Very low libido

I’m 50. My libido is near to zero. I never had a very high sex drive either. I’m more a romantic person, I mean more ethereal person. Don’t know if I explained myself well in this last point.

Then, for many years, I took pills for depression that the main side effect was the lost of libido. As this medication worked very well with my symptoms of depression, my partner was very understanding.
We both even learnt to not even think of sex.

Last time we had sex, I had a bad experience. I felt a lot of pain in the intercourse so much that we had to stop and my partner ordered a vibrator so I could use it little by little to recover my elasticity. Still today, I haven’t tried it. It’s as if I try to apart the idea of sex from my mind. But, on another part, I want sex to be a part of my relationship.

Any idea?
Have someone here try the Chinese balls? I’m also considering try it. Since I only feel like having sex while I’m in my menstruation, and it’s not very intense either.

I have to say that I’m not taking the pills I mentioned above now. My current medication doesn’t affect my sexual drive. So, no problem in this sense.

See a doctor. Stop buying things online and just see a doctor.

Im sorry you had a bad and painful sexual experience AzulOscuro.There are things you could try like buying some lubrication and making sure you are aroused enough. There's also pelvic floor exercises and physical therapy, if that is the source of your pain. I think, ultimately, though, seeing a doctor is a good idea too.

You might be approaching menopause? It’s typical to experience dryness and discomfort as we get older. You need a lot of lubrication as your pain might be due to dryness. Talk to your doctor about it. Unless your boyfriend is a doctor, he wouldn’t know if the issue of pain during intercourse could be resolved by using a vibrator. I’ve never heard such a thing.

Bottom line, see a doctor

You should see a gynecologist because for some women nearing and after fifty intercourse can be painful. That’s not your fault and there may be things you can do about it. And yes, unfortunately with some of the antidepressants a side affect can be low libido and no sexual desire.

Thank you, girls, I’ve being my pelvic floor treat by my Osteopath and I will go on the exercises he proposed me.
I’m gonna try with lubrication and the vibrator, if I don’t see a bettering, I will see the doctor. Indeed my next appointment is in September.

My main problems is lack of libido and it can’t be due to my current pills for depression since they don’t have this side effect. I think that I’m asexual. 🙄

Thank you all for your help

Have you ever tried reading romance novels or erotic literature? If so, did it have any effect? They say the biggest sex organ is your brain, and that thinking about it in a certain way helps some people. If a connection is romanticized in your head, the act itself might be more interesting and rewarding. Just a thought?

I agree about asking a doctor too. Doctors always seem to have some interesting ideas.

No. To be honest I haven’t read erotic literature since I was around 12, 14. I loved so much romantic stories and of course, the erotic part was a discovering for me in a good sense.
But, now…I even lost the taste for romantic movies or literature. They seem to me now so boring and so far from my interests.
I neither had the balls to stand 50 Grey shades. I began to see the movie and in the third scene I quit it.

But, without any doubt you made a very good point. The mind plays the most important role in sex activity.

I’m gonna try to do something in relation to what you suggest.

At the beginning, when I was sexually more active, I had problems with how I saw my body , then, thesd antidepressants. I have been having downs in depression along many years. And there’s nothing like to be into a depression to suffer a lack of motivation for doing anything (including sexual activity(
Now, that I’m at my best moment ever, I’m hungry of life in all senses. That’s why I dared to write about this topic here. A topic I’m not being very comfortable with but I feel strength now to talk openly, even about this topic.

You should look for other substitutions I regards of the pills u have been taking all these years, obviously they are the main reason why your libido kept decreasing...
U should strike directly the main point.
Visit a doctor, the best thing u can do, tell him about the pills, and bout the willing to include the sex in ur life more than any time, I'm sure u will find out a solution.
Best luck.