad things.

When someone is toxic, they will put you down when you call them out if you pay attention any positives are really for his own ego and not because he actually cares.

Itís time to accept that he is not going to be the person who genuinely cares about and respects you.

Actually a lot of divorces take place in you age group of early forties. You deserve some happiness in your life.
Thank you. I avoid him as much as possible.
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Old Today, 04:38 PM   #104
Open Eyes
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As you start seeing the reality you will experience anger. There will be times you will be tempted to call him out more and all you will be doing is poking the bear.

People who depend on drugs tend to have narcissistic traits where they are looking for some way to fill a void in themselves. It can get so they will do anything to fill that void including playing the victim. They often have trouble with employment going from one job to another. When they canít perform or have things go their way they end up causing problems at work and end up losing their job. From what you share your husband has these patterns that cause problems with his work. Yet he exhibits these same patterns with you.

Can you see this?
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