A relative invited me to rent for free and now is advising me to buy a house

I (25M) I have a relative that knew I will be looking for a new apartment and invited me to live with him rent-free. He suggested giving me a small one room apartment next to his house and repeated it multiple times, even told our common friends about it so I agreed as I enjoy spending time with him as I visit him often( He always calls to invite me). At first he told me that I should only pays my bills then told me I can live for free.

Now, two weeks before moving to his place, I visited him as always, he invites me often btw, and out of no where he started talking about houses and how buying a small apartment is beneficial to me as I will paying the amount of rent to the bank so better own something instead of renting and losing my money. I got shocked as I counted on him and stopped looking for apartments so I asked him upfront what about the small apartment you told me about and he responded saying that as promised I can come and live there. I asked him many times wether he needs the apartment now ( as I thought perhaps he changed his mind) and he declined saying he does not need it and he just told me about buying out of giving advices nothing more as houses are getting more expensive and I can reduce taxes.

I called him next day by phone and brought the subject again , as people tend to be more comfortable by phone, then asked him again. I thought maybe he will tell me he changed his mind ..but he said no and that he rented it a couple of years to gain some money but now I can live there for a year or two as he will sell it afterwards( no information here,I didn't know about selling it)

From the start I suggested paying rent many times but he declined. I am confused. Why would he bring the subject of buying a house then tells me" no you can live there for a year or two". I could not understand wether he wants me to move in or doesn't anymore. My instinct is giving me bad signs. I don't want to take things for free or let others feel used by me and at the same time I can't find an apartment in two weeks as I am living in a big city.

Could you please let me know what do you think?

@dhiax1278 welcome to MSF. I am sorry you are getting mixed messages from your future landlord.

Seeing that the messages keep changing, if I were in that situation I would want a lease in writing so that I did not move in and have him start charging me an exorbitant rent or possibly asking me for other things that I am unwilling to do. I am not trusting when the story keeps changing like that.

Hope you find an equitable solution. @CANDC

It seems that you don't have a choice but to move there as originally planned?

An option would be to move there and keep looking for apartments, and then move out as soon as you find something suitable.

With regard to buying a house: it seems that you know him well. Does he normally use indirect means to suggest things (such as, suggesting you buy a house when his true purpose is that you don't move in there, or you only stay a year or two)? Or, normally do you find him to be forthright, clear, and direct with you?

Also: does he normally have a kind nature, such that he would genuinely and consistently want you to live there rent-free?

I think that a contract would be a good idea. However, I imagine that if you bring that idea up, he might conclude that you don't trust him. You might then want to say upfront that it is hard to find housing and so for your peace of mind you want to be crystal clear, in writing, about when you must start looking for your next place to live.

My reading of this is that his telling you that buying rather than throwing away money on rent is the TRUTH. Obviously you don't have money for a down payment but a couple of years of rent free living could definitely put you in a place you could if you are very responsible with the money you get during that time. Sounds to me like he is planting thinking seeds in your mind for your future well being.

I personally BELIEVE that any business agreement between 2 people needs to have a written contract just in case anything legal comes up even for his benefit of defining the condition the house must be left in when you do move out.

I know I have had these conversations with people about buying rather than renting & I do have an initial rent free offer if my daughter ever needs it. She is renting & I understand exactly why she is & for her it is the right thing to do. I fully own my farm & it is a money pit & between vet bills & home repairs it leaves no money for anything else. Priorities are the determing factor in home ownership & something you should definitely consider rather than buy just because your friend tells you to

I don’t know about your area but in the US it’s generally not a good idea to buy one bedroom flat/condo/house. Those are really hard to sell. If you have 2/3 bedrooms even if it’s as small as one bedroom it’s better to get that.

My realtor told me that throughout his career he has been having troubles selling people’s one bedroom places. If you want/can only afford a small place, then get a small place but with two rooms even if tiny. I wonder if this relative pushes an apartment on you because he has hard time selling it

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I wonder if this relative pushes an apartment on you because he has hard time selling it

I was wondering the same thing like hoping you might buy it a few years later when he wants to sell because you don't want to mess around moving again even if it might nit be a good investment for you