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Default Jun 03, 2023 at 12:23 PM
  #1
Anyone deal with situations where if they say or do something then it's frowned upon or people may question it but then if someone else does or says the exact same thing, it's suddenly a great idea or it's suddenly so funny? There has been times when I would make a joke and others would respond by telling me to never say that again but then a minute or two later, someone else makes that exact same or similar joke and everyone thinks it's hilarious. This can apply to sharing ideas too, you share an idea and everyone thinks it's stupid or it's blown off but then it's widely accepted as soon as someone else shares the same idea. It can even apply to doing various tasks, you may see someone doing something a certain way and everyone thinks it's such a great and effective idea but then you're questioned and given weird looks if you do the exact same thing.

Sometimes I think it's their way of making things difficult or showing a sense of superiority over you especially if there's an age gap, it's as if they believe it's okay for them to say or do something but you're not because you're not liked or wanted as much. In a way, it can also come off as a popularity issue where your ideas and jokes are more widely accepted if you're more popular among a group of people than if you're an outsider or quieter overall. When this happens, it sends a subtle message that they don't really care about what you have to say or do because you're not good enough in their eyes. It basically shows they don't respect you as much or don't see you as a valuable part of the group, there are some exceptions which is understandable but otherwise it shows where you stand in the minds of others.
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Default Jun 03, 2023 at 05:10 PM
  #2
You got it! It's to put you down.

Years ago, I submitted a suggestion for improvement in job XYZ because... well... they were encouraging employees to submit ways of improving work. The manager told me that there was no time to do what I was suggesting. Three weeks later, she took credit for my idea.

As for me, I either have to ignore it or keep moving to a place where I am valued.

On that note... I have made my own decisions in life and, although not all worked out, am glad I went with what I wanted to do rather than what people were expecting of me. So, if you have an idea, and someone ignores it or disrespects you, keep moving. That's on them and not on you.

You mention age gap, and while I agree, I also consider sex is another way to put down people.

I was told I would never amount to anything Consider the source of these comments.... are they from people you want to be like or would take serious advice from because they lead such wonderful lives? I bet you not
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Default Jun 03, 2023 at 05:34 PM
  #3
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You got it! It's to put you down.

Years ago, I submitted a suggestion for improvement in job XYZ because... well... they were encouraging employees to submit ways of improving work. The manager told me that there was no time to do what I was suggesting. Three weeks later, she took credit for my idea.

As for me, I either have to ignore it or keep moving to a place where I am valued.

On that note... I have made my own decisions in life and, although not all worked out, am glad I went with what I wanted to do rather than what people were expecting of me. So, if you have an idea, and someone ignores it or disrespects you, keep moving. That's on them and not on you.

You mention age gap, and while I agree, I also consider sex is another way to put down people.

I was told I would never amount to anything Consider the source of these comments.... are they from people you want to be like or would take serious advice from because they lead such wonderful lives? I bet you not
I'm sorry you went through that, I agree it's definitely a way of putting you down. For some reason, they don't want you to be the one to come up with a good idea or do something a certain way but they're okay if others they like do. Also I agree gender plays a role, I forgot to mention that but I've noticed both genders put each other down in different ways especially in the workplace. I've heard coworkers of the opposite gender flat out say that they're the better gender, it creates a toxic work environment.

Last edited by rdgrad15; Jun 03, 2023 at 06:04 PM..
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Default Jun 07, 2023 at 05:15 PM
  #4
Some people can just get away with some stuff while others can't.

I had a coworker who could say whatever she wanted to and not get into any trouble. She said one time "I ain't sucking **** to become manager." When the manager was literally in the breakroom. I'm not sure my coworker saw her. All the manager said was "and thats why your not a manager."

I casually called my cat an asshole one time and everyone was like "did you just swear?!" I didn't get in trouble but it made its way around the store that Mountaindewed had said a mild swear word.

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Default Jun 07, 2023 at 07:33 PM
  #5
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Some people can just get away with some stuff while others can't.

I had a coworker who could say whatever she wanted to and not get into any trouble. She said one time "I ain't sucking **** to become manager." When the manager was literally in the breakroom. I'm not sure my coworker saw her. All the manager said was "and thats why your not a manager."

