[JaGo]

Hey good people.

So, I'm 24 years old, and I've been in 3 serious relationships in my life since college. And they’ve all essentially followed the same trajectory.

1. Meet a girl and think she’s awesome.
2. Start dating.
3. Everything is going great, neither of us have complaints and we fall in love.
4. 6-12 months into the relationship I become restless and start to get annoyed at the other person for no reason.
5. I end up breaking things off and everybody’s sad.

I really don’t know why step 4 happens though. Maybe I’m scared of opening up to other people and letting them see that my layers below the surface that aren’t too pretty. Maybe I’m too restless and I know I won’t have as many experiences with other people if I have the responsibilities of being with the same person. Maybe I just get annoyed by people easily. It’s probably all of those things.

When I’m having casual sex and friend with benefits, and I don’t have the responsibilities of a monogamous relationship, I’m always a lot happier. Maybe that’s just what I’m supposed to be doing? I keep telling myself I’m eventually going to get married and have kids but maybe that’s not the life for me and I’m just not meant for serious relationships.

Thoughts? Advice?

[CopperStar]

No, not everyone is meant for a serious relationship.

Some people prefer celibacy, for various possible reasons.
Some people prefer only casual sex but no emotional intimacy.

What matters is the quality of your character.

Are you honest with yourself?
Are you honest with others?
Are you responsible not to spread diseases everywhere?
Are you responsible not to have an unwanted pregnancy?
Do you respect your partners and always tell them upfront what to expect?

Those are the things that matter.

[divine1966]

At 24 you just haven't met the right one. When you meet the right one step 4 won't happen.

You are very young. At 24 that many relationships.,,,are you rushing into them?

I look at other young people. My daughter had one serious relationship at your age, she then met her husband and they are now happly married at 27. My nephew is 25 and is in his first serious relationship which started at 24. These are not socially awkward losers but very social and successful professionals. And my nephew is gorgeous Lol

what I am trying to say it might be a good idea to take you'd relationships slow. Quantity doesn't grow into quality. That might be the reason you get all kind of problems with these ladies is that you don't really know them well

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[JaGo]

Originally Posted by CopperStar

Are you honest with yourself?

I try to be.

Are you honest with others?

Yes, if I'm not looking for a relationship I'm very clear about that before having sex with someone.

Are you responsible not to spread diseases everywhere?
Are you responsible not to have an unwanted pregnancy?

Yep, I use a condom every time.

Do you respect your partners and always tell them upfront what to expect?

Those are the things that matter.

It's something I pride myself in.

So I guess I'm doing okay then haha.

[JaGo]

Originally Posted by divine1966

At 24 you just haven't met the right one. When you meet the right one step 4 won't happen.

You are very young. At 24 that many relationships.,,,are you rushing into them?

I look at other young people. My daughter had one serious relationship at your age, she then met her husband and they are now happly married at 27. My nephew is 25 and is in his first serious relationship which started at 24. These are not socially awkward losers but very social and successful professionals. And my nephew is gorgeous Lol

what I am trying to say it might be a good idea to take you'd relationships slow. Quantity doesn't grow into quality. That might be the reason you get all kind of problems with these ladies is that you don't really know them well

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I usually take my relationships slow. I try to limit the amount we hang out because I don't want to rush into things. I've never moved in with a girl.

Maybe I just need to meet "that special someone" but I'm often wondering if that person even exists.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by JaGo

I usually take my relationships slow. I try to limit the amount we hang out because I don't want to rush into things. I've never moved in with a girl.


Maybe I just need to meet "that special someone" but I'm often wondering if that person even exists.

Man I am almost 50 and didn't give up yet . Lol At 24 you should just enjoy your life and be safe. Sure she exists

Do make a list of important qualities and red flags and proceed with caution next time you meet a girl

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[JaGo]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Man I am almost 50 and didn't give up yet . Lol At 24 you should just enjoy your life and be safe. Sure she exists

Do make a list of important qualities and red flags and proceed with caution next time you meet a girl

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Thank you for the advice. I guess my thing is, the people I've dated have been the kind of girls I've dreamed of dating. So if I get frustrated and upset with them, what hope do I have?

Maybe I just need to find a deeper emotional connection that I haven't found yet.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Perhaps you need to think about what you really want and why. There is no rush after all at 24 you have plenty of time.

[divine1966]

I wonder if seeing a therapist might help to figure out what's going on. I waited until almost 50 to figure out what's my pattern of relationships

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I agree with Divine. If seeing a therapist is possible for you, I think that you could benefit from it. It seems like you're trying to figure out what kind of emotional style you have.

[JaGo]

Yeah, I've seen a therapist but never really divulged too much about my relationship preferences. It would probably be a good idea if I went back and tried that.

[Blah nlah]

I’ve heard that we tend to get angry at our loved for no reason when we have repressed anger. Could be at our parents.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Blah nlah

I’ve heard that we tend to get angry at our loved for no reason when we have repressed anger. Could be at our parents.

This is almost ten year old thread
@Blah nlah

[Blah nlah]

Oh didn’t see
Haha