I have been in an abusive relationship for 27 years.

Hey there... you're welcome. Glad I can help. You are definitely not alone.

Be prepared for him to change directions and to start begging and pleading for you not to divorce. Even though he said he wants a divorce.

Abusers typically have trouble letting their victim go.

Mine has tried to hold onto me with a tight grip...

it's been a battle, in so many ways..

and I've made mistakes along the way through our separation and divorce process. I've slept with my ex, despite us going through a divorce.

He is making all these promises, of change.. which is very common for abusers once you decide you're done and want to truly leave. They don't like being abandoned. And there is their battle.

So, just be prepared for the unexpected.

He may/may not fight you on this. If he's already secured another victim, then he may not. But, even with another victim lined up, abusers are still known to pursue.

Feel free to PM me, if you want, because I've been through it all. I am happy to provide any support you may need. I know how hard it is.. it's an up and down and emotional process. But be resolute in your decision. That's the best advice I can give.. that will carry you through. Hugs and strength to you.

Thank you RD Mercer for your encouraging words. I was afraid being labeled as a divorced woman. I was afraid that one day my children get married without a full set of parents by their sides. I was afraid that people would laugh at me for not be able to nurture a tiny family. I was afraid that I could not handle my fragile feelings. All in all, I have so much fear and doubts. Today and moving forward I will be strong and will have no fear to get through the end of a tunnel where the bright light will await for me. Thanks again.

No one will laugh at you. I don’t agree about fragile feelings. You aren’t responsible or at fault for your husband’s rude and abusive behaviors.

Very high percentage of marriages end in divorce and it’s typically not because people couldn’t nurture their family.

Well so your kids could still have a set of parents getting married. Parents just won’t be married to each other. You won’t stop being parents.

Ideally all marriages will be happy and last forever. But if they are miserable and it’s abusive situation then it’s better it won’t last forever. Your children don’t need to witness abuse

You can do it. You sound very strong

Thank you so much Divine1966! I have to be strong in order for me to move forward. I have lived in fear for too long and it is now or never. Thanks again for all the supports.

@Elephantmangos please use caution moving forward if your choice is divorce. If a spouse is prone to rage and strike out it can get dangerous.

In violent relationships its best to leave when he is not there. Then get a solicitor involved and only have contact through the solicitor

note. thank you so much for your advice.