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Member Since Sep 2023
Location: Vilnius
Posts: 2
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#1
Hi! I am new to this forum.
I thought I wanted to try. Here is the issue. The issue is my friend or rather an acquaintance (we know each other for less than a year). In the beginning, I just needed a person to talk to, generally I need a person to tell what I'm dealing with, to share my problems, but it has turned out that the more we communicate, the less this is ok. I avoided to get her into my FB account, but she got there at one point. Now, I'm feeling like the person is constantly jealous of me. She has had a total of two friends, but I tried to ignore those things, but it's coming up. Like, I'm now trying to enter one position, and I have been naturally talking about it a lot when we meet, but it turned out she was extremely jealous. Last time I wrote a message saying that I sent this application, and she didn't even bother to write back. Then I work only on a business license and teach adults English, she didn't even have a job in the beginning. So, now she's doing the same things, works as a tutor, teaches children different subjects, I've shared everything, my experience, knowledge, how it works with the licence, even got to tell her my rates. But when we meet, she tells me how she is soon going to reach my rate (even though she has never worked, she doesn't have education apart from school and she has never worked in her life). I also have this bad feeling that the person is sneaky - I know that she's been googling me when we started to communicate, now it feels like she's doing the same on FB, etc. I feel like she's jealous of me. We also went on a bike trip and she constantly tried to "out-do" me, riding in front, even though she doesn't have physical preparedness, she hit one person riding the opposite direction and got her injured, but she didn't even go to apologise. I was feeling a little bit sorry for her, especially when she told me her "big problems", like she has lost a lot of weight recently, she hasn't done anything for 10 years, she has had only two friends in her lifetime. She hasn't finished any higher degree nor has worked anywhere. As far as I can tell, she doesn't interact much with her groupmates at university. I have recently seen one priest from the church we are going on FB (when you know, FB shows friends' suggestions), and since she has added him on FB, even though she has very few FB friends, it has just dawned on me that perhaps she is complaining to the church priests that I am mistreating her. I don't know. I don't like this. What does it look like for you? If something isn't clear, I can clarify. Also, sorry for the long post. |
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Bill3
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Bill3
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Super Moderator
Community Support Team Community Liaison
Chat Leader Member Since May 2014
Location: Northeast USA New England
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#2
Hi @breadandbutter welcome to MSF. I am sorry things are not as expected with your online friend that is also an IRL In Real Life friend too.
It is difficult for me to advise you since I am not sure of the consequences but I would definitely rethink what you share with them and spending time in person. It seems like you wanted a confidant and advocate and they are turning out to be a competitor and possibly a problem. I like online anonymous sharing like on this site where everyone is anonymous and can avoid offsite contact. It gives one a separation between real life and the most precious things you have to share. Caution is the word that comes to mind. Hope you get the support you are looking for. __________________ Super Moderator Community Support Team "Things Take Time" |
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Bill3, breadandbutter
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,901
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#3
I always TRUST my gut feeling & when I don't I am usually wrong.
If this person is just an acquaintance I would probably start distancing myself from her. Maybe in a slow way so not as obvious & just fade away....but if that doesn't work I would probably block her from all my contacts. People who cause an unbalance in my life & am learning to remove because my life doesn't need that __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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breadandbutter
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New Member
Member Since Sep 2023
Location: Vilnius
Posts: 2
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#4
I have a problem that I'm not good at lying, but life requires that, you can't be an open book, but I'm just very bad at that. So she got to know many things from me. So, it's very toxic for myself when I constantly share everything, but this person, for example, I know has lied many times, whenever this is convenient.
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Magnate
Member Since Mar 2021
Location: California
Posts: 2,687
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#5
She is trying to one-up you. See https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/...english/one-up
If you are not good at lying and fading away gradually is not an option, tell her that you do not see a future for the connection, are glad that you have provided her with the learnings that she hopefully finds useful, wish her success, but won't maintain the connection. And at that point, see how she responds. If she does not respond well, block her on FB. __________________ Bipolar I w/psychotic features Last inpatient stay in 2018 Geodon 40 mg Seroquel 75 mg Lybalvi 5 mg as a PRN Gabapentin 1200 mg, Vitamin B-complex (against extrapyramidal side effects) Long term side effects from medications some of them discontinued: - hypothyroidism - obesity Suspected narcolepsy Treated with Ritalin 5mg |
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Bill3, eskielover
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