I casually called my cat an asshole one time and everyone was like "did you just swear?!" I didn't get in trouble but it made its way around the store that Mountaindewed had said a mild swear word.
Wow your coworker has a big attitude problem and somehow got away with it. Yeah people like to blow things up and spread gossip.
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Smile Jun 11, 2023 at 01:36 PM
  #6
I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but I'm reminded of my book club where I started to sit in this seat. It happened to be next to the ones at the head of the table. A woman told me the girls that run the group usually occupy that seat or the head of the table, steering me to another seat.

The next week two women go and sit at the head of the table, and nobody objected. However the woman that told me those seats are usually taken came in late. I wonder if she would have said anything to those two women.

I sit where I want, and if it happens again I'll say why is it okay for some people to do it but not me? I didn't think of it at the time. Anyway I chose that seat because it's next to the girls, and I didn't want to be last in saying what I think of the book. They always go in the same direction, so I knew if I sat there I'd be among the first to speak.

The woman who objected is a pain anyway, and I'm glad she doesn't come each week. Overbearing woman who dominates the discussion too.

About the rest of your post, it has happened to me that if someone says (or posts something, like on here) similar to me, THEIR comment or post gets the kudos but not mine. I said the same thing. WTH? I've found some people always get the thanks, recognition, or acknowledgement no matter what you do. They seem entitled and everyone else thinks so too.



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Default Jun 12, 2023 at 09:19 AM
  #7
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I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but I'm reminded of my book club where I started to sit in this seat. It happened to be next to the ones at the head of the table. A woman told me the girls that run the group usually occupy that seat or the head of the table, steering me to another seat.

The next week two women go and sit at the head of the table, and nobody objected. However the woman that told me those seats are usually taken came in late. I wonder if she would have said anything to those two women.

I sit where I want, and if it happens again I'll say why is it okay for some people to do it but not me? I didn't think of it at the time. Anyway I chose that seat because it's next to the girls, and I didn't want to be last in saying what I think of the book. They always go in the same direction, so I knew if I sat there I'd be among the first to speak.

The woman who objected is a pain anyway, and I'm glad she doesn't come each week. Overbearing woman who dominates the discussion too.

About the rest of your post, it has happened to me that if someone says (or posts something, like on here) similar to me, THEIR comment or post gets the kudos but not mine. I said the same thing. WTH? I've found some people always get the thanks, recognition, or acknowledgement no matter what you do. They seem entitled and everyone else thinks so too.


It sounds like that one lady just wanted to have control over where you can sit, I hate it when people do that when there's no real reason for it since seats that are truly reserved usually have a sign or a piece of paper stating so. Also it's super common for people to like and acknowledge posts other people have made on social media but not me, that's why I really don't post anything on FB and Instagram because people really don't care and some stuff people don't want to know either. I agree though it seems like the only reason they're not liking something you posted even if it's identical to what other people have posted is because it's you, you could even be the first to post something really cool and no one will bat an eye but then everyone loves it when someone else posts the same exact thing. It makes it seem like people are choosing not to acknowledge something online or even something you brought up in real life just because it came specifically from you, they will gladly give someone else the acknowledgment if they post the exact same thing or state the same thing in real life.
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Angry Jun 12, 2023 at 10:59 AM
  #8
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snip:

It makes it seem like people are choosing not to acknowledge something online or even something you brought up in real life just because it came specifically from you, they will gladly give someone else the acknowledgment if they post the exact same thing or state the same thing in real life.
Yeah, I'm starting to feel like not being the cool kid in high school again. I go to Goodreads and they've added buttons to vote up or down on somebody's posts! It's only on certain screens thankfully. Honestly why is that necessary to put people down?? I swear I won't post in those screens. They made other changes to the site I don't like.

I even stopped writing reviews because I rarely get any "likes" after being on the site since 2012. But others can get HUNDREDS just from writing crap like "This book was awesome! I couldn't put it down." What nonsense is THAT?? That's not a real review. The site that I go for cosmetics has a "helpful" and "not helpful" button. If you don't find something useful, does everyone have to know it, including the poster? Yelp does this too, which I long abandoned. Not all reviews even get counted, and I see the same votes of up/down there too.

Sigh---either in the real world or online, getting heard or acknowledged is brutal.


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Default Jun 12, 2023 at 12:50 PM
  #9
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Yeah, I'm starting to feel like not being the cool kid in high school again. I go to Goodreads and they've added buttons to vote up or down on somebody's posts! It's only on certain screens thankfully. Honestly why is that necessary to put people down?? I swear I won't post in those screens. They made other changes to the site I don't like.

