About putting things outside

I have a question. Maybe because I’m shy but I never understood that idea about feeling some kind of relief from a problem only with the act of putting outside, on another person or people.
I only understand that you tell somebody about someone or putting it outside to get some kind of insight so you can take hands on the issue but the only idea to talk about your problems for others to read or listen to them. I don’t see any point on that.

Do you understand it? If you see any explanation to this, makes me know, please.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro I have a question. Maybe because I’m shy but I never understood that idea about feeling some kind of relief from a problem only with the act of putting outside, on another person or people. I only understand that you tell somebody about someone or putting it outside to get some kind of insight so you can take hands on the issue but the only idea to talk about your problems for others to read or listen to them. I don’t see any point on that. Do you understand it? If you see any explanation to this, makes me know, please.

I have trusted friends I discuss some issues with but it is for discussion, not for relief. Coming up with a plan of attack or a solution gives relief but it is the plan or solution that provides the relief.

However if I accidently hurt someone's feelings, apologizing to them & knowing they understand can give relief so can stop ruminating of the fact I might have hurt them

Do you mean ‘venting’ Azul? Like when a person talks about something that’s bothering them but not to find a solution? Just to be heard?

Yes. I remember a coworker who told every problem she had. It was a monologue. And exhausting monologue.
It’s clear she was a very extrovert person but I can’t understand what she may get out of complaining about everything that happens to her. And in a way that it seemed as if everyone was in this Earth to hurt her.

I tried to avoid her a hell but we had our free time at the same time and both smoke and took coffee, so I find hard to get rid of her often.
Of course, no mention that she talks so much and fast that I can’t even change the topic to a more positive one.

I tell about my worries with mental health issues to my psychologists or some people who are in the same page as me but I don’t find any relief only through talking about a problem. I do it to help support to find a solution or a lead, an idea that I can use. I see few productive other way and selfish because you charge the other person with negativity.

I’m not saying I never did it. Everybody has done it one time or another.

I have also noticed that I find often these persons. Maybe because I’m introvert and my education and a coping mechanism I have when facing social situations (due to my social anxiety) is to listen to people who interact with me putting my five senses.