What causes people to become targets for bullying & sexual assault?

Sorry to hear that. Your mom had no clue how to deal with bullying obviously. Did you try talking to your dad or a teacher?

I reacted to bullying by getting upset & telling some of the guys to stop bothering me. They thought it was funny. One time this guy said watch, she’s going to say stop it :::insert bullies name here:: I responded exactly as he said I would & his friends cracked up.

I didn’t think, I just reacted even though he just saud that. Stupid. As for being bullied as an adult, I think the same things caused it to happen, I was an easy target with no one to stick up for me, they knew that I probably wouldn’t talk back for fear of being fired, not being taken seriously if I did complain, etc.

They knew that they could probably get away with their bad behavior. These people were nasty. A few if them tried to bully tougher people at work but they failed to do so as one tough coworker fought back & lashed out ar them.

They didn’t mess with them much after that. They often go after the easy targets. Maybe jealously had something to do with it too. I rarely ever got picked on to often by the pretty popular girls who were happy & naturally confident.

I hate to say this, but most of the time it was by the ugly popular girls or the fat ones. A few of the pretty ones said mean things to me a few times. but I was mostly ignored by them. None of the good looking guys picked on me either. Only one crush of mine would look at me in a mocking way at times as he obviously looked down on me. Jerk

Isn’t that interesting? I guess that those people were insecure. I’ve noticed that most if the bullies in my life seemed to be unhappy with their lives.

I think victimization is complex. I had a recent experience where I was legitimately getting red flags from a superintendent and when I approached my family they called me a liar, gaslit me and completely (and dishonestly) reframed the story to make it sound like I was lying.

I feel like the complex relationship I had with my family set me up to dismiss my own victimization. I think that certain personality types like to victim blame, and if they view others as scapegoats or “less than” they are quick to blame and retell reality to suit their just-world view.

I went no contact and am still kind of in shock but taking sober look at how their invalidation made me vulnerable.

This was the thread I meant to reply to before (I was tired and posted in the other thread but not this one) (if I'd been more awake .... it was very late at night... I'd have replied in this thread too)

I don't think that anyone who is happy with their life is a bully. Bullies are extremely insecure (even if they think they ''hide it well'')

I could give examples from my life.....(one was a horrible ugly man, he had a vicious tongue. I was much younger, and on my own due to neglect by ''family''. I had nowhere to stay at the time. Not due to anything I had ''done'' or not done, but because ........... another time maybe).

The girls at school who bullied me were not pretty girls. Two of them were noticeably angry and miserable.

I saw one of them again in passing when I was in another city when I was 19. She still looked the same, ugly and miserable. I guess I ''should'' have felt sorry for her. She did not recognise me.