Online friendships are sometimes not worth it

We met last year in person through a social media event and stayed friends online through Facebook. After a few incidents - today being a major one - where her posts revealed her true personality to me, I just couldn't ignore her red flags anymore and ended the friendship.

It's so awkward when this happens. I had to message her husband and let him know why I couldn't remain friends with him on Facebook. Then, I messaged a mutual friend to let her know too, that I wasn't friends with our mutual friend anymore.

The incident today was the last straw. Previous incidents include:

• messaging me to tell me she didn't like some of my friends on Facebook (I thought that was weird b/c she didn't know any of them personally)
• Missing my birthday celebration and not apologizing for ghosting me on my birthday
• Anytime I disagree with her, instead of acknowledging my feelings she just would laugh and tell me I was overreacting
• She'd post passive aggressive comments about my accomplishments that I posted about on my Facebook
• When I asked her about a weekend she and her husband was free to have me visit, she basically said she wasn't going to alter her schedule to meet me for any site seeing etc. while I'd be in her city, specifically to see her and her husband and hang out with them.

Those are the highlights of what I consider toxic behavior. The vacation one and the birthday one should have been my cues to cut her loose but I foolishly gave her the benefit of the doubt and continued to stay friends with her.

Why would I fly to her city to visit her and her husband if she blatantly says she's not going to meetup with me b/c she has a,b, and c to do and doesn't want to deviate from her schedule and that was in response to multiple dates that I offered to visit for her and her husband's availability.

Today's incident, I disagreed with a post about the use of dog shock collars. She and her husband have two dogs and they use a shock collar on their 2 year old puppy. We were in a group chat and she called me a troll, b/c I posted a link from the Humane Society about an article on how dog shock collars don't teach dogs anything except to negatively associate anxiety and pain with the shock they receive when they bark, and sometimes they get aggressive due to their anxiety about being constantly shocked. It was just my opinion. I have friends who disagree with me, yet they respect my feelings and acknowledge that my opinion matters to them, even if I disagree with them. She didn't react that way. She was very snarky.

So, when I told her via FB that I was done with her friendship, she texted me that I was overreactive and she went on about how great her husband is and how I would miss out on her friendship because I'm so small minded.

I'm middle aged. I don't need people in my life who are going to gaslight me b/c we disagree with each other. I deserve to have my opinion respected. When someone puts me in a scapegoat role that is not friendship. That's emotional abuse.