My husband took my nsme off our joint account w/o my consent, can he do that?

Hi everyone, I hope that you all enjoyed the holidays first of all. I’m more depressed than usual now because my husband took my name off our joint account without telling me about anything until I asked him about things.

What started this happened before Thanksgiving. He left the checkbook to me to pay 2 of my credit card bills which I did.

He went on a trip & since he’s paranoid, we don’t do things online. I mailed the 2 checks before Thanksgiving inside the post office & handed it to the clerk there. Both checks were lost in the mail.

He then blamed me for that & said I should’ve dropped them off in the mailbox. He bevame more ridiculous & then blamed me when some theif cashed a $950 check in person & ended up getting away with that.

He didn’t even bother to tell me that anything was being investigated! I had to find that out by being denied access to funds!

He’s always been super secretive about money & claims to not even know how much he still owes the IRS which I don’t believe at all.

Anyways, he told me that when I do things that something always goes wrong. He used this incident to justify his actions. He has also threatened to take my name off the joint account in the past for withdrawing money without his permission.

He’s financially abusive & he makes sure thst my credit remaind bad so that I won’t ‘fill up’ new cards . He denies paying bills late. He didn’t even pay off any of my credit cards for 7 years!

It’s ridiculous to pay late fees just to keep me from ever being able to get new credit cards or a credit increase . I’m disabled & unable to work now due to physical & mental disabilities. I’ll try to get on disability, but I probably won’t get it as I haven’t worked that much in the last few years.

I don’t qualify for any low income assistance as every place looks at the household income & not the individual income. He makes to much for me to get any medical or financial assistance.

He gets mad & yells at me when I ask him to please put my name back on the new account. He closed the old one & reopened a new one at the same bank , Citibank.

I googled if he can do this & the article said that he can’t do this without my consent. I plan on going to the bank to speak to a manager tomorrow.

This is extremely unfair. I feel like I was victimized twice! People I’ve told this to said that our mail was probably stolen to where the bills were sent.

He lied to me when he said he didn’t have the time to close the account & said that we’d go together to do it. He went there when he had time & didn’t tell me anything until I asked when we’ll open up a new account.

I’m very upset now. I accused him of hiding things & that maybe he’s trying to hide his money as he might be planning to leave me or that he might be having an affair.

He has threatened me with divorce for years almost everytime we had a disagreement.

Is there anything that I can do to get him to asd my name back on the account? He thinks that I spend to much money which isn’t true.

I only spend what I need to on gas, food, and getting little things done like my nails & haircuts. I had to cancel an appointment this week due to not having enough cash for anything m. Food & gas expenses come first.

He gives me a weekly amount of cash each week & that’s it. I have no access to the checkbook or any of his credit cards. He tells me that I’m lucky to get cash every week.

He won’t even give me his card to go to the vets for my cat or the Drs. most if the time. So then I need to deal with the embarrassment of having to call him so that he can give out the number over the phone, ugh!

Things weren’t always like this We’ve been married for almost 29 years. Things got worse after he declared bankruptcy in 2004.

Mist of the debt was from his business. Of course I knew nothing about this until less than a week beforehand. My debt was about $16 compared to his $100, 000 plus.

It’s typical of him to blame me for almost everything thst goes wrong. When something breaks or doesn’t work, it’s always my fault, ugh!

Even my therapist seem to think this is a problem since it’s ‘his’ money that he works hard for. She is OK with most other things. She’s a student therapist. I can’t afford anyone else now.

I’d appreciate any advice.

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with an abusive spouse. This is not healthy marriage you're currently in... in fact this isn't a marriage at all. Your husband is way too controlling.. to the point of it being abusive. He treats you like an infant child instead of his wife. Your husband does not have the right to remove your name from the joint account without proper consent according to the Consumer Financial Protection

I have a joint checking account with my spouse. I would like to remove my spouse from the account. Can I do that? | Consumer Financial Protection Bureau

I encourage you to take a trip to the bank to see what's going on... and how he manage to get your name off of the joint account without your consent. I don't know where you're from, but the penalties for forgery (If he somehow forged your name) is a Third Degree Felony punishable up to 5 years in prison.

He seems very unhappy in the marriage.. threatening you with divorce. The only advice that I can give to you is to go to marriage counseling.. if he refuses and has no ambition to save the marriage then give him what he wants.. a divorce.

The way I’m reading this he didn’t exactly take your name off the current account but closed the old one and opened a new one himself? I’m not sure about the legal situation of closing a joint account, but that’s the only action I would think you might have some leverage in, if there were funds in that account when it closed but you were denied access to them? Im no legal expert but simply opening an account in his own name sounds perfectly legitimate.

