Does anyone else have trouble making new adult friends, especially with other women?

I know that a couple of other women on here have had this issue. With me though, it’s so bad, that I’m 95% certain that I’ll completely give up on even trying anymore soon.

I tried to meet orher adult women on a social media site. 27 women messaged me breifly. They expressed interest in wanting to meet, but then I never heard from them again.

I only met 6 women in person. Only one lady actually contacted me back to hang out again. The other 5 seemed nice, but I neverheard back from them.

The last two women were women that I clicked with the most & although they said they’d like to meet me again, I haven’t heard back from them in over a week.

It’s still to soon, but time will tell if they were serious or not. Two women are still messaging me.

One of them had a second death in the family. One of them is always busy spending time with her kids or family.

I blocked & deleted 5 or 6 self absorbed women who only talked about themselves. I didn’t think I’d click with one woman, so I didn’t bother meeting her

One woman flaked on me twice, so I gave up on her. I had a feeling she was making up excuses.

I’ll meet one lady for the second time this week. Hopefully she won’t flake out on me. I didn’t hear back from her one time & I almost gave up thinking she wasn’t in talking to me anymore.

This is so frustrating! Why is it so hard to make friends with other women?

I wish that I could meet some actual nice & respectful guys who are fine with having a platonic friendship, but that isn’t possible it seems like.

So that is why I’m sticking to trying to associate with orher women only.

I kept things light & didn’t complain about anything with these women I talked to.

It seems to me that a lot of women are extremely picky & that they only want to associate with other women who are similar to them. The women I met know that I don’t have a good career like most of them do.

And most of them have kids too. I don’t. Maybe they rejected me for that. Idk.

The two I clicked with the most don’t have any kids. They both felt like they’ve been judged unfairly by most people too.

I have definitely went out of my comfort zone to make friends! No one can understand how hard this is for someone with social anxiety except for those people who have social anxiety & similar issues.

This is way, way to much work with almost no payoff! It’s like trying to find a job. I feel like I went through a ton of job interviews & only ended up getting one offer that wasn’t my first choice, ugh!!!!!

Eff this, I’m done! I’m sick of being the one to do most of the intiating, the listening, etc.

I’m done with the excuses that sound questionable at time & b.s too. I don’t expect much & I’m a genuinely nive person. Maybe the fact that I’m shy & introverted is off putting to most people, idk.

People expect way to much put of me & judge me to quickly. I’m just done with this b.s!

It seems like most of the time only selfish self absorbed people or people who don’t really have any or very few friends because of having certain issues like mental health issues that might annoy or be to much to handle for most people ever want to be my friend. I’d rather have no friends than toxic one!

The few that I have left are more like acquaintances than friends. I only have one real friend now, ugh.

Please no rude or judgemental replies . I already have enough issue dealing with clinical depression, anxiety, and other things.

I find it extremely hard too, to make new friends. I have social anxiety as well. Maybe we can be friends !! Lol. Where are u located?,, probably too far, but worth a try

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Sorry to hear that. OK, we can be friends if you like. I’m located in N. Ca. You?

It’s hard to make friends.

I doubt anyone rejects you due to not having children. Two of my best friends don’t have children and it doesn’t affect their ability to meet people.

Making friends is hard. I’d say you are doing better than many others. 27 women on social media? I probably don’t even know 27 people.lol

I am not sure you are shy and introverted if you could talk to that many people. I think making friends with people you meet online is hard. You don’t know them. How much do you have in common? What’s the common ground? I think maybe connecting via hobby groups or some type of mutual interests is easier. Maybe you aren’t connecting because you have nothing in common with these women.

I am not sure about meeting platonic friends online. If I was contacted by a random woman online and asked to go out with her, it would be awkward. And I am not shy. Maybe it would be easier if it was a group activity. Less awkward

I do understand difficulty of making friends. It really is hard. But there’s only that much time in the day or a week to hang out with friends so people might not have it in them. It’s not easy

And honestly some people just make friends easily and some don’t. My daughter makes friends with anyone, she’d be friends with lampposts. Like she makes friends everywhere all the time and she enjoys it. I don’t make friends left and right, but I also have no desire or energy for it.

