Does this strike you as a bit strange?

@unaluna - This gal contacted me without knowing me from a hole in the wall. All I can remember is that we both attended the same wedding of a mutual relative a very long time ago. Also, I think I bumped into her at a funeral. So you're right about there not being anything special about me that lured her. We weren't previously in each other's company long enough to know one another. I don't have a sparkling personality that would readily make an impact on others at a social event. I also wonder, "Why now?" - when those events were over 15 years ago? Plus, I live at the opposite end of the country.

It truly does seem that this person is attempting to fill a void, though she mentions having friends and other relatives that she seems involved with. Also she is in a stable, longterm relationship. She has no kids, which may leave her with spare time on her hands.

I'm kind of a loner, which sorta suits me. She sounds very friendly. Some people seem to need constant contact with others, as if being alone is to be avoided at all cost. I tend to be a sympathetic listener, or so I'm told. I tend to attract others who seem very hungry to be listened to. They usually have sad stories to share about how they've been let down in life. They sound like they need to be in therapy. I've got to stop seeming so available, as a shoulder. For that, I blame myself . . . that I give off the impression that I've got nothing better to do.

If it was a mistake to give her/them a lot of time, you are allowed to correct the mistake by giving them a lot less time, or no time, in the future. You are not locked in, forever, because of that mistake.

I myself would be especially wary of the one who wants you to stay with her when you see family. I myself would stay far away from her. In my view. that was way too much closeness being proposed for what your relationship with her was before her "love bombing" began. If she gets upset, so be it, she gets upset.

@Bill3 - Thanks for your post. I think you're right. I have to stop thinking that "I set a precedent" that somehow obligates me.

One idea that helps me a bit is considering that this may not represent total innocent friendliness on her part. She wasn't born yesterday. She may sense that I feel kind of stuck being receptive to these advances . . . and she's taking advantage of that. I'm probably not the first person she has "love bombed." If I disappoint her, she's probably been through that before, but just won't give up this strategy of expanding her social contacts.

Now I have the second person to deal with. I did promise her a phone call. I'll make it, but not offer any extending commitments. I have a headache now.