Did my new aquaintence have ulterior motives?

I have tried to give various men throughout the years the benefit of the doubt, but I have been disappointed & hurt each time. Very few men have actually left me alone.

The ones that got to know me better hurt me on a psychological or physical level.

It’s easy to judge other people when you’ve never personally been hurt by men nefore or sexually assaulted by them.

I have been sexually assaulted & harassed many times. Most men are pigs. I have been assaulted at work even in front of coworkers who did nothing, do it’s not like you can blame alcohol or bring in a club for bad behavior.

I have mostly stayed out of bars & clubs for awhile. I stopped going anywhere alone at night. I rarely even go to the store alone at night anymore.

Why should I be friends with men when all they did was hurt me? Give me one good reason why. And what’s weird is that the some women tell me I shouldn’t be friends with men since I’m married, so it’s like I’m damned if I do, and I’m damned if I don’t. I just can’t win, lol.

I’m doing what I feel the most comfortable & safest doing, NOT what society & other people dictate what I SHOULD do! I’m DONE doing whatever other people think I should do.

I know what works for ME & what doesn’t. I’m done with being expected to think or act a certain way just because it’s what’s considered ‘normal ’ or ‘right’ by other people’s standards

It’s not an easy thing to deal with. Especially when it’s bern done multiple times.. And don’t blame me for things either as it’s not always the victims fault,

Predators are good at spotting their prey. I thought that I was cautious with almost everything in the past, but I apparently wasn’t cautious enough.

As for that guy or whoever it was, obviously I made a mistake with him or them. Never again. I’m officially done with all men online & offline.

Yes, I do remember both your stories. I’m sorry to hear that you both dealt with S.A too. I’m not willing to take anymore chances.

Especially since I tend to attract predators for some reason. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

If you remember stories about assaults, why would you tell Tart that she’d know better if she was assaulted?

I wasn’t even taking any chances. I don’t go to bars or clubs or drink or wander around in the dark. One time I was going to work and the other going home from work. Not putting myself into dangerous situations. But again these are criminals. It doesn’t mean regular men are this way. It doesn’t do you any services concluding that you can’t trust men. Regular men don’t go around attacking anyone

Idk, all I know is that I’m getting to be very frustrated & upset that I seem to be getting blamed for what happened to me as if just about everything was my fault.

It’d be like me blaming what happened to you & tart as being your fault mostly. Wouldn’t that make you upset too? I came here for support, not to be judged & criticized.

I kept hearing the same accusations:

That’s what happens at bars & clubs, you shouldn’t have been drinking or been there to begin with.

It’s the predators who need to ne blamed for things. They are the problem, not the victims obviously. I’ll always side with the victim no matter how drunk they were or what they were wearing. Idc if their phone died, I wouldn’t call them irresponsible or whatever.

I dont care if they should’ve known better than to talk to a stranger or be there alone, it’s still not their fault for being S.A.

They didn’t ask for it. Maybe I’m in the rare minority here, but I would never victim shame & blame like I’ve been shamed & blamed.

As if that’s all I need to do to not get S.A. That’s not true as I DID get S.A at work once in front of my apathetic coworkers.

I should just stop posting on here as all I’m getting is mostly judgment & accusations from most people on here & not not that much support anymore.

To be fair though, you did provide a few links as did a few other people which I appreciated.

Most of the time I’m bring unfairly criticized & accused of things though & I’m sick of it.

I can’t control certain situations or other peoples actions.

There is no victim shaming. You said you better not take any chances. But I didn’t even take chances. I was walking from work. So sadly criminals could attack anywhere. But it doesn’t mean you can’t trust regular every day men who don’t engage in criminal activity such as assaulting women. You make it sound like men are all dangerous predators. That’s just not the case. Yes predators are to blame. Not ALL men.

I never ever said it’s a woman’s fault if she got assaulted. That never came out of my mouth.

You got sexually assaulted in front of the coworkers? Did you have a police report? Was police called? Did you do a formal complaint? They assaulted people at work????

Jesyka has there ever been one man in your life who you have had a good respectful relationship with? A grandfather, uncle or cousin even? Any man at all?

I was actually not up to date saying that the data you send to ChatGPT will be used to train OpenAI models. This is no longer the case. From the FAQ

Do you store the data that is passed into the API?
As of March 1st, 2023, we retain your API data for 30 days but no longer use your data sent via the API to improve our models. Learn more in our data usage policy. Some endpoints offer zero retention. Full information at OpenAI Platform and https://openai.com/policies/usage-policies,

We are reopening this thread. Please take care not to discuss other members (and their treatment of you) publicly.