Insecure because I haven't worked in a decade

So, it's obvious to my friends that I'm insecure my mum saying that I shouldnt drive or learn nursing because of my add has created a believe that I am inferior to others and I can't do things because of add. The thing is my mum has damaged my mindset and made me insecure and feel like I need out side validation to make it. I've felt desperate for a boyfriend because that will make me feel like I have a purpose. My mother and my sister has damaged me there reeinforcement telling me I need disability payments has made me think that I am disabled and as a result it has made me loss confidence and motivation. I need to stop letting my family tell me I'm useless and to not do things because of add because there holding me back and damaging my self esteem. My dad doesn't believe I have any problems that make me inferior he was happy when I study maybe I should listen to people that believe in me and disregard those that don't. I need my own validation I need to know that I'm able to work because there damaging me.

@black-roses I am sorry you are getting negative feedback from some people, but I think you came across the answer by listening more to people that encourage you.

I find volunteer work very rewarding. It has helped improve my resume and added to my job experience. I also create safe boundaries for myself so I do not spend lots of time focusing on the negative things they say. @CANDC

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I've felt desperate for a boyfriend because that will make me feel like I have a purpose.

This is dangerous thinking.....when you base your purpose on someone else. So when the relationship breaks up.....then where does that leave your purpose & value? It needs to come from within yourself. A quality therapist can help you understand yourself & actual abilities & truly assess what you are capable of doing at this current point in time.

I was getting my AA degree in music & thought I could be a concert flute player. When I went on to the next level of university to get my BA degree I found out I did not have the talent it took to do that. We have to assess our abilities & talents based on reality, not our wishful thinking or some unknowing family members who may have their opinions based on what they incorrectly see. That is why it is important to have an unbiased 3rd person's opinion & therapy will give them an accurate view of who you are & your capabilities.

I am in therapy I see her next week.

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Originally Posted by black-roses I am in therapy I see her next week.

Do you ever discuss these issues with your therapist?

I've honestly seen her twice so I'm still getting to know her

She tells me I need to individuate and agreed that staying single is a good opinion for me at the moment. I might find it hard to schedule her in because of Tafe days on Wednesday finish at 4:30pm so I might have to cancel next week's appt.

I have really good news I went to my first tms session yesterday and for now on Medicare covers my sessions so I don't have to pay anything. You have no idea how greatful I am and so happy that I can have my treatments recover from PTSD OCD and depression and have my life back. I'm so happy I can't believe it. Thank you god

Such good news!!

I'm sorry you're not getting enough encouragement to be all that you can be. In this thread you've typed up several clear, coherent notes explaining your situation. There are lots of people who don't have enough education to do even that much. ADD alone might mean there are some types of work you would not excel at, but it doesn't render you incapable of holding any kind of a job. That's ridiculous. I don't think you should plan on becoming an air traffic controller. I'll bet you do know how to wash dishes and make a bed. If nursing interests you, look into becoming a home care attendant . . . or a nurse's aid. I did that for 8 years, after failing at some office jobs. Eventually I did complete nursing school and worked as a nurse.

You're main problem isn't ADD. Lots of people with that diagnosis are employed. Depression is a much bigger problem because it keeps you stuck and unwilling to try things.

Don't let all these letters of the alphabet define you. You are not useless! Look for some employment, and don't feel that any job is beneath you. Try things. Get some experience . . . doing anything. You'll meet people and you'll have other feedback to counterbalance what your mother is telling you. If there's a motel near you, see if they need another person to help clean rooms. Don't be afraid to start at the bottom. Try to find anything, even if it's just 2 days a week. It will be a start. Show up on time and do your best. Your self-esteem will get quite a boost.