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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2013
Posts: 2,014
10 |
#21
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Frankly, it's like you putting your hand in fire, your hand gets burned, and you go 'oh, why is the fire burning me, what is wrong with the fire?' What you need to learn is that this is the nature of fire - it burns. Bullying is the nature of those people whom you consider to be 'friends'. The important question is: WHY do you choose to keep putting your hand in the fire? |
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Bill3, Discombobulated, Mendingmysoul
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: Here
Posts: 907
4 807 hugs
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#22
I find myself scratching my head reading ,trying to understand.
Dear Applelime,I would say donot pay attention to what they said or did.Or why they said or did it.Pay attention to your feelings about all that. Nightmares,flashbacks and PTSD. You are the one needing therapy over this.Is it even worth talking to them?Think of all the damage they did to you.It has been toxic .Why do you want to drink poison so to figuratively speak?Or do you think if you keep on talking to them they will change and become nicer people?Do you think some how if you continue tobe nice,they will come around and treat you nice?Sounds like you want to fix them.Or want to analyze if they meet the criteria of covert narcs.Why do you waste your time on analyzing such awful people?Therapy will heal you and you don't need such damaging people in your life.No need to fix anyone other than you.Keep safe. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,533
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,711 hugs
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#23
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__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2022
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 60
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#24
Let them go, let them go, and again I say let them go! They're sink holes on your path to good mental health. They're energy vampires and spirit crushers. Ask yourself how much more you'll allow her/they to take from you. They're pretty much players. Life is too short and unpredictable to waste a minute on that stuff. I've got a feeling you already know kicking that whole business to curb is one of the best things you'll ever do for yourself. You got the power so get on up and use it. It's really awesome you posted your question because I think it resonates with a lot of people. Sending you hugs.
__________________ Courage is found in unlikely places. |
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AppleLime, Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,533
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,711 hugs
given |
#25
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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Member
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 52
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#26
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I still blame myself. Especailly the Sophie person who didn't want to be friends again. After 1 year of apologsing to her back in 2017 and then towards the end of 2018, liked one of her Instagram art pictures and she blocked me. It was only in 2019 probably because I kept harassing Kare about Sophie that Kate agreed to send that apology to Sophie. I was left dissapointed because I sent her this long message saying I'm sorry and try to put myself in her shoes. And then she just sends this short message that's not very depth at all. What bothers me is that I have never meet a person who have never forgiven someone. At first I thought she forgave me but maybe in 2021 Kate was like "She will only forgive you if you are sorry for everything " I felt so hurt ,shocked and confused. I said to Kate "But I said that apology" and Kate response was "oh yeah" This was all by messager by the way. I have never meet Kate since 2017. But I do notice how they hang with Sophie many times. I've notice that Kate changed her tone and stopped talking to me much since she sent that apology message to Sophie. I thought if I could figure out if Sophie is a narccism then some how that will lift off the guilt I feel and carry with me. I assume she is narc because how it seems she lacks empathy. For example when I told her how my grandma died, she just carried on with the converstation she was perviously talking about. Then later on during that year she came to me by messager saying how her online friend died and she was shocked. I felt resentment and thought why should I be their for you if you weren't their when my grandma died. Question what is a energy vampires and spirit crushers? I have heard engery vampires and how they use people engery and you feel competetly drained. However I haven't heard of spirit crushes. Could you explain them to me as well how can you notice them early on so it's not years of it? |
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Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,533
(SuperPoster!)
6 9,711 hugs
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#27
Quote:
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
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AppleLime
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