How can I nicely tell a medical professional to stop making an rude joke?

My chiropractor thinks its funny to keep mentioning me staying out of or not getting in trouble almost everytime I leave his office after I stupidly told him this one story.

I made the stupid mistake of trusting him to fast since he seemed cool & easy going. Big mistake. I mentioned going out one time with a crazy friend who got us kicked out of two bars.

Now he thinks that I’m the one who’s some alcoholic troublemaker instead of her, ugh.
I’m not even friends with her anymore.

I brushed it off but he seems to enjoy my seeing me annoyed. I think he’s being rude. I don’t want to negatively impact professional relationship with him.
He is a nice person other than that. He’s not rude in any other way.

So what would be the most tactful way to get him to stop this behavior? And why would he keep making these comments btw? It’s weird & unprofessional.

Never again. Ugh. I’d appreciate any advice. Thanks.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you.

There are articles on the internet about how to handle rude jokes. Not sure how helpful they are or would be but perhaps these are articles you might consider reading for new ideas.

I know a trick a psychologist taught me for handling this kind of thing. If someone says something rude to me in a light and joking way, I reply with the word "what?" This gives the person the opportunity to think about what they said to me. It usually surprises them and gets them thinking: "what did I just say to this person?"

If they say, "oh nothing" then the problem is solved. If they repeat the rudeness, I say "what?" again. I find this usually stops the unwanted behavior. Sometimes I have to use "what" repeatedly before a person gets the message.

On the face of it, the word "what?" is neither defensive or offensive. It is just a neurtral question.

It gives a person uttering a rude remark the opportunity to reflect on what they said and consider it. They might think that I didn't hear what I said and then repeat it. But if I say "what? again, that usually stops them in their tracks.

By responding to a rude remark with "what" it empowers me because it gives me an alternative to being hurt and victimized but is not so harsh as to be an attack on the other person. It is also very easy to remember since it is just the one word "what?"

The psychologist who taught me this called it a form of "verbal judo." In the martial art, judo, one uses another person's own weight and strength to defend oneself.

Sometimes I forget to use the word "what?" in rude situations, but it is comforting for me to know that it is something in my psychological tool box.

Not suggesting you use this. I'm just sharing what helps me. There are also articles by psychologists on "verbal judo" on the internet if you are interested.

Since I am not a psychologist, I have no clue what is the deep motivation behind what your chiropractor is doing, but I hope you find ways to avoid getting hurt.

You certainly don't deserve to be hurt and especially by a medical professional. I also hope that other members here will have better words for you than my poor words. So sorry again that this is happening to you!

Thanks. That’s actually a good idea. Hopefully that’ll work. I’m going to get my hair done today I’ll ask my stylist for advice too.

If you don’t want to confront him directly you could play “dumb”. “What do you mean? Why would you say that? What are you referring to?” Ask these questions every time he says that. Eventually he’ll stop saying it.

Thanks. I will. Hopefully he’ll stop doing that then. I don’t understand why he keeps doing that.

I kept saying oh please or whatever. He obviously think it’s funny. I think it’s rude & unprofessional.

He might think you like it because you aren’t telling him to stop. He also might think you shared it for a reason- like you think it’s funny. It’s not exactly something people usually share. You might want to tell him that you shared it not thinking and now it upsets you that he brings it up.

Maybe. I was annoyed whenever he mentioned that. I made a mistake in even telling him anything. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I overshared.

It sounds like he thinks he's being "cute" or "funny". He sounds like a tool. I would actually quit going to him. If you don't say anything, then you have to deal with it. If you do say something, then he might be offended and REALLY see you as a problem.

Just remember, he's not the only game in town.

That’s very true unfortunately. That’s why I was reluctant to say much of anything. He’s good at what he does & he charges almost half of what other places do. And he’s close to where I live.

I’ll try the playing dumb & the what are you talking about trick. He probably thinks it’s funny to get a reaction from me. He might stop if I speak up though.

I should’ve never mentioned anything this personal to him, ugh.

"Could you please not say that to me again? Thanks!"

Perfect.

Good post as always Bill3

Yep that would also stop him eventually

Thanks. I’ll do that.