I even stopped writing reviews because I rarely get any "likes" after being on the site since 2012. But others can get HUNDREDS just from writing crap like "This book was awesome! I couldn't put it down." What nonsense is THAT?? That's not a real review. The site that I go for cosmetics has a "helpful" and "not helpful" button. If you don't find something useful, does everyone have to know it, including the poster? Yelp does this too, which I long abandoned. Not all reviews even get counted, and I see the same votes of up/down there too.

Sigh---either in the real world or online, getting heard or acknowledged is brutal.

Yep I agree, it can be very brutal. It does make you feel like you’re back in school. Unfortunately those behaviors never truly end in adulthood, if anything it seems to get worse.
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Unhappy Jun 14, 2023 at 10:10 AM
  #10
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Yep I agree, it can be very brutal. It does make you feel like you’re back in school. Unfortunately those behaviors never truly end in adulthood, if anything it seems to get worse.
I know. And I thought getting older meant more maturity.

Someone on Goodreads told me she has a lot of likes because she has a lot of followers from writing reviews. (The subject of the thread was writing reviews, and I posted I hardly do it because I don't get any "likes" from my efforts. Yet someone who writes one line gets hundreds)

But writing reviews doesn't automatically mean you get followers or likes. She then sends a "friend" request, "follows" my reviews (of which I rarely write), and a group "invite". That's laying it on thick and seems so fake that I'm not doing any of that. With her 344 "friends" she doesn't need more and I'm sure she wouldn't even notice I didn't click "accept".

I'm a bit off topic, but it's still among the lines of someone saying or writing something and getting all these thanks. Yet someone writing something similar doesn't get them. It happens here, it happens on other forums.

Anyway your posts always look like I could have written them! It's uncanny. They always resonate with me.

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Default Jun 14, 2023 at 10:48 AM
  #11
Following the topic (slightly off but connected) about likes and thanks. I remember years ago (around 18 or so) being on a review website where you could earn points to convert to money to cash up simply by writing reviews (of any product or service) and the more thanks you received from other users the more points, the more money so there were ‘clicking circles’ whereby people were basically accumulating as many followers who would like their reviews. I heard some people made quite a bit of money this way, in fact looking back it was similar to influencers which happened on tik tok and instagram later on, almost like a prototype.

It’s a funny old world!
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Unhappy Jun 14, 2023 at 11:01 AM
  #12
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snip:

I heard some people made quite a bit of money this way, in fact looking back it was similar to influencers which happened on tik tok and instagram later on, almost like a prototype.

It’s a funny old world!
So much is about money, if you really think about it.

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Smirk Jun 14, 2023 at 12:13 PM
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I know. And I thought getting older meant more maturity.

Someone on Goodreads told me she has a lot of likes because she has a lot of followers from writing reviews. (The subject of the thread was writing reviews, and I posted I hardly do it because I don't get any "likes" from my efforts. Yet someone who writes one line gets hundreds)

But writing reviews doesn't automatically mean you get followers or likes. She then sends a "friend" request, "follows" my reviews (of which I rarely write), and a group "invite". That's laying it on thick and seems so fake that I'm not doing any of that. With her 344 "friends" she doesn't need more and I'm sure she wouldn't even notice I didn't click "accept".

I'm a bit off topic, but it's still among the lines of someone saying or writing something and getting all these thanks. Yet someone writing something similar doesn't get them. It happens here, it happens on other forums.

Anyway your posts always look like I could have written them! It's uncanny. They always resonate with me.
Yeah unfortunately it happens everywhere both online and in person. I’m glad you can relate to them.
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Default Jun 14, 2023 at 12:14 PM
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Following the topic (slightly off but connected) about likes and thanks. I remember years ago (around 18 or so) being on a review website where you could earn points to convert to money to cash up simply by writing reviews (of any product or service) and the more thanks you received from other users the more points, the more money so there were ‘clicking circles’ whereby people were basically accumulating as many followers who would like their reviews. I heard some people made quite a bit of money this way, in fact looking back it was similar to influencers which happened on tik tok and instagram later on, almost like a prototype.
It’s a funny old world!
Yep weird how things work.
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Default Jun 14, 2023 at 12:15 PM
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So much is about money, if you really think about it.
Yep this is true.
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