Person hasn't talked to me in years and now is?

There's a person that I used to be close friends with about 10 years ago. She would call me constantly and keep me on the phone for over an hour talking mostly about herself. She felt she could ask me to do things for her at the drop of a hat (not respecting my time). If I didn't go along with what she wanted, she'd give me what I call "veiled insults". So not the best relationship. She would pepper our conversations with "just wanted to check on you", "just wanted to chat", "I'm glad you are there to listen and I appreciate it". So I would continue the friendship because I felt I had to. One day I finally got sick of the weight of the relationship and fearing if I wasn't there to get her calls (I felt controlled and owned by her) and I stood up for myself telling her how I really felt and that was the end. No more phone calls, no more fear...I felt free and could not have been happier.

Fast forward to now. Ironically I've become friends with a friend of hers and she's seen us talking alot. Now she's stopping to talk to me (no phone calls yet) whenever she sees me and acts really caring saying things such as "are you doing okay?", "I'm still here to talk to", "I'm so happy I ran into you today". Why does she care after all these years? Why do I matter now all of a sudden? I'm thinking it's because she saw me talking to her friend and now she wants into the circle? Maybe she's just lonely? So far I've been keeping her at bay and very guarded when I talk to her. I don't know what to do. I find it all very strange.

youre right - i think the best thing to do here is to just keep doing what youre already doing & continue to keep her at bay and be very guarded when you talk to her..

You don't have to open that door again.

You know how she is *and* you are happier without her in your life - so, take that as your cue regarding what to do.

I think that you should stay away from such people in the future, this communication will not bring anything good.
The phrases she uses are very similar to manipulation, she wants to show that she cares, but on the other hand, it looks like a person keeps you on a short leash.
If I were in a similar situation, I would not let this person come close to me, but keep them at arm's length.
But of course, it's up to you to decide how to behave with her and whether to communicate with her, and I agree with your opinion that it all looks very strange.
Good luck with making the right decision.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovethesun There's a person that I used to be close friends with about 10 years ago. She would call me constantly and keep me on the phone for over an hour talking mostly about herself. She felt she could ask me to do things for her at the drop of a hat (not respecting my time). If I didn't go along with what she wanted, she'd give me what I call "veiled insults". So not the best relationship. She would pepper our conversations with "just wanted to check on you", "just wanted to chat", "I'm glad you are there to listen and I appreciate it". So I would continue the friendship because I felt I had to. One day I finally got sick of the weight of the relationship and fearing if I wasn't there to get her calls (I felt controlled and owned by her) and I stood up for myself telling her how I really felt and that was the end. No more phone calls, no more fear...I felt free and could not have been happier. Fast forward to now. Ironically I've become friends with a friend of hers and she's seen us talking alot. Now she's stopping to talk to me (no phone calls yet) whenever she sees me and acts really caring saying things such as "are you doing okay?", "I'm still here to talk to", "I'm so happy I ran into you today". Why does she care after all these years? Why do I matter now all of a sudden? I'm thinking it's because she saw me talking to her friend and now she wants into the circle? Maybe she's just lonely? So far I've been keeping her at bay and very guarded when I talk to her. I don't know what to do. I find it all very strange.

Yeah, that is not good and you can avoid her like the plague.