FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Legendary Wise Elder
divine1966
Tired!!!
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,304
(SuperPoster!)
1,274 hugs
given |
#41
Does your insurance cover therapy? What if your pdoc refers you?
|
Wise Elder
Have Hope
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,044
(SuperPoster!)
3,619 hugs
given |
#42
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Legendary
Bill3
has no updates.
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,923
24.1k hugs
given |
#43
Possibly a good resource would be a free listening line such as:
https://caringcontact.org/ The listeners are not therapists but are trained to listen and support nonjudgmentally. |
Wise Elder
Have Hope
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,044
(SuperPoster!)
3,619 hugs
given |
#44
Quote:
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
|
Anonymous32448, Bill3
|
Member
RollercoasterLover
In a healthy mental space.
Member Since: Apr 2021
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 315
58 hugs
given |
#45
This is normal. There are a lot of highs and lows through the whole divorce process and post divorce. Take each feeling as it happens and remind yourself that it's OK to feel and with some time you will heal. With so many stressful situations in your life right now, stress management and self care are even more important. Be gentle and patient with yourself.
|
Have Hope
|
Bill3, Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Have Hope
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,044
(SuperPoster!)
3,619 hugs
given |
#46
Quote:
I am very stressed, for certain. Yesterday I took a "me" day and didn't look for jobs, but I saw the dentist. I have a slew of issues. It's depressing me. I had a really bad day yesterday. I hope today will be better. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
|
AliceKate, Bill3
|
Legendary
Bill3
has no updates.
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,923
24.1k hugs
given |
#47
((((((((Have Hope))))))))
|
Have Hope
|
Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Have Hope
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,044
(SuperPoster!)
3,619 hugs
given |
#48
Thanks @Bill3.
Now my husband continues to email me, despite blocking him on the cell phone. I finally told him that we need to stop communicating, telling him it's not good for my mental health. He thinks he can break through to me again and that I will cave eventually. This is despite my telling him several times that I no longer love him. He is truly unbelievable. But I suppose that it's partially due to the fact that he's been able to convince me several times in the past that he has "learned his lesson" and will be better. I told him I've been hearing the same tune for four years and ever since I first mentioned divorce. Empty promises & empty words, is all that is. He is full of bs. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
AliceKate, Bill3
|
Legendary
Bill3
has no updates.
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,923
24.1k hugs
given |
#49
What if you block his email or change yours? Or delete his messages without reading them? 🤔
|
Wise Elder
Have Hope
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,044
(SuperPoster!)
3,619 hugs
given |
#50
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Bill3
|
Wise Elder
Buffy01
has no updates.
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,461
(SuperPoster!)
9,664 hugs
given |
#51
Ilgrouphug: I’m sorry to hear that
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Have Hope
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,044
(SuperPoster!)
3,619 hugs
given |
#53
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Buffy01
|
Buffy01
|
Wise Elder
Have Hope
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,044
(SuperPoster!)
3,619 hugs
given |
#54
A part of going "no contact" with a narc includes not looking at their social media. I have blocked him on my personal facebook account. I have a separate facebook account for my abuse forums that I created secretly while still with my husband. I didn't want him seeing that I belonged to these groups and wanted to keep my activity private. So I created a fictitious account. I can block him there too, but I admit I have peaked at his profile more than a couple times. I. need to stop and stop being tempted. I cannot care about what he is up to.
