What mum said to me after my cousin died

black-roses · Nov 30, 2022 at 07:07 AM

My mum said this to me today. Well she said this girl died but she did a lot of things for her son's etc but you don't do anything. Maybe if you died I could finally stop worrying about what happens to you when I die. I'm like so you want me dead you wish I died in her place she says no. However that's pretty much what she said.

Angry Fairy · Nov 30, 2022 at 10:02 AM

I'm sorry you're in such pain. Is it possible that your mother is just not the best communicator? I'm guessing this isn't the first time she's said something that just sounds awful? I'm guessing she doesn't want you dead but that she IS worried about you. I don't know if her worry is justified, or not justified (like she believes you should be married with kids and you don't see that as a preferred way of life). Maybe you could ask her- Why are you worried about me?

black-roses · Nov 30, 2022 at 10:24 AM

I said to her you would rather me dead and then I said you would be happy that I died and she said that's not true I wouldn't be happy that my daughter died. I know why she's worried because I don't do much around the house I get that. Most of the time I feel like why bother it's not up to her standard anyway. Anyway I'm sick of the same situation. She's obviously not happy and would rather just blame me rather than look at herself. She's never been very good at self awareness.

black-roses · Nov 30, 2022 at 10:34 AM

No, it's not that she wants me to be married off she doesn't even think I could take care of a home. She says to me people don't date just to stare at peoples eyes they want you to do stuff. So that's not why.

Bill3 · Dec 01, 2022 at 11:16 AM

That must have been very hard to hear. I'm really sorry.

Plus, it sounds like she makes you feel like whatever you do around the house isn't going to be good enough for her.

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What mum said to me after my cousin died

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black-roses Poohbah Member Since Dec 2015 Location: Australia Posts: 1,495 8 116 hugs given	Nov 30, 2022 at 07:07 AM #1 My mum said this to me today. Well she said this girl died but she did a lot of things for her son's etc but you don't do anything. Maybe if you died I could finally stop worrying about what happens to you when I die. I'm like so you want me dead you wish I died in her place she says no. However that's pretty much what she said.
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black-roses Poohbah Member Since Dec 2015 Location: Australia Posts: 1,495 8 116 hugs given	Nov 30, 2022 at 10:34 AM #4 No, it's not that she wants me to be married off she doesn't even think I could take care of a home. She says to me people don't date just to stare at peoples eyes they want you to do stuff. So that's not why.
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Bill3 Legendary Member Since Mar 2009 Location: USA Posts: 10,924 15 24.1k hugs given	Dec 01, 2022 at 11:16 AM #5 That must have been very hard to hear. I'm really sorry. Plus, it sounds like she makes you feel like whatever you do around the house isn't going to be good enough for her.
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