[rappacinisgarden]

Hi I have a problem in my relationship and I'm blaming myself for it . The thing is that since i feel frustrated whith myself I dump it all on my relationship. my husband is a nice person, and is always willing to help me but i feel that I am unbalancing everything and always putting him down. Everything that he does I put it down or criticise it. I scream at him to see if he returns the screams and has never done so. So the only one that is frustrated is me. My motives are that I would like a different life, a different place to live in. But it's a difficult situation since I might have to leave him, and he seems the perfect man: understanding, patient, willing, hard worker, etc all that I am not This last week I have been more anxious than normal because one of his brothers is going to spend some time with us and i don't like it I feel so selfish with my husband! I don't want to be this way!!!

I fell totaly the opposite, even worthless and it ha gone for some time. Even though I put my husband down i know he is a nice person but I am abusing him in some way. i don't know how to control all these feelings! I feel very bad, and i feel that maybe I shoud separtae or something because i can't get the frustrtion out of my head.

At 32 i would like to start to stud and improve myself professionally but I feel so worthless thinking that i am not a normal personal since i can abuse somebody and am no fit for anything.

Also my husband is from a different culture and i kind of feel that his values are different from mine. Maybe it would be better to separate in order not to hurt him more and not create any problems in his family. i mean I don't want to be selfish.

[Rhapsody]

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stitlskin said:
But it's a difficult situation since I might have to leave him, and he seems the perfect man: understanding, patient, willing, hard worker, etc all that I am not

Maybe it would be better to separate in order not to hurt him more and not create any problems in his family. i mean I don't want to be selfish.

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May I ask?

Why are you having to leave the man you love?

Do you honestly think if you leave the man you married and vowed your life / heart to will not be hurt when you leave him?

Can you name the person(s) you learned to criticize others from? - did they criticize you in the past.

((( hugs )))

[Doh2007]

There are ways to learn to control your emotions if you work with a good therapist.

[Perna]

I don't think just moving away from your husband will solve your personal problems. If you meet another man, why would you not repeat the old situation?

How do you think moving will help you versus staying where you are with this good man? Do you have anything you are moving to, or are you just moving away?

I would find a local counsellor that can help you learn why you use your husband to abuse and how you can stop needing to do that.