Why did I get harassed & assaulted numerous times? Trigger warning!

jesyka · Jul 13, 2023 at 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John2023

Hey sorry to hear of the ordeals you have been through. I wonder if the clubs etc. you attended attracted the wrong kind of people, and intoxicated people are less inhibited. What I find helps is being aware of one's surroundings, the kind of people around me, if need be aware of quick exits, or people who can be approached to help. In the case of unwanted attention, drawing public attention to them can be enough of a deterrent if in a busy public space. Hope this has been of some help, and I hope you are well and keeping well.

Thanks.. I should’ve definitely left some of the bars I went to with some of my former crazy friends. I immediately felt ill at ease & unsafe a few times. I should’ve listened to my intuition and left.

I unfortunately wasn’t completely aware of my surroundings. I assumed I’d be safe as long as I was with a friend or around a lot of people. I was obviously wrong about that.

Apparently not even the people who work at clubs will protect you. I was called a prostitute in one of the scenarios I wrote & was told that I wouldn’t get in just for wanting to approach a rock band. Rude!

That probably wouldn’t have happened to a guy. I was being harassed for sure. The guy was in a power trip.

I thought that watching my drink & not talking to anyone was olaying it safe. Apparently not safe enough. As I said, I can never go to any club or venue alone from now on.

jesyka · Jul 13, 2023 at 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neversaynever001

I suggest you join a Jym and focus on yourself ony try just to make yourself stronger and others also who need your help. We get bullied only when we give opportunity to others to do so. I am six feet two inches and get bullied sometimes too. But I make it a point to raise myself only and win others by love and not hate

Why? So I’ll look tougher & that will stop people from harassing me? Unfortunately being female will always be the main issue. Even if I dressed in baggy clothes & wore no makeup, I could still get harassed anyways.

jesyka · Jul 13, 2023 at 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Most of the men that hang out at bars/clubs are grifters/drifters that don’t have a life outside that environment. That is what you get with that night crowd that hang out drinking and drugging. That would not be a place a healthy functional man would look for a woman for a relationship

I do understand that. I never went to these places to look for men to be clear. I’m married. I mostly went to clubs to enjoy a show.

jesyka · Jul 13, 2023 at 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

I guess they do it because they’ve found they can get away with it in these environments.

Maybe. There are limits though. People can’t just assault whoever they feel like. They can get kicked out or arrested for that. I got a group of thugs kicked out at one club once. I’d do it again too. I was to nice those orher times, & I clearly wasn’t thinking straight, ugh.

jesyka · Jul 13, 2023 at 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

If you are married, why are you even in these bars/clubs? And alone?

Because I had no one to go with usually. I didn’t want to miss a show I wanted to see because of that. I hated going there alone. My husband hates my music & crowds too. He’d never go to a show with me.

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