[JH8854]

I don't know if any of you have been rejected romantically but if so, how did you deal with it? Did you take it personally?

There is a line of thought that being rejected by someone, or a lot of people means you are not good enough and have things to work on about yourself. You are not worthy essentially. I tend to agree that if someone is rejected the fault is usually on them, but rejection still feels very painful.

I recently went on two dates with an intelligent, attractive woman. I was able to make her laugh consistently, flirt, and I tried to talk comfortably to her. She told me after the first date that I'm not shy and she likes talking to me. After the second date though, she told me she wants to just be friends as there isn't any chemistry. I thought we had a connection, but she didn't seem to agree.

I really liked her; she is intelligent, confident, and thoughtful. She had a silly side to her. She is good looking to me and dresses well. Should I have accepted her offer for friendship instead of saying I'm not interested?

Is there anything wrong with being rejected, being single? Is it a marker on your worth? I mean if people don't want you, it is your fault. You have a problem.

How do you deal with being rejected by someone you really like? And should you take it personally?

[Tart Cherry Jam]

You have one datapoint though. Why are you talking about "people" who "don't want" you?

[Open Eyes]

When someone tells you there is no chemistry, it doesn’t mean you are a failure or are unworthy.

The answer to your question is don’t take it personally.

[eskielover]

First off chemistry can grow out of a friendship. If a relationship can't be a fridndship it will never be anything more.

Personally, "rejection" never did bother me because if I was TRULY HONEST with myself I always realized I agreed & it wasn't personal it was a real non-connection.
Wishful thinking relationships never work. You have things you expect in the other person in a relationship. If on a date & the other person doesn't fit what you are looking at, should she take that as a personal rejection or just that there isn't a match to the things YOU are looking for in a relationship.

Personally after a 33 year bad marriage I love my alone life & have no interest in ever dating or getting involved in any relationship ever again.

I hope you find a match....I learned after a bad marriage that it is better to know exactly what you want up front in a person & if any red flags are sensed....pay attention & don't go there. It is not rejection, it is wisdom that saves a lot of issues down the road

[lovethesun]

Maybe she’s just not the right fit for you. I’ve always felt that things kind of have a way of working themselves out. You may have found out eventually that you weren’t as compatible with her as you first thought. I don’t think you should take it personally. The issue may have been hers not yours. Just keep putting yourself out there and meeting new people

[Violetta75]

No if someone doesn't want you it's not your fault. It doesn't mean there's something inherently wrong with you. I had mentioned to my landlord (male) I'm female, that I give up and all I want is someone who can accept my faults. He put it in a better light. It's not about my faults, more about focusing on what I want and figure that out before trying to find someone. Then compromise is very important in a relationship. I don't think you did the wrong thing because you clearly wanted more than friendship.

[Tart Cherry Jam]

I have not been rejected romantically, but I have had instances when I was rejected by employers. Not a lot but has happened to me. Mostly it was a reflection of my mental state: say, I did an interview when depressed and as a result did not make a good impression. I have a great job now so these rejections just taught me that it is important to be in top shape for interviews, which was an important lesson to learn. And in no way were they a reflection of a negative self worth on my end.