I’ve always had a couple of girlfriends, but never more than that. I don’t often meet, have much in common, really hit it off to where we become close friends with new women. I recently made a friend where I moved to, but it’s taken over a year for us to warm up. Neither of us pursued the friendship that often. I didn’t want her to feel bombarded by me, and maybe she felt the same. But our friendship has grown some now.

I guess, being in relationships with men, boyfriends or husband, that took up all my time. Girlfriends never made it a priority to get together. I rarely did a “girls night”. The girlfriends when married, were parts of couples where we went out with the husbands more often than just us girls alone.

This post got me remembering more and thought I’d share. Back in the day, I got invited to Tupperware, Pampered Chef parties, things like that. I got invited because they wanted to sell something. I went in order to show up and be nice, and bought something out of obligation. There was also a group of women playing a game, Pokino. There were prizes involved. I won the jackpot and never got invited back, lol.

I wish I had friends (people who completely accept me) going places on weekends having fun enjoying life. But I have none and life is so boring.

Well, I’m definitely being rejected for something. I know that not everyone is going to like me, but come on now, I was rejected by 27 women online that I never met plus 5 out of the 6 women that I recently did meet.

Btw, I put a post up on this one site & a lot of women contacted me then. I then contacted the women who were interested in meeting me in person. I didn’t just message random women, lol.

And trust me, I’m shy & introverted. I feel like I have no other choice but to put myself out there as it is extremely rare for anyone to even talk to me, let alone invite me to hang out with them! I wish that people would approach me first! That has only happened twice in 25 years! I’m not kidding!

I almost always get ignored in groups & most other places, so meetup & group situations are out of the question. I hate groups so much, that I have fought my husband on attending weddings & socializing with his family & friends who I mostly despise for being rude & dismissive to me.

I really hate groups. I get ignored even at events to where a few people know me. I don’t know why that is. They’d rather talk to their cooler & more popular friends I guess.

One guy even ditched me at a party the whole night! I was his platonic plus one. My husband hates parties too. So he didn’t go with me.

I felt like such a loser. I’ll never ever go to ant party again, especially to where I don’t really know anyone there.

I’m dead serious about giving up on everyone completely. I’m sick of doing all the work & getting almost nothing in return for my efforts.

As I said before, I have had so many bad experiences that it’s surprising that I didn’t give up a long time ago. I’ve been lied about, bullied, judged, mistreated, etc.

I’ve had it with selfish people who try to use me as a free therapist too. If things with these women don’t work out, then I’m done for good.

At least you made one friend. A lot of women prioritize boyfriends & husbands over friends usually. Some people prefer to do things as a couple it seems like. Those kind of people aren’t for me.

Wow, some women have no shame! Sorry to hear that you were tricked into attending a ‘party’. Youre nicer than I could ever be as I’d just leave & never talk to the person who invited me there again, lol 😆

Sorry to hear that. Have you tried making any friends? It’s very difficult obviously, but you need to try to put some effort into it like I did. Maybe you’ll get lucky or maybe not.

I don’t have the Midas touch like my fake sister does unfortunately which sucks, so I have to work hard at making friends.

Yeah we’ve talked about it on here before, I won’t bang on about it but I do think volunteering is worth considering especially as you’re not working. I get an inkling it might be the environment you’ve been trying, online socialising is often superficial/not genuine in my experience. Please don’t read that as criticism, because I think you’re a genuine person, but you’re in the wrong environment.

Anyhow, I understand how frustrating it is, I’m the kind of person who has many acquaintances but not many friends, and I agree it can be exhausting trying to make and establish friendships. Taking a break seems like a sensible option, I’m certainly in that phase myself.

