What does this mean? I think I’m only being tolerated.

Tart Cherry Jam · May 02, 2023 at 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jesyka

I have tried coed meetups. The same thing happens. I gor ignored in a movie group before. Seats were saved for everyone but me & orher people had people to talk to but me. I tried to talk to people with no success.

Oh, one would feel crummy after such an experience. I now concur with the recommendation above to invest into the relationship with the one true friend that you have rather than try to diversify by forming shallow connections (which you cannot actually form at the moment).

Tart Cherry Jam · May 02, 2023 at 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul

I would like to add another experience of meetup. I joined a hobby group ran by a man.It was a mixed group.I liked this group and nobody was toxic towards me.But later I was told there were these two women in this group who were fighting for the attention of the group leader who was single.He was a nice person and was being really friendly towards me.That is when I was told( warned) about the two contenders already trying to win him over.I was not there to look for a romantic interest.I continued attending because the group was nice overall. But soon enough I didn't want to caught up in triangulation because people started noticing he was being very friendly to me.I might end up getting caught in the s#@t storm of jealousy from these two women. So I stopped going.

@Mendingmysoul it is a shame that the jealousies of these two dueling women prevented you from having fun. It should not be like that: you should be able to enjoy yourself and eff their jealousies. I did in my twenties something similar to what you did and many decades later am regretting it.

jesyka · May 03, 2023 at 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam

Oh, one would feel crummy after such an experience. I now concur with the recommendation above to invest into the relationship with the one true friend that you have rather than try to diversify by forming shallow connections (which you cannot actually form at the moment).

Yeah. I think they were trying to tell me that I wasn’t welcome there without having to kick me out of the group. The two organizers talked to everyone but me. Weird!

Mendingmysoul · May 04, 2023 at 11:30 PM

I get it when you say how you were made to feel not welcomed. That's how I was made to feel too. And the lady who was the organizer just sat with her own group and didn't care much about anyone else.

Mendingmysoul · May 04, 2023 at 11:36 PM

TartCherryJam, that's ok for me to stop going.I still have good memories of being in that group.I avoid confrontations. I already suffer from a lot of trauma.I can't handle more.The reason I joined groups at the time is to find a distraction to heal.What is the point of going ,if more trauma and drama is coming towards me?

Tart Cherry Jam · May 04, 2023 at 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul

TartCherryJam, that's ok for me to stop going.I still have good memories of being in that group.I avoid confrontations. I already suffer from a lot of trauma.I can't handle more.The reason I joined groups at the time is to find a distraction to heal.What is the point of going ,if more trauma and drama is coming towards me?

I think you would have definitely gotten drama had you stayed, but not necessarily trauma, but I might be wrong. In any event, I read about the trauma you suffered on your own God Complex thread and understand why you would want to steer clear of any likelihood of more trauma.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Dilemma with former friend - can't believe I have tolerated this for so long!	worriedfear	Relationships & Communication	7	Aug 24, 2018 07:42 PM

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

What does this mean? I think I’m only being tolerated.

My Support Forums

Mendingmysoul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 907 4 807 hugs given	May 04, 2023 at 11:30 PM #24 I get it when you say how you were made to feel not welcomed. That's how I was made to feel too. And the lady who was the organizer just sat with her own group and didn't care much about anyone else.
	Reply With Quote

Mendingmysoul Grand Member Member Since Aug 2019 Location: Here Posts: 907 4 807 hugs given	May 04, 2023 at 11:36 PM #25 TartCherryJam, that's ok for me to stop going.I still have good memories of being in that group.I avoid confrontations. I already suffer from a lot of trauma.I can't handle more.The reason I joined groups at the time is to find a distraction to heal.What is the point of going ,if more trauma and drama is coming towards me?
	Reply With Quote