It sounds very difficult, and please don’t feel I’m lecturing you, because these situations are never so simple when we’re in them, but I would advise anyone to make sure they have their own account and income even if it were just a part time job/benefits. I know you say it’s been difficult for you to work and obtain benefits so it’s made you completely financially dependent on him which has put you in a powerless situation.

I’m not sure if within your marriage you’d legally be able to insist upon your name on an account if you’re not contributing income to it but maybe someone else may know the legal situation better. Divorce however would be a different matter (you’d likely find you had an entitlement because of years married/your earlier contributions both financially and emotionally) but I guess that’s something only you can decide if it’s what you want to do.

The checks going missing was not your fault, once the clerk has them it's the post office's responsibility, can you get that money back off of the post office? not sure how it works there

If checks were made to the bank or a credit union how can someone else cash it? Both checks were cashed by some thief???

Legally speaking married people are allowed to have bank accounts without spouses name on it. Doesn’t matter if people work or not

It sounds like you two are very unhappy. What keeps you two in this marriage?

It’s absolutely not post office’s responsibility. Certainly post office isn’t going to pay anyone for their lost checks

what i meant was its the post office's responsibility to make sure the checks get to the address its addressed to

We don’t know why the checks were missing. They were maybe delivered to the bank but bank clerk lost them. There’s no way to know. Post office won’t be held responsible

Lots unclear here and frankly, he didn't "take your name off" but just flat-out closed the account, which I believe he can do. He then reopened a new account under his name.

You're in a tough situation, but I would suggest you calling a domestic abuse hotline in your area because there's definitely controlling behavior and limiting your access to funds. They may also be able to get you an attorney to get a divorce, but I don't know that a divorce will put you in a better position because then you'll be unmarried with no funds at all.

Have you applied for disability and got turned down in the past? How long has it been since you last had a job?

It depends on state and the bank. Sadly most banks do allow one person to close a joint account.

Your husband may have changed from when you first married but that doesn’t excuse his abusive behavior. It is abuse.

I'm going to second what Molinit said about calling a domestic abuse holiness. They can give you information and connect you with resources.

You’re right about what you said. I did go to the bank yesterday & the manager photocopied bank statements & when the old account was blocked (not closed). It went from having almost $90000 in it to $944 in it. My husband opened a new account that he did not add me to.

He lied when he said we’d go together to get me added in it as it needs to be done in person. I think he plans on keeping me off it as he exploded & was nasty took the photocopies that I showed him. I got mad & said things that I regret. I hate to say this, but I was so upset that I drank. He then threatened to leave me again for the millionth time.

The cooy of the fraudulent check was from name I didn’t recognize. Maybe the maid who was here on 11/13 took a check. It was cashed on 11/21. It’s possible one of the lost checks was stolen in the mail.

It was never received. He blames me for this happening. He tends to blame me when things go wrong sometimes like when my computer or phone doesn’t work properly, he says he never has this issue & that I always mess things up.

I can’t do a single thing without him consenting to adding me back on the account. The only good thing about this incident is that the bank refunded the $950.

Please resd my last post so I don’t have to retype everything. The bank says it’s legal unfortunately. The bank manager did not seem sympathetic at all. She was businesslike.

I doubt that having a job would entitle me to be added back to the account. He’d need to add me back in person with me & I doubt he’ll do that now. I was victimized twice.

It’s not my fault, but he thinks it is just for handing it to the clerk instead of dropping it off in the mailbox. He’s way to paranoid!

I second the advice about going to a domestic abuse place

Two credit card checks I mailed got stolen or lost. So the theif might’ve gotten a hold of one of those checks. Or the maid stole a check that I might’ve left out by accident in the checkbook.

One check was made out to this man for $950 & in the memo, it said payment. So it looked like my husband or myself wrote & sitned the check to this guy.

How do they get away with doing that?

I stay because I have no money & nowhere to go. Idk why he stays. Maybe he’s afraid of having to split his assets with me?

Are there domestic abuse places for people being abused, to go to live while they try and sort something else out?

The account was blocked, not closed. He transferred the money to a new account. I haven’t applied for disability yet but will.

I haven’t worked in about two years I think. I can’t keep a job because employers expect me to learn everything in a few days & fire me when I can’t hit the ground running even for things I’ve never done before. I gave up & stopped looking.

I’m limited to working retail as I have almost no computer skills. That’s hard on someone like me who has physical & mental disabilities.

I I have called those places in the past & they’re always full! I’m afraid he’ll end up leaving me with nothing. I have no money to pay a lawyer & no one can or will help me. If I’m lucky, I could couch surf between friends houses.