[Steaktaco]

Hey all, I moved into a new co-ed place back in August. We are a mix of 20-30s and I cannot get around feelings for one of the roommates. I have lived in coed situations before and never had this pesky problem.

Basically we chat a good amount, have cooked for each other, and it turns out we have a lot in common with similar goals going into our early 30’s. She is kind of flirty in general, but I have picked up some pretty strong signals that could indicate she has similar things going through her head. Basically telling me she’s single now, mentioning roommate relationships can be approached without drama. I wish I brought this up then but have been feeling it out.

Anyways, for my own sanity I have to say something now. This is really hard for me because I don’t want to make her uncomfortable in her living situation. I also don’t want to live with regret for not saying anything.

Im thinking of saying something low pressure and open ended? like “I’m really lucky to have such great roommates., and like how we are becoming friends. You’re an amazing person. I want to get this off my chest. You have attractive qualities, goals, and values. If you ever want to do something fun together out of the house It could be fun”. Then see what she says and go from there.

Women please give input here.

[DoroMona]

Yes, tell her how you feel, in a low pressure way. You will regret it if you don't, and if you wait too long, she'll find someone else. Tell her she can think about it. Tell her it's OK if she doesn't feel the same way, you won't be weird about it. What you wrote sounds great so it doesn't sound like you really need a lot of advice and I'm not necessarily the best person to give advice on this sort of thing, even though I'm female. Your last sentence -- "if you ever want to do something fun together" is in my opinion too vague. I would just go for it with: "Want to try going on a date?"

Only thing I'll add is don't ask her questions that are none of your business leading up to your confession. I've had guys ask me if I have a boyfriend first, before telling me they like me. It pisses me off a lot. It's like they think my personal life is their business because they're interested in me, or almost like they're implying I'll cheat if given the chance so better they manage that issue themselves. You know she's single so you won't stumble into that, but it's something to keep in mind in general.