Helping my 21 year old daughter

I'd like to start by explaining there was the time in our relationship when my daughter did not live with me. She was alienated from me by her father and his then girlfriend and lived with them approximately for years. This was extremely difficult for me and I ended up inpatient at that time.

My daughter and the girlfriend got into a very big fight when she was 18 and she moved back home. She had friends over drinking and smoking weed all the time. We clashed over it many times. Last year in January we got into another argument and she punched me in the nose. I kicked her out. I believe she has explosive disorder and possibly bipolar.

So then I was living alone and I do not do well alone. She was needing a place to stay and of course I'm her mom and have a big heart and I am a doormat so I welcomed her back in. We discussed how things would go and we talk about things after we have disagreements. We're very conscious of each other's feelings. And we really are making Headway. But now I have to move. She wasn't supposed to be living with me because I have housing assistance for one person. Most young people live at home still.

Now with us both scrambling to find a place she has decided to go to school and live on campus. With her dog. Wants to certify him as a support animal.
Normally this would be a good idea but she works overnights and it's exhausted and Moody and sleeps during the day. Then she picks up my grandson from daycare.
I truly don't feel she is in the mindset or has the motivation or energy to give School the attention in order to succeed. Also she is trying to get housing because she doesn't want to pay for an apartment and end up like me. In poverty.

I can see this becoming a failure but I guess I just have to let her figure it out.

Sent from my LM-G710VM using Tapatalk

The hardest part of parenting is letting your adult kids learn on their own.

How old is she now?


I think you need to separate her needs from your needs. You've mentioned that you don't do well alone. A lot of people have this issue but it's so important to conquer those fears. Maybe a therapist could help? There are big plusses to living alone. Google great things about living alone. You can do this.

She needs to make her own choices even if she's not ready. Maybe she will rise to the challenge. Or if she doesn't do well, she can always stop and go back later. I initially didn't do well at university, took a break and went back and got high grades.

Good advice... Thank you

Sent from my LM-G710VM using Tapatalk