Friends & I were insulted last night by a waiter. They didn’t react, why?.

jesyka · Jan 13, 2023 at 08:53 PM

Last night 2 friends went out with me to dinner. The waiter said this after we ordered a few things to share: You eat to much. Myself & one other friends are overweight.

Because of that they barely ate anything. We’re all recovering bullimics & anorexics. I wanted to speak up but they’re wimpy tbh & told me ‘to be nice’. They were upset about what he said. Especially my heavy set friend. She’s now never going back there.

I don’t understand how speaking up is making a ‘scene’. What would you have done if you were me?

I did call the manager today & since we can’t remember who he was exactly, she needs to look into things. I’ll supposedly get a call back later with an apology from that guy.

I suspect it’s the guy I spoke to earlier as he didn’t ask to take my number & he wanted to see what everything was about. I didn’t say anything just in case he wanted to twist things around.

I’m disappointed in them both as they’ve been bullied a lot & yet they will rarely defend themselves. Why? They’re both adult women between 38-55.

jesyka · Jan 13, 2023 at 08:54 PM

My heavy set friend would rather be passive aggressive & make silly jokes about that rude waiter than do anything about things. All she did was say the waiter was rude on FB.

Jan 14, 2023 at 05:23 AM

If you get no luck with the manager, maybe leave a bad review?

divine1966 · Jan 14, 2023 at 06:16 AM

I’d file a written complaint. Email. So there’s a record of it. Describe what happened. Then follow up to find out if course of action was taken. He should never be allowed to speak like that

I’d not judge your friends for not wanting to argue in a restaurant. it’s not comfortable to start arguing. Maybe they should’ve but it’s not easy. You are in a bad marriage yet you don’t speak up and don’t leave and don’t stand up for yourself. You described some other bad situations with people and again you’d not speak up and don’t stand up for yourself

Your friends weren’t comfortable to argue with a waiter. Not everyone can stand up for themselves. You don’t.

Jan 14, 2023 at 07:38 AM

For the record, you deserve better than that treatment jeskya

Discombobulated · Jan 14, 2023 at 08:39 AM

I think sometimes we can be so taken aback in the moment that we are stunned and don’t know what to say - of course often afterwards we think of all the things we could have said, quite often. (How about “We eat too much? You talk too much”?)

I wouldn’t read too much into your friends reaction, but good for you complaining.

*Beth* · Jan 16, 2023 at 09:57 AM

That's certainly a strange thing for a waiter to say. So you ordered your food and he said that exact sentence? "You eat too much"?

jesyka · Jan 17, 2023 at 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowtigger

If you get no luck with the manager, maybe leave a bad review?

The manager kept her word. The waiter who made that comment apologized to me but he denied saying anything wrong. I tild him both myself & my friends heard what he said.

I then said that he ruined their dinner as they were to embarrassed to eat after that. I didn’t care. My friend who said she wouldn’t go there anymore changed her mind about going back there as the food there is good.

Hopefully we won’t ger thst guy next time. If we di, then I sure hope he’ll remember me as the customer you shouldn’t mess with, lol 😆

jesyka · Jan 17, 2023 at 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I’d file a written complaint. Email. So there’s a record of it. Describe what happened. Then follow up to find out if course of action was taken. He should never be allowed to speak like that

I’d not judge your friends for not wanting to argue in a restaurant. it’s not comfortable to start arguing. Maybe they should’ve but it’s not easy. You are in a bad marriage yet you don’t speak up and don’t leave and don’t stand up for yourself. You described some other bad situations with people and again you’d not speak up and don’t stand up for yourself

Your friends weren’t comfortable to argue with a waiter. Not everyone can stand up for themselves. You don’t.

I resolved the situation & my friends applauded me for it. I understand what you’re doing saying. My situation is different.

I DO speak up. I can only do so much. Beleive me, I have raised hell & have eliminated some bad behavior from ny husband. And I banned his rude parents from the house years ago as well as my rude patents recently.

One thing he won’t budge much on finances. I did what I could. Supposedly he’ll add my name back to the account in a week or two after we get back from a trip.l for his birthday.

It’s not like I can just get up & leave. Whete would I sleep? How can I get money to eat? It’s not that easy as you think when you don’t have any savings or any money. If I did, then things would be a lot easier.

Womens shelters are always full & I doubt that my friends will let me stay at their place for long. My parents are crazy. I’d never move back there. They banned me from the house anyways because of my psycho sister who attacked me years ago.

Please don’t assume things next time.

jesyka · Jan 17, 2023 at 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowtigger

For the record, you deserve better than that treatment jeskya

True. I’m sure he’ll never mess with me again. I let him know that I didn’t believe him. He probably won’t mess with me again.

jesyka · Jan 17, 2023 at 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

I think sometimes we can be so taken aback in the moment that we are stunned and don’t know what to say - of course often afterwards we think of all the things we could have said, quite often. (How about “We eat too much? You talk too much”?)

I wouldn’t read too much into your friends reaction, but good for you complaining.

That’s true.

jesyka · Jan 17, 2023 at 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

That's certainly a strange thing for a waiter to say. So you ordered your food and he said that exact sentence? "You eat too much"?

Definitely. We all heard it. It’s doubtful that all 3 of us misunderstood him. He did say that. He lied & denied it of course. He won’t mess with me again, lol 😆

Jan 18, 2023 at 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jesyka

Definitely. We all heard it. It’s doubtful that all 3 of us misunderstood him. He did say that. He lied & denied it of course. He won’t mess with me again, lol 😆

It might make him think twice before saying it to anyone else either

I bet hes had other complaints made against him as well

jesyka · Jan 18, 2023 at 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowtigger

It might make him think twice before saying it to anyone else either

I bet hes had other complaints made against him as well

Probably. Hopefully he’ll get fired soon.

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

Friends & I were insulted last night by a waiter. They didn’t react, why?.

My Support Forums

jesyka Poohbah Member Since Jun 2020 Location: U.S Posts: 1,280 3 270 hugs given	Jan 13, 2023 at 08:54 PM #2 My heavy set friend would rather be passive aggressive & make silly jokes about that rude waiter than do anything about things. All she did was say the waiter was rude on FB.
	Reply With Quote

Anonymous32448 Guest Posts: n/a	Jan 14, 2023 at 05:23 AM #3 If you get no luck with the manager, maybe leave a bad review?
	Reply With Quote

Anonymous32448 Guest Posts: n/a	Jan 14, 2023 at 07:38 AM #5 For the record, you deserve better than that treatment jeskya
	Reply With Quote

Discombobulated Grand Magnate Member Since Oct 2019 Location: UK Posts: 4,686 (SuperPoster!) 4 11.6k hugs given	Jan 14, 2023 at 08:39 AM #6 I think sometimes we can be so taken aback in the moment that we are stunned and don’t know what to say - of course often afterwards we think of all the things we could have said, quite often. (How about “We eat too much? You talk too much”?) I wouldn’t read too much into your friends reaction, but good for you complaining.
	Reply With Quote

Beth catches the flowers Member Since Jul 2019 Location: Downtown Vibes, California Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!) 4 23.7k hugs given	Jan 16, 2023 at 09:57 AM #7 That's certainly a strange thing for a waiter to say. So you ordered your food and he said that exact sentence? "You eat too much"? __________________
	Reply With Quote