This was a big way that it was living in the suburbs in USA. The groups of women get togethers didn’t feel like real friendship. It was more supporting each other in their business endeavors, or exchanging prizes. It was nice where they’d serve alcohol and snacks, and we all had social talk, but it never felt like real friendship. And I felt an obligation to go. If I didn’t, I felt they’d think I was a snob and unsupportive. I wasn’t really looking for much deeper friendship to forge in these groups. There would be the friend who invited me, I was like a friend of a friend of the hostess usually. The friendships were just superficial. But this was just the way it was IME.

Plus, with a husband, they wouldn’t want their wife to be too often spending much time with girlfriends during the time the husband wanted to spend with the wife. During the days, everyone was busy with jobs. There were country club type women who played tennis during the days together, but I didn’t do that.

The friends I became truly close with, lived next door and we were in each other’s houses, having our own Happy Hour, really sharing about our lives, really friends. Or I have tried to maintain old friends, keeping in touch, preserving that. But, even most all of those real best friends have moved on and we aren’t in touch anymore. I wish that weren’t the case, but that’s just how that went.

This new friend lives in my building and we have Happy Hour together and are sharing, laughing, enjoying each other. It feels like a real friend. But, we maybe only get together once every other week at this point. She has a bf who visits every weekend and doesn’t see me then.

What are your expectations for a friendship? What have been your good friendship experiences?

Volunteering is a good idea. It doesn’t need to be in a group or physically hard. Serving meals in a soup kitchen etc It’s a good way to help others, make yourself feel good and maybe make some friends.

I honestly don’t think meeting new friends online would work unless maybe they are pursuing same hobby or it’s a site for shared interests. If it’s just random people (and by random I mean you know nothing about them), then there’s no foundation and it’s very unlikely to work in a long run

Interesting thread jesyka. I get my social needs met through my job & family, but yeah, if I didn’t have those two things, I would be struggling socially. I don’t have friends to speak of. I was recently asked to be part of a an exclusive group on goodreads though, so that was unexpected.

Social gatherings were also around charitable organizations and schools/sports for the kids. Yes, they all involved giving money and services for a good cause, though.

Yeah the tupperware parties were all cousins and inlaws and aunts, so you kinda had to go.

I would say many if not most people find friends thru their jobs. Or hobbies, like walking or running clubs. Or neighbors.

Yes, gatherings fueled by guilt, lol.

I remember what you said. No offense was taken btw. I tried volunteering before with no luck. People who volunteer aren’t usually there to make new friends. I have met most of my friends online as an adult. Sad, I know.

Another lady flaked on me today, ufgh. I keep on getting the busy excuse. Only time will tell if they were actually busy, something did happen, or they made up excuses to blow me off in a ‘nice’ way.

I really am going to just give up completely soon if things don’t work out this time permanently & not even bother trying to socialize with anyone ever again.

What’s the point when I keep getting rejected by everyone but parasites who want to use me for their own benefit? No thanks!

I’d rather just stick to the few friends that I have now then deal with anymore toxic b.s drama!

I wouldn’t have called those women friends. Hiw did you meet your actual friends?

As for what I’m looking for, I don’t expect thar much. I have actually lowered my expectations over the years. I almost always give most people the benefit of the doubt if they seem nice & not flaky.

I’d like to meet people who ate honest, genuine, kind, not flaky, trustworthy, not overly gossipy, judgemental or the jealous type, fun, funny, smart, open minded, reliable, a good communicator, not passive aggressive, doesn’t use hard drugs, not extremely religious, can accept me for myself & not try to change me.

And people who share most of my interests. Especially when it comes to music, movies & traveling. It’d be a plys if they also liked shopping, hair, makeup, reading, going out to eat & trying new restaurants. & food, and like going to concerts & festivals too.

I’m lucky if I can find anyone who even likes at least 3 of the same things as I do. Most people that I meet tend to be set in their ways & not like going out that much it seems like.

If they do, they’re often content to go to the same places doing the dame things usually. Most of my friends don’t even like going to new restaurants. That’s how set in their ways they are.

Ugh! I’ll probably just give up on everyone permanently soon. I can’t deal with the constant rejection anymore.