Asking for other people's phone number

Yeah some people can't take the hint even if it's super blunt.

Oh yes I hate it when people ask me to give them someone else's number even if it's family. It feels intrusive and the other person may not want them to have it.

Yeah a middle ground is a good idea but also making sure there's a very good reason for asking.

Yep same here.

Yeah that's a situation where it's okay to ask for someone's number but unfortunately some people still won't give it to you like in the example you used.

Rose, so true. My number was once given out like that with consequences that were far-reaching.

On a different note, have you ever considered writing an etiquette column for a newspaper @Rose76? You would be fantastic at that.

I hate it when people give out my number without permission as well.

I’ve been thinking so much about connections, communication, etc. after reading about our loneliness epidemic in this country. It’s also in the UK, Canada to name just two. It was on the news too. This was going on before Covid lockdowns and isolation and that made it even worse of course. We humans are a lonely lot, in spite of being social creatures by nature. The Surgeon General says our culture needs to change. That’s a tall order. I think American culture is superficial to begin with anyway.

I don’t think the people who are ghosting people are the same ones feeling lonely. That would be self sabotage.

Even the verbiage used implies relationships that aren’t really there. We have “connections” on LinkedIn and “friends” on Facebook. Yet I didn’t connect with any contact on LinkedIn, business reasons or not. They didn’t respond to my messages and I eventually deleted my account. I was never on Facebook. We say “followers” too like people hang on your every move or word.

On the subject of calls, one time someone gave my number out without asking. It was for business reasons but I still didn’t like it. I think it was from interviewing at a company and the interviewer gave my number to a recruiter. I told her I would have liked to have been asked. She said she didn’t think I’d mind. She thought wrong. And that was in the 80’s when it was easier to keep your number private.

And so as far as our numbers and other personal data, it feels like a losing battle keeping one’s information private in this digital age. And harder to get a human when calling a company especially a large one. They want you to go online for everything eliminating human contact. I think it’s about money.

I do think people can give out numbers out of politeness like the lady at the library I was acquainted with. I’m too lazy to see if I posted here or in another thread, but I gave her my number. I didn’t ask for hers but she gave it to me. She also claimed her phone was out of order. She never did call me nor did I call her. My bs radar picked up bs and I doubt her phone is still out of order after one year.



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And after all that I forgot to say I wish I had a close knit GROUP of friends like on the show A Million Little Things. The series finale is tonight. I know it’s a tv show so I wonder how many people actually have groups like that, given the loneliness epidemic.

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I agree, I doubt the ones ghosting others are lonely since it would be self sabotage. At the very least, they are ghosting someone they no longer like or never liked and they decided to treat the person they're ghosting the same way someone treated them. Yeah I can see your frustration with people giving out your number without permission, the recruiter probably meant well but it can still feel invasive. Also yes people definitely give out their number out of politeness and obligation, that's why I always let them initiate contact unless I absolutely have to contact them first.

Yeah a nice group of friends would be nice but I never truly had a good group since college and even that group was a bit shady. I currently have just one friend but I don't get too close to her due to her on and off behavior which hints that she isn't someone you can get close to. She's one of those people who say you guys are best friends but deep down inside you know it's really not true. Another actual group would be nice though at some point but that most likely won't happen since most adults only have 1-3 friends and usually they're not friends with each other or even know each other which is okay to be honest.

I haven’t had that since I was around that age either and we weren’t exactly CLOSE close, but we knew each other and hung out. Hence I live through my tv shows. Same with the close family on Blue Bloods. On and off behavior is definitely not someone to count on, so not a real friend.

Supposedly most adults do just have 1 or 2 real friends but if they know each other, that could be a mixed bag. They could end up talking about you, that’s happened to me. Or they gossip about someone we both know. Adults, not teens!

I see so many people on their phones all the time and I wonder now who are they talking to. I wonder if they are close friends or just acquaintances. Or someone they know online only. Same with groups of people I see. Are they real friends?



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Yep exactly, basically she is one of those friends that you can hang out with to just enjoy some company but I wouldn't count on her to be there when things get bad or for her to stay if she found someone else she'd rather spend time with. Honestly I think most people are like that, it's so common that I just never get close to anyone. In fact, I do remember someone else responded on a thread I created a while back that when people say they're best friends with you or even just close friends, that's probably how they feel at that particular moment in time but that feeling may be fluid and could change very quickly which makes perfect sense. I've seen people who claim they are the closest of friends and who are seen literally everywhere together just suddenly hate each others guts which is actually quite sad seeing that happen to be honest.

I’ve had “friends” like that. Notice I say HAD. She added no value to my life at all and is not in it now.

I AM close to one person and have had close friends before. But it’s getting harder as I get older and they seem more fluid than before. I don’t expect things to last. “Fair weather friends” are easy to find but not ones that stick by you through thick and thin. Just one more close friend would go a long way. And I know some people have friends they have known since childhood, going through life together. I never had that. I don’t see how they pull that off really.

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Yep most friendships are fluid, I don’t expect anything to last either. I agree fair weather friends are easy to find, I think most people are fair weather friends and have fair weather friends. In terms of people having friendships since childhood, I actually think most of them had a small hiatus in the friendship where they weren’t talking and it doesn’t even have to be for a bad reason. Just the passage of time can separate people and bring them back together, I never had a life long friendship either.

I’m not a fair weather friend and you don’t sound like one either.

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Oh thanks and I'm glad you're not a fair weather friend.