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Member
Member Since Jun 2023
Location: the world
Posts: 489
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#1
even if that person is only a friend.
to me, when they talk to me and don't call me love, it makes me feel that they are sick of me and want nothing more to do with me- and when I get emails from people, I always check to make sure it says hi love at the top (and recently I've been checking for kisses at the bottom of messages, too!) is anyone else like this?, like you need to be called love or something to make your friendship feel like it means something |
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Discombobulated
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
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#2
This is really unusual. On and off, I have read this forum a lot and have never seen anyone with this need be called love.
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Molinit
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
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#3
How many people do call you love in emails?
I only have one person in my social circle who is in that habit. And I have a wide enough social circle which includes many true long term friends. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#4
No. It’s unusual expectation
I call my husband that and my daughter calls hers. But not all the time. I don’t call anyone else that and no one calls me that. My husband prefers other forms of endearment. I find term “love” is used more in UK than US but not like everyone calls all their friends that Would it be ok if they called you something else affectionate? |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
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#5
Nope....I always hated "terms of endearment" because actions never matched which basically made the term meaningless. Even now that I live almost in the south no one around my circle of friends ever use those kinds of terms even the normal "Southern" ones
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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SpaghettiLegs
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
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#6
I’d be turned off if a friend called me love, or honey or anything else like that.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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eskielover, SpaghettiLegs
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#7
My husband says I call him “love” when I am annoyed. “Love, why the shoes are in the middle of the hallway?” Lol
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eskielover
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SpaghettiLegs
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
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#8
I don’t feel I need that much reassurance, but I can relate to feeling insecure and fearful about my close relationships.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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AzulOscuro, SpaghettiLegs
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
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#9
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,721
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#10
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Tart Cherry Jam
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Grand Member
Member Since Aug 2023
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 753
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#11
Like others are saying, in Britain where it's common but it's barely even a term of endearment, more likely they forgot my name. Here in the Netherlands I very rarely get called love, sweethear, dear. I think it's considered very sexist these days? My family also very rarely use the terms although I look for "I love you" at the end of a message or card, especially from my son. With family (son, siblings, parents) I'm guilty of convincing myself that they hate me or can't be bothered with me.
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
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#12
I think it depends on where you come from, and there’s huge regional variance within uk, I’ve heard dear, duck, pet (north), my lovely, hen (that’s Scotland) - personally I like it but enjoy the words and dialects more than implying any deep meaning. There’s only my husband calls me ‘my love’ and means it.
Do you talk to your friends about your liking to be called love? |
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Tart Cherry Jam
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
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#13
I think the regional difference makes a lot of sense plus nationally. Not only am I a northern midwestern I’m from German-Nordic background which is not very demonstrative. I purposefully raised my daughter with lots of hugs and endearments that didn’t come naturally to me and she is very outgoing with her love, but because of where we live we don’t say or write endearments in print.
__________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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Discombobulated, Tart Cherry Jam
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Grand Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Michigan
Posts: 865
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#14
I think you’ll need to work on getting used to not hearing it too much in the future, as someone mentioned above, someone using that term in conversation can run into trouble, it’s way too familiar to use with most people and someone may object to being spoken to that way.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
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#15
Quote:
The word love from what I hear is a term whose usage is largely spread between an assistant and a customer . Addressed by the former to the latter. Here, in Spain is the same. My hairdresser call her customers “darling” but it has no other meaning than being polite or friendly. If someone called me by text, or in person, even a friend, love, I would be shocked. There must be a reason why you feel uncomfortable if this not happen. Which people this issue happen to you with? Unknown, friends, acquaintances? __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
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#16
Yes, I have often been called hun for honey by service providers. It does not mean anything.
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Discombobulated
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
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#17
@emily1890, do you call other people LOVE in person and over email?
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ɘvlovƎ
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: Australia
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#18
I’ve never once called a person “love”. It’s not even in my vocabulary.
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