Neighbours again!

Different ones this time!

I live in what's now considered prime rental property type (maisonette/ apartment). Owners are 60+ (including me). Renters younger, some couples, some singles. Problem is one couple where his parents own property (not joined to mine).

Girlfriend thinks world revolves round her with no consideration for communal access, privacy in garden, general respect for their neighbours. As expected, her partner supports all unacceptable behaviour. If you dare make a point, his language is threatening. He smokes and throws away cigarette ends on communal carpark, driveway and front gardens. Despite being told by another neighbour and his own father, he's restarted this.

On Saturday morning I wanted to photograph flowers in my garden to show my housebound mother. Stepped outside with camera just as neighbour's dog appeared at fence, where flowers are. Didn't notice she was in garden pegging out washing. Dog barked, she turned round and started shouting abuse at me for photographing dog. Said it was nothing to do with her and despite saying I wasn't, she was convinced I was invading my neighbour's privacy. Her partner came out and started swearing/calling me names. When told him not to speak to me like that, he said " let's see what you can do, bring it on!"

I then came inside, shaken and have not slept well since. Knocked on dog owner's door but he didn't answer. Still feel I should explain to him. Dog keeps looking over fence but he's now quickly calling it back inside.

One course of action is taking out anti-harassment order against them. In England, need at least 2 instances to get one, which I now have. Could be inviting a whole lot more trouble though. Have written down what happened. Want to discuss with another neighbour who has also experienced problems to get his view. I wish I could afford to move!

So sorry this is happening to you! How awful.

I've had troubles with bad neighbors before. One day I was kind of upset and just gave my bad neighbor a kind of "mad dog" stare. Thought nothing about it.

A few days later I was driving in the rain and I noticed that my brakes were getting less effective. I pulled into a garage and they noticed a piece of wire attached from my windshield wiper to my brake line. He said it looked like sabotage. When the windshield wiper moved it pulled out the brake line. I told police I thought it was my neighbor but they were no help since there was no proof.

Now I am afraid to raise issues with neighbors because I am scared of consequences.

People used to have more shared moral values but now it seems a lot of people lack empathy and a moral compass. I had to endure weeks of illegal fireworks set off at 2 and 3 in the morning because I know my neighbor has a sketchy past.

It is awful to have bad neighbors. I hope you will have better luck than I have had. I've lowered my expectations about neighbors to almost zero now. I wish I could move but I can't afford it.

Some big cities are making many felonies into misdemeanors and shrinking police forces. Things like simple theft, breaking and entering, simple burglary, criminal trespass and shop lifting are just minor offenses now.

My neighbor likes to use his firearms at night and the police said there was nothing they could do unless they actually caught him in the act and even then he would get a simple fine.

I live in a little house with bars on the doors and windows. It almost feels like I am in jail and criminals and malcontents are free. Crazy world.

Gosh this is horrible, both of you. I really don’t know what to say except as in any situation that might become legal territory to log and take as much evidence as you can to present to the authorities.

It sounds like you’ve researched or taken advice from somewhere posh girl?

Thanks everyone!

I consulted the internet about legal position. Both lawyers and local government authorities had plenty of advice. Same message on all, anti harassment court order. At least 2 incidents needed but applies to physical abuse, verbal abuse, harassment, actions that cause physical or emotional distress, etc etc.

Looks like they've gone on holiday, so will get some peace for about a week at least. Hoping owner comes round to cut grass, then I can talk to him. Shame the girl wasn't here this afternoon when I was talking to another neighbour's daughter (4). Can have a far more intelligent conversation with her!!

Spent pleasant hour in garden earlier tidying up without fear of being watched

What awful trashy people. Collect evidence and proof of their bad behaviors and harassment so you can address it. Their behavior shouldn’t be tolerated!

Unfortunately, they returned late yesterday afternoon

Atrocious behaviour on your neighbours part, poshgirl. The police do really need to have a word with them especially concerning the threats of violence. I think they'll cool off after that.🙏

Thanks mote.of.soul

Yes, I had thought of having a chat with police, when I drove past local station yesterday. Can always try Citizens Advice first, know how busy cops are.

I'm dwelling on it less now, better sleep last night. What comes back to bug me is she never asked if I had permission to photo the dog. Nor did she think for one moment that I was photographing the nearby flowers. Perhaps I'm making excuses because I don't think it will end with them having their collars felt!

His parents don't visit as often as they used to. When I do see them, there will be a polite request to install a fence, as boundary is still the wires from when built in 1989...

Had a very interesting and pleasant discussion with Doggy Dad this afternoon.

Although he said he wasn't getting involved, he did question the behaviour. When she shouted across to him that I was taking photos of his dog, his response was it's no problem. That would have inflamed her further. He added that he decided to take dog inside to avoid any further problems. We briefly discussed my theory that it's to do with boyfriend's parents owning where they live.

He added that it would have been a different matter if it was a child, but was quite happy for me to take photos., We then talked and laughed about his dog's behaviour. He didn't want him to be a nuisance.

I feel vindicated and energised, We both agreed best course of action was to ignore them. Will still keep notes of any future problems but don't think this is over.

I agree. Sorry Poshgirl. Neighbors can sure suck, and the ones above me are the worse than the ones that left. Thin walls and poor acoustics, it's horrible. And no consideration for their neighbors about noise or blocking someone from backing out because they parked their car there "for a minute".

Like you I've lowered my expectations too. I hate it here but don't know where to go. And the people there may not be better.

This country has lost its moral compass. People living in such close contact such as in apartment buildings should be mindful but they are not. It's me, me, me.

What do you mean by "mad dog" stare? Glowering at them?

I don't know what's wrong with the people in my building. Even saying hello or good morning puts ME on the receiving end of a glower or glare.

Thanks nonightowl

It was Yaowen who mentioned the "dog stare"! Think I know what is meant...

UK has lost its moral compass too. Younger people with sense of entitlement. That was said by another neighbour around my age relating to our shared access being blocked.

I've nothing against people renting, I realise how difficult it is to get onto the property ladder. All of the renters, except this couple and my upstairs neighbours, are responsible, decent people. Even the guy who doesn't speak much English still manages to be polite in his own way.

I quoted Yaowen, yet addressed you. Sorry, lol. It must mean a glare because dogs look lovingly at me. I meant to say "Yaowen" but rough day yesterday.

Most young people I encounter are courteous, like the ones at the gym. My neighbors are different for some reason, with a couple of exceptions. My building used to be much more diverse. Now it's mostly young people with their music, noise, and guests. No greetings or nods, no courtesy at all.

What I hate is having to constantly to adjust to new neighbors, as the turnover has always been high. And they fill vacancies so fast my head spins.

And when one has no family or friends, one looks to their neighbors to be a kind of "family", people who care you about you and vice versa.