advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Icedgem
Member
Icedgem has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: here
Posts: 89
5 yr Member
11 hugs
given
Default May 19, 2022 at 07:30 AM
  #1
MIL sent a long message in a group chat..

I think it’s time for me to leave this chat, other family can continue to develop their relationship with you and can continue to have photos and updates of the childrens life 💙❤️
I am so sorry I was not what you wanted me to be, I was so proud to be a Nana, I tried very hard but I don’t think I was ever good enough.
I am so sorry I never called more but I find texting easier with my work schedule but I actually never received many calls back either.
I am so sorry what happened to your brother I never knew him but I was so so sad and upset for you dad & I thought giving you space to grieve with your other family was the right thing to do, but dad always kept in contact with you for updates as we was so concerned for you. I offered to have children on funeral day suggested we pop over when ever or you pop here, but we got that wrong to !! Sorry these are all new challenges in life which people act different too.
I think reading between the lines with all the cancelled events over the year it’s been quite upsetting to us too we do have feelings from wedding vows
Cancelled days out
Cancelled Christmas together
Cancelled Christmas carol service but despite all this we kept positive and kept smiling but it was always walking on egg shells. Scared I may say something that you don’t like.
I wanted to normal pop over no big deal gathering you come here or I come there
I wanted to see babys first bath first dinner first tooth first steps I been denialed so much as a Nana it’s hurtful especially when my friends have this relationship with there grandchild 💙
I adore the children and would of love them both in our lives so much more and it breaks my heart their not. I just wanted a big happy family which I thought I tried very hard.
But this has emotionally drained us know.
I’m so sorry we were not good enough for you

NB - we didn't cancel the events listed... She did.

Then she left the group chat.

Then father in law replied
Yes I totally agree and feel you will be better off without us in your lives as we clearly don’t meet expectations!

And he left.

This was months ago and now she wants back in saying how she misses the grandkids etc.

I didn't reply to the original messages. I was so angry. We tried a lot to meet up and they were busy and they'd suggest a date and we were busy etc. We had a young family member killed in January so have been grieving hard.

I just don't want to be around them at all. And I want to say that but how?
Icedgem is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Bill3

advertisement
Bill3
Legendary
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,923
15 yr Member
24.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 19, 2022 at 02:52 PM
  #2
To me, that parting message was a passive-aggressive guilt trip.

If they wanted to do better, they ought to have gotten advice from their successful grandparent friends.

I can understand why you are not eager to have them back in.

Your child(ren) though would benefit from having appropriate grandparents. So to me a main question is whether you can see any possibility of them maturing into that role.
Bill3 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Icedgem
Member
Icedgem has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: here
Posts: 89
5 yr Member
11 hugs
given
Default May 19, 2022 at 03:07 PM
  #3
Many thanks for your reply.

The children have other grandparents who are wonderful. We even had to move in with them short term while we had building work carried out on our home and it was lovely so I guess they aren't missing out from that perspective.

The in-laws have done this before, years ago. Similar thing, texting then leaving the family group chat. It's very school yard behaviour. Once they didn't speak to us for years. Again, all said in a text before vanishing.

Now this is the last time. Our children deserve better. I just want to say something that is concrete and clear that we don't want them around anymore
Icedgem is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Bill3
Nammu
Crone
 
Nammu's Avatar
Nammu has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 70,982 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
53.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 19, 2022 at 08:32 PM
  #4
Sounds like she has problems with social anxiety

__________________
Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann



Nammu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Icedgem
Member
Icedgem has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: here
Posts: 89
5 yr Member
11 hugs
given
Default May 20, 2022 at 06:16 AM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nammu View Post
Sounds like she has problems with social anxiety
Thanks for replying. What's makes you say about the social anxiety?
Icedgem is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:43 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.