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Robjam
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Member Since: May 2022
Location: Ireland
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Default May 14, 2022 at 10:55 PM
  #1
Hi all,

Im feeling alone right now. My relationship is in poor shape and I seem to be the reason always. Ive an illness that i dont let control or limit me but i think my relationship around it is weird. We have two young kids who are my utmost concern.

Recently i wondered if im subject to narcissistic control. Here are some points that make me unhappy.

Emotionally toxic relationship with an entire family that have following tendencies

1. Attention and need for control and compliments
2. Reminders of what they do and past favours - housework constant argumemts about who does what, looking after kids, looking after sick me
3. They are victims of me and the hardships i bring
4. No intimacy in relationship - cold and my wife needs to be asked to hug me at night
5. Breaks into tears on challenge
6. Believes they are from.a finer "stock" of human
7. My wifes perception is never wrong
8. Very argumentative and never apologizes when wrong, i always bend for an easier life
9. Argues for control and meanders in points to win
11. Never compliments me
12. Never does simple things like make me tea but expects household chores completed and unhappy when not done
13. I know how to manipulate and always get what i want - statement from withim the family ive heard before
14. My efforts are viewed as forceful when i try to bring intimacy into our lives

I need your advice on whether to leave this relationship? How to unlock the chains i have around me?

Thanks.
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Default May 15, 2022 at 08:09 AM
  #2
Sounds like a cold selfish group of people.
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Default May 16, 2022 at 03:11 AM
  #3
Robjam

Can relate to several items on your list. For a small family, there are so many separate agendas.

It's only lately that I've decided I'm not going to be the "family football". Whether it's lies, unacceptable comments or even physically lashing out (my sister-in-law under the influence of alcohol).

Whilst you are mindful of supporting your children, it's good that you don't let your illness rule your life.

Even in a relationship it's important to retain your own decency and integrity. It may take time to shake off the chains and involve some tough decisions. Ultimately, you will be stronger and more in tune with your own wellbeing.
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