I guess a part of me is afraid of seeing him with another woman - which will happen at some point in time. I am not prepared for this. A part of me feels like he belongs to ME. And I know this is irrational and unfair of me - I know this already and am fully aware of the contradiction. I cannot help how I feel though - I cannot help my emotional state. And I know it's going to be hard to see him move on. I am used to his attention being on ME - I know I have to let go, & I am working on it, slowly. It's a process..... I am just not ready yet. A first step will be to block him on my other facebook acct so that I am not tempted to continue looking. I slept with that man again last night too - the one I've already slept with once. I didn't consciously intend upon it, it just sort of happened. We went to a concert and came back to my place afterwards. It does help me to separate from my husband more, but there's a slight twinge of guilt - like I am cheating on him. But I'm not cheating. We're officially filed for divorce now, so I don't truly view it as cheating but it kind of feels that way nonetheless. I have mixed emotions. I think his love bombing and his emotional outpours as of late got to me a bit. I WISH I could believe in him. I WISH I could trust him. I WISH he was different than he really is. I have to stick to my plans no matter how I feel and no matter what my emotions tell me. Emotions lie and can fool us. I have to listen to my head and my logical brain. So that's where I am at. I am a total mess. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Anonymous32448
|
Wise Elder
Have Hope
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,044
(SuperPoster!)
3,619 hugs
given |
#55
Please help me not to weaken under his love bombing! I am very vulnerable right now and I realize this 100%. I feel weakened by my position in life.
UGH! __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Anonymous32448, Buffy01
|
Buffy01
|
Legendary Wise Elder
divine1966
Tired!!!
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,304
(SuperPoster!)
1,274 hugs
given |
#56
Get busy.
Idle time is a sure way to hook up with wrong people and going back to exes. Be actively busy with job search. Be busy with other people and other groups. No not bars you could run into your ex. Other places. Go see your mom. Go volunteer. Every time I went for a wrong dude was when I had too much time doing nothing. Don’t have time to entertain thoughts about ex. How is he love bombing? Why isn’t he blocked? Now we can only say what we think. We can’t stop you from going back to him but you’ll be breaking up again a year from now in the same boat. Or maybe 5 years. Or 10. You want to go through this in your 60s? 70s? It’s not going to be happily ever after. Just too much drama. It’s not healthy to keep breaking up and divorcing and going back. The fact that it’s even happening should be a sign. It’s just no good. If it was good, you’d not be divorcing |
Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Have Hope
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,044
(SuperPoster!)
3,619 hugs
given |
#57
Quote:
He is blocked. His email is now filtered to trash. He hasn't written to me since yesterday, so I am referring to recent previous emails from him. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
|
Guest
Anonymous32448
has no updates.
Edit
Posts: n/a
|
#58
Quote:
Our Have Hope deserves loves but can do a lot better than him |
|
Have Hope
|
Have Hope
|
Wise Elder
Have Hope
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,044
(SuperPoster!)
3,619 hugs
given |
#59
Well, I have blocked him and also told him to stop communicating with me. I said it's impacting my mental health. He hasn't reached out since.
His words are haunting me. His words of "maybe this wasn't the correct course of action". Yesterday was a really really really bad day for me in regards to my marriage. I was missing him, lamenting on the good parts and all the good times. I think I must still be trauma bonded to him, because I wanted so badly to reach out to him. I wanted things to be OK between us again. This was my day yesterday - struggling with all these thoughts and emotions that are pulling me back towards my husband. Instead, I reached out to a girlfriend and asked her to help me to be strong. And, I know it's mainly because I am facing yet another challenging time in my life. I want moral support. But then, I know the real truth - and the real truth of the matter is that IF I did let him back into my life, he would be even more stressed about making ends meet financially, and he would put all of his own stress on me again. I can barely manage my own stress right now. I don't need HIS stress on top of my stress. And that's what it's truly like living with him. I have to manage both our stress, and honestly, it's just too much for me to handle. I know it was just a weak moment - or a weak day. That's all it is. I am remaining steadfast in my stance and I did not reach out to him, despite all my contrary emotions telling me to do so. I have to be stronger than ever before. This circumstance in my life is forcing me to reach a new height in inner strength. It is HARD, I can tell you that. I am struggling for certain, and with each day that passes, it seems to be getting harder, not easier. I wish I could just take a pill that would make me forget all about him. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Anonymous32448
|
Closed Thread |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Forum | |||
I let him back in and now I am kicking myself | Relationships & Communication | |||
Kicking around PC | Bipolar | |||
Kicking myself | Complex PTSD | |||
kicking myself a little | Bipolar |