My people pleaser friend lashed out at me for being honest with her today

Thanks. I think that some people need someone to vent to. I’m sure that some people thought that I was stupid. They obviously didn’t care anout me or respect me.

I was just someone they thought they could use.

They may not have cared about you or respected you but I doubt they’d have vented unless they sensed you were a sympathetic ear at the very least. That’s not to say they were good friends to you as they don’t sound it.

I do think it sounds like you’ve absorbed some negative messages about yourself and you’d benefit from developing awareness about your own worth.

That’s exactly what my last psychologist told me. It gave me a lot to think about.

Good post. A lot of people have vented to me. Some were using me. They did not value me or respect me. When they were done using me, they gave me negative messages about my worth and insulted me.

It would be great if I also developed more awareness of my worth.

No, these people I blocked & deleted didn’t care about me at all. They were just looking to use someone as a free therapist.

Speaking of therapists, I’ll be starting therapy with a new student therapist in the fall. I didn’t realize that I could still work with a different student therapist until zi called them .

I was dumped months ago by the last one for not making progress in the few months thar I was with her.

She never told me that I could just get another student therapist. It sounded like they wanted me to go elsewhere as I got referrals. So rude. Hopefully that won’t happen again. I’d go elsewhere if I could afford to do so. I have no insurance though.

I’m sorry. I misunderstood what Disco said here.

My psychologist said different.
She wanted me to break the negative self-talk and my feelings that I was good for nothing.
I never blamed others. I always put the focus on my sense of inadequacy.

She asked me to ask myself what benefit I got from saying and think these negative things about myself. And THAT gave me A LOT TO THINK.

Sorry. My apologies, again for the misunderstanding.

Break the circle.

Your English is fine.

No you didn’t misunderstand- this is the essence of what I meant.

So, I misunderstood when I re read it. lol!
Ok. Thank you. 👍

I still think that I’m being used & taken advantage of.

Maybe. I still think some of these people are definitely self absorbed.

What skills did you lesrn? What’s the name of that book?

They could well be self absorbed. But it doesn’t follow that they’d think you were weird or stupid to me.

I’m really glad for you that you’re going to be restarting therapy. I hope you’ll benefit from working on your self worth.

Como mejorar tus habilidades sociales by Elia Roca (How to improve your social skills. Assertiveness, self-esteem and emotional intelligence Program)
It’s a book in Spanish, written by a Spanish psychologist. Practical. Kind of workbook. That’s why it was so helpful.

It helps you to understand better social interactions from the perspective of the person who you are interacting with and how to respond in an assertive way, avoiding both passive and aggressive’s attitudes.

It helped me to know myself better in social interactions and which causes may be behind it.

Identifying cognitive distortions which I worked with my psychologists at the same time. My psych knew I liked to read so she proposed me that book.

As I said, I’m gonna give it a review because there’s always an opportunity to learn more things.
I was about to participate in a group to work social skills guided by this psychologist but the other members cancelled their participations and we never begin it.
That psychologist was very young and without many experience but that didn’t stop her from doing a good work and her motivation was so high that she made a difference for me.

Thanks for telling me about that book.

You’re welcome.

I wish you luck with your new therapist.