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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,502
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Jul 10, 2023 at 08:26 AM
#1
My mum seems to blame me for her depression she also says that she sleeps till 2pm so she doesn't have to see my mess. It's so crap even the doctor has picked up that she blames me for lots of things and it's like I'm not responsible for her sleeping I'm not responsible for her not eating enough times her day and her diabetes being out of control. Anytime I say she needs to eat more times a day she says that she's not hungry in the morning. She doesn't seem to care about her diabetes and would rather just scream at me and blame me for her lifestyle choices. So also blamed me for her not working because she takes care of me but honestly I don't understand. I feel exhausted I feel like nothing I do is enough I'm realizing that not all of it is me and that she personally is not feeling very mentally well. She's on Effexor and I ask her if ahe needs a counsellor she says I wouldn't be depressed if it wasn't for you. So I just dunno what to do.
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 ArmorPlate108, CANDC
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
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Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
Posts: 17,414
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Jul 10, 2023 at 09:42 PM
#2
@black-roses I am sorry you get blamed for things that are not directly related to the other person's problem.
I would talk to your therapist if you have one and they can guide you on what is a reasonable course. In the meantime, you could reinterpret what they are saying. If the say it is your fault, you can silently to yourself say that it is not her talking but the mental health issue. She is not talking about you but talking about how she feels, that the world is against her. This takes a lot of fortitude on your part, but not reacting can keep you from becoming entangled in their confusion. Trying to direct them seems like an uphill battle. Nothing will work from the sounds of it. Hope you find a way to protect yourself by avoiding reacting to the emotional barbs being thrown in your direction. @CANDC __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jun 2021
Location: 152 De Castro Compound Canlalay Biñan Laguna
Posts: 13
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Jul 11, 2023 at 04:16 AM
#3
Must be really tough to be in such a complicated and delicate situation.
One thing I would like to say is that it is definitely not your fault. None of us are perfect but you are not responsible for your mother's depression. It sounds like you care a lot about her and her well being and I am sure you are willing to try anything that might help her but the problem is that no one really knows what to do. Stay strong. I hope everything works out for you. |
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