Toxic sibling

Just came back from a trip, to my sisters. My youngest sister also flew in. We have always gotten along with the exception of two fights in our adulthood. I suffer from anxiety, and she knows this. She also knows what a tough time I have had in relationships in regards to being treated fairly. She showed up with my two Nieces and it seemed fine. She started by calling me “Auntie # 2” to my other sisters two year old. This may seem petty, but I am pretty sure she did it to taunt me or get a reaction. Throughout the entire 4 days I noticed little things she was doing. The snickering behind my back to my oldest niece which I ignored. The telling me to stop talking because she is on the phone which I also ignored. The negative comments because me & my other sister decided to put makeup on before going to swim with the kids. I responded to each their own, because of her negativity. We even went out the night before we left & everything was fine.

She went behind my back and told my sister what time we would leave which is an hour later than we agreed on. When I confronted her, she screamed at me and said she told me last night & I agreed to take an Uber! I know for a fact that she’s either lying or delusional or gaslighting. Then when she says to my sister that she told mr that and I intervened she says “ I wasn’t talking to you”!! And she screamed at me ( I’m 13 years older) In front of both of my nieces. Like who the hell does she think she is talking to me like that?? And she will convince herself she has nothing to apologize for. This is why my other sister ignored her for 6 months..and she tried to give a backhanded apology to her. So she takes no responsibility at all. She triggered my anxiety and my heart was racing and I couldn’t even defend myself Bc I was not calm..and she screamed again at me after I told my other sister were leaving earlier, and that (my other sister) is being nasty..she then screams downstairs again telling me she wasn’t talking to me on which I responded that I have freedom of speech but should have told her to stfu! At the airport my other sister hugged me goodbye, and my youngest sister did like nothing happened. So basically I am not going to be in contact with her until she sees her wrong doing. She thinks once the dust settles she will text me and then act like the victim, and probably say I was yelling, or being aggressive or try to convince me that I agreed to take an Uber. Not gonna happen. I’m calling her out on her behavior, and if she tries to rationalize it, Convo over. Im not perfect but I will not tolerate being treated this way by ANYONE. She has a right to feel upset, annoyed, whatever. But what she doesn’t have a right to do is to raise her voice at me, disrespect me, abuse me or talk down to me. She’s toxic for real. Has anyone experienced this?? I’ve worked so hard with my therapist to control my anxiety, and not let people mistreat me or cross boundaries.

My brother likes to yell at everyone, but I have actually noticed he doesn't really do it to me anymore. Because I won't put up with it. I'll walk out of the room. And I also rarely see him. The last time I saw him was Christmas 2019 before Covid. He has always treated everyone badly, but the rest of the family allows it. I don't.

I think it's good that you are enforcing a boundary with your sister.

I did leave the room the first time, but 2nd time I replied. It’s going to be a while before I agree to see her again. My son wants to see his cousin (her daughter) but I’ll have to wait until she goes to my parents, or to my sisters or I’ll go for his sake & stay at a hotel. I’m not staying with her.

You did not chose sister to be sibling. You no need to like her. You can forget she exist

Update: I have not spoken to my sister in 10 days. I am not expecting her to get on her hands & knees, but I do expect her to take responsibility for her behavior. And I’m not going to hear her excuses “I wasn’t talking to you” or try to gaslight me with “you agreed the night before” when I was drunk?? I very specifically remember telling her we have to leave by a certain time & I never said I would take a car. So, regardless I’m not going to be a verbal punching bag. She tried to open communication up by replying to my FB post but I was really vague.

Good thread topic and word: Toxic.

I haven't spoken to or seen my "brother" in 3 years. (Prior to this it was DECADES) He stabbed me in the back regarding a legal matter over a living trust, and now I have to find my own lawyer. He's lied to and manipulated me in the past, as well as screaming and yelling at me on the phone and hanging up on me.

Before all this crap, I did try twice to repair this so-called relationship and just got a hostile response BOTH TIMES. I'm not doing it again. So much for "family". Means nothing to him.

It's so dysfunctional, not even Hollywood could make up this stuff. Somebody who is supposed to be "family" is SO EVIL I just don't get it. We come from the same household yet he's just a psychopath.

P.S. I like your username. Heading to the gym later.