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Molinit
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Default Mar 07, 2023 at 07:48 AM
  #21
I agree with everything ArmorPlate108 says!
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Default Mar 07, 2023 at 07:51 AM
  #22
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Originally Posted by Downtroddenred View Post
I don’t think that she’ll get out of control. I’m not sure she’ll answer the door. When she she was served a formal letter ending her tenancy , she told the process server that we are “f***ing a**holes.” And he agreed! We only know this because we have cameras. 🙄
Please do not take the process server's response as how he really feels. They are walking into a very highly charged situation. My brother was a process server and he told me he agreed with EVERYTHING the people said and appeared very empathetic only so he could serve the papers and get out of there without injury.

They are forced to agree with the people - in reality they know that it doesn't come to eviction unless something is wrong about the tenant - either late or non-payment of rent, hoarding, safety issue, etc.
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Default Mar 07, 2023 at 09:20 AM
  #23
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Originally Posted by Molinit View Post
Please do not take the process server's response as how he really feels. They are walking into a very highly charged situation. My brother was a process server and he told me he agreed with EVERYTHING the people said and appeared very empathetic only so he could serve the papers and get out of there without injury.

They are forced to agree with the people - in reality they know that it doesn't come to eviction unless something is wrong about the tenant - either late or non-payment of rent, hoarding, safety issue, etc.
Thanks. I know it. And I know it’s not true, as we have gone above and beyond for her over the last 20 years. Sometimes it just hurts to hear it though especially when you’re trying so hard to do the right thing.
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Default Mar 07, 2023 at 09:23 AM
  #24
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Originally Posted by ArmorPlate108 View Post
Oh gosh, downtroddenred, that isn't a good situation.

I don't think you've ruined your karma. The way she's acting, her karma won't be too good

You obviously care a great deal. You have already done so much insofar as support and even research on her behalf. A bad person wouldn't have done any of what you have. You've gone above and beyond.

The process server was probably just being agreeable to get on with his day.

I don't know if you're asking for advice, but honestly, if it were me, I'd probably take a big step back, disconnect from her, and let her start figuring it out on her own. You are giving her a lot of time to move, and it sounds like you might offer a little more time if she seems like she's making headway. If she knows you're emotionally engaged, she might play on that. Maybe make yourself available for concerns as a landlord, but give her lots of space? Once she thinks you're disengaged emotionally, she may just give up and get on with it.

Many hugs coming your way.
Thank you, you are very wise! I realize I do need to step back. The idea dawned on me much more slowly than others. I am definitely learning a lot of hard lessons at the ripe old age of 47.
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Default Mar 11, 2023 at 09:04 AM
  #25
For anyone following this- 😑
Husband and I Decided to go for lunch at our local diner. It has two dining rooms. We are eating when all of a sudden the host comes in with elderly tenant. We both make eye contact. She abruptly turns around, and announces loudly to the hostess (who’s bewildered) she would like to sit on the other side “where there are decent people”. The other tables sitting in the dining room just looked at her like she was crazy. I wonder if decent people would clean off her car in and dig it out of the 6 inches of snow we got last night? Or the projected foot that we are getting Tuesday?
She has NOT found a place- 😡
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Default Mar 11, 2023 at 11:34 AM
  #26
The saying “no good deed goes unpunished” fits in this situation.
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Default Mar 14, 2023 at 12:07 PM
  #27
Wow, talk about her showing her true colors. I'm sorry that happened to you. I bet the other diners felt uncomfortable.
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Default Mar 14, 2023 at 01:10 PM
  #28
Not only she is rude but she also acts entitled like you are under obligation to host her in your property indefinitely. Shame. You can catch more flies with honey. It kind of explains why her family stirs away, what a terrible behavior
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Default Mar 15, 2023 at 09:36 PM
  #29
Exhausted and heading to bed- but what a day! We overheard her telling lies and huge exaggerations about us today. Really hurtful stuff. I haven’t dealt with such treatment since high school. Every adult I’ve associated with is more mature than this woman. I’m utterly spent and shocked by her comments. More to follow tomorrow- need to try to put aside and sleep a bit. But thank you everyone for listening-
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Default Mar 16, 2023 at 05:41 AM
  #30
So yesterday was difficult. We have a co-joined basement. The basements are separate but there is a large opening so all of the pipes and utilities can run next door for her. We are in either our basement or her basement several times a day. We keep supplies for our business downstairs, as well as extra food supplies, the cat pan, etc. So we make frequent basement trips throughout the day. When we’re down there we can pretty much hear everything she says. It’s not a finished basement, we don’t hang out there by any means but I do spend some time down there every day. Yesterday we overheard her talking to someone. Oh my God the things she was saying. Please keep in mind up until a few weeks ago I considered this woman a friend, and I was extremely concerned for her well-being. Most of what she said was outright lies, but some more exaggerations. One could consider them slander, except our lawyer says slander is only a thing when you lose money from somebody else speaking and love you. She is just spreading malicious gossip and lies. My husband and I have been blessed enough to run a successful online business the last few years so we work from home. He also works outside of the house. His outside job provides us insurance, etc. I handle every single inside chore and responsibility. And then we work on the online side hustle which has turned out to be more lucrative than his full-time job! She accused us both being extremely lazy and that we don’t do anything all day. (We typically work seven days a week at this. Often put in a combined 12 hours a day. )That our side hustle is illegal. (Selling on eBay) That the packages and supplies that go in an out for the side hustle have to either be illegal goods or worse! She said we don’t work enough to support our children – which could not be further from the truth! We both work hard every day, and my husband is sometimes a literally exhausted. Yesterday he worked six hours, physical labor, no break. He came home to rest before he went out to shovel snow. She was complaining that her walkway was not done yet. She said so many other things. We got a true taste of her personality and a lot of things makes sense now. I have never known a 76-year-old woman to be so vindictive and spiteful and calculating. I haven’t dealt with someone this malicious I don’t think since high school! It’s utterly exhausting. And it’s going to be a long summer before we can get her out-
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Default Mar 16, 2023 at 09:48 AM
  #31
It’s when you say no and set boundaries that you begin to discover who another person is. Obviously this woman never took the time to know you but instead basically just used you to service her own needs.

It can be very disappointing to discover another person is not what you thought. Yes, now you are seeing why her children completely distanced from her.
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Default Mar 17, 2023 at 07:30 AM
  #32
Thank you- So very true! I personally checked on the waiting list of some of the senior housing and they are so long- most are a year. A few are six months. I am getting worried the eviction will take a long time. I’m sorry to have lost a friend, I certainly feel stupid for caring so much. But I just want to move forward. This will definitely be a difficult few months til we get